Authors Posts by Rob Brezsny

Rob Brezsny


For the week of June 21

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): There are places in the oceans where the sea floor cracks open and spreads apart from volcanic activity. This allows geothermally heated water to vent out from deep inside the earth. Scientists explored such a place in the otherwise frigid waters around Antarctica. They were elated to find a “riot of life” living there, including previously unknown species of crabs, starfish, sea anemones and barnacles. Judging from the astrological omens, Aries, I suspect that you will soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable eruption of warm vitality from the unfathomable depths. Will you welcome and make use of these raw blessings even if they are unfamiliar and odd?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’m reporting from the first annual Psychic Olympics in Los Angeles. For the past five days, I’ve competed against the world’s top mind-readers, dice-controllers, spirit whisperers, spoon-benders, angel-wrestlers and stock market prognosticators. Thus far I have earned a silver medal in the category of channeling the spirits of dead celebrities. (Thanks, Frida Kahlo and Gertrude Stein!) I psychically foresee that I will also win a gold medal for most accurate fortune-telling. Here’s the prophecy that I predict will cinch my victory: “People born in the sign of Taurus will soon be at the pinnacle of their ability to get telepathically aligned with people who have things they want and need.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): While reading Virginia Woolf, I found the perfect maxim for you to write on a slip of paper and carry around in your pocket, wallet or underwear: “Let us not take it for granted that life exists more fully in what is commonly thought big than in what is commonly thought small.” In the coming weeks, dear Gemini, I hope you keep this counsel simmering constantly in the back of your mind. It will protect you from the dreaminess and superstition of people around you. It will guarantee that you’ll never overlook potent little breakthroughs as you scan the horizon for phantom miracles. And it will help you change what needs to be changed slowly and surely, with minimum disruption.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now that you’ve mostly paid off one of your debts to the past, you can go window-shopping for the future’s best offers. You’re finally ready to leave behind a power spot you’ve outgrown and launch your quest to discover fresh power spots. So bid farewell to lost causes and ghostly temptations, Cancerian. Slip away from attachments to traditions that no longer move you and the deadweight of your original family’s expectations. Soon you’ll be empty, light and free—and ready to make a vigorous first impression when you encounter potential allies in the frontier.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I suspect that you will soon have an up-close and personal encounter with some form of lightning. To ensure that it’s not a literal bolt shooting down out of a thundercloud, please refrain from taking long romantic strolls with yourself during a storm. Also, forgo any temptation you may have to stick your finger in electrical sockets. What I’m envisioning is a type of lightning that will give you a healthy metaphorical jolt. If any of your creative circuits are sluggish, it will jumpstart them. If you need to wake up from a dreamy delusion, the lovable lightning will give you just the right salutary shock.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Signing up to read at the open mic segment of a poetry slam? Buying an outfit that’s a departure from the style you’ve cultivated for years? Getting dance lessons, a past-life reading or instructions on how to hang-glide? Hopping on a jet for a spontaneous getaway to an exotic hotspot? I approve of actions like those, Virgo. In fact, I won’t mind if you at least temporarily abandon at least 30 percent of your inhibitions.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I don’t know what marketing specialists are predicting about color trends for the general population, but my astrological analysis has discerned the most evocative colors for you Libras. Electric mud is one. It’s a scintillating mocha hue. Visualize silver-blue sparkles emerging from moist dirt tones. Earthy and dynamic! Cybernatural is another special color for you. Picture sheaves of ripe wheat blended with the hue you see when you close your eyes after staring into a computer monitor for hours. Organic and glimmering! Your third pigment of power is pastel adrenaline: A mix of dried apricot and the shadowy brightness that flows across your nerve synapses when you’re taking aggressive practical measures to convert your dreams into realities. Delicious and dazzling!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Do you ever hide behind a wall of detached cynicism? Do you protect yourself with the armor of jaded coolness? If so, here’s my proposal: In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to escape those perverse forms of comfort and safety. Be brave enough to risk feeling the vulnerability of hopeful enthusiasm. Be sufficiently curious to handle the fluttery uncertainty that comes from exploring places you’re not familiar with and trying adventures you’re not totally skilled at.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars,” writes Jack Gilbert in his poem “Tear It Down.” He adds that “We find out the heart only by dismantling what the heart knows.” I invite you to meditate on these ideas. By my calculations, it’s time to peel away the obvious secrets so you can penetrate to the richer secrets buried beneath. It’s time to dare a world-changing risk that is currently obscured by easy risks. It’s time to find your real life hidden inside the pretend one, to expedite the evolution of the authentic self that’s germinating in the darkness.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When I was 4 years old, I loved to use crayons to draw diagrams of the solar system. It seems that I was already laying a foundation for my interest in astrology. How about you, Capricorn? I invite you to explore your early formative memories. To aid the process, look at old photos and ask relatives what they remember. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that your past can show you new clues about what you might ultimately become. Potentials that were revealed when you were a wee tyke may be primed to develop more fully.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I often ride my bike into the hills. The transition from the residential district to open spaces is a narrow dirt path surrounded by thick woods on one side and a steep descent on the other. Today as I approached this place there was a new sign on a post. It read, “Do not enter: Active beehive forming in the middle of the path.” Indeed, I could see a swarm hovering around a tree branch that juts down low over the path. How to proceed? I might get stung if I did what I usually do. Instead, I dismounted from my bike and dragged it through the woods so I could join the path on the other side of the bees. Judging from the astrological omens, Aquarius, I suspect that you may encounter a comparable interruption along a route that you regularly take. Find a detour, even if it’s inconvenient.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I bet you’ll be extra creative in the coming weeks. Cosmic rhythms are nudging you towards fresh thinking and imaginative innovation, whether they’re applied to your job, your relationships, your daily rhythm or your chosen art form. To take maximum advantage of this provocative luck, seek out stimuli that will activate high-quality brainstorms. I understand that the composer André Grétry got inspired when he put his feet in ice water. Author Ben Johnson felt energized in the presence of a purring cat and by the aroma of orange peels. I like to hang out with people who are smarter than me. What works for you?

Homework: What were the circumstances in which you were most amazingly, outrageously alive? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

For the week of June 14

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You have to admit that salt looks like sugar and sugar resembles salt. This isn’t usually a major problem, though. Mistakenly sprinkling sugar on your food when you thought you were adding salt won’t hurt you, nor will putting salt in your coffee when you assumed that you were using sugar. But errors like these are inconvenient, and they can wreck a meal. You may want to apply this lesson as a metaphor in the coming days, Aries. Be alert for things that outwardly seem to be alike but actually have different tastes and effects.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s a possible plan for the next 10 days: Program your smart phone to sound an alarm once every hour during the entire time you’re awake. Each time the bell or buzzer goes off, you will vividly remember your life’s main purpose. You will ask yourself whether or not the activity that you’re engaged in at that specific moment is somehow serving your life’s main purpose. If it is, literally pat yourself on the back and say to yourself, “Good job!” If it’s not, say the following words: “I am resolved to get into closer alignment with my soul’s code—the blueprint of my destiny.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Actress Marisa Berenson offers a line of anti-aging products that contain an elixir made from the seeds of a desert fruit known as prickly pear. The manufacturing process isn’t easy. To produce a quart of the potion requires 2,000 pounds of seeds. I see you as having a metaphorically similar challenge in the coming weeks, Gemini. To create a small amount of the precious stuff you want, I’m guessing that you’ll have to gather a ton of raw materials. And there may be a desert-like phenomena to deal with, as well.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): There are three kinds of habits: Good, bad and neutral. Neutral habits are neither good nor bad but use up psychic energy that might be better directed into cultivating good habits. Here are some examples: A good habit is when you’re disciplined about eating healthy food; a bad habit is watching violent TV shows before going to bed, thereby disturbing your sleep; a neutral habit might be doing Sudoku puzzles. My challenge to you, Cancerian, is to dissolve one bad habit and one neutral habit by replacing them with two new good habits. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, cosmic forces will be on your side as you make this effort.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Dear Dr. Astrology: Good fortune has been visiting me a lot lately. Many cool opportunities have come my way. Life is consistently interesting. I’ve also made two unwise moves that fortunately didn’t bring bad results. Things often work out better for me than I imagined they would! I’m grateful every day, but I feel like I should somehow show even more appreciation. Any ideas?—Lucky Leo.” Dear Lucky: The smartest response to the abundance you have enjoyed is to boost your generosity. Give out blessings. Dispense praise. Help people access their potentials. Intensify your efforts to share your wealth.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Years ago, a fan of my work named Paul emailed to ask me if I wanted to get together with him and his friend when I visited New York. “Maybe you know her?” he wrote. “She’s the artist Cindy Sherman.” Back then I had never heard of Cindy. But since Paul was smart and funny, I agreed to meet. The three of us convened in an elegant tea room for a boisterous conversation. A week later, when I was back home and mentioned the event to a colleague, her eyes got big and she shrieked, “You had tea with THE Cindy Sherman.” She then educated me on how successful and influential Cindy’s photography has been. I predict that you will soon have a comparable experience, Virgo: Inadvertent contact with an intriguing presence. Hopefully, because I’ve given you a heads up, you’ll recognize what’s happening as it occurs, and take full advantage.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’ll never get access to the treasure that’s buried out under the cherry tree next to the ruined barn if you stay in your command center and keep staring at the map instead of venturing out to the barn. Likewise, a symbol of truth may be helpful in experiencing deeper meaning, but it’s not the same as communing with the raw truth, and may even become a distraction from it. Let’s consider one further variation on the theme: The pictures in your mind’s eye may or may not have any connection with the world outside your brain. It’s especially important that you monitor their accuracy in the coming days.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to go gallivanting so heedlessly into the labyrinth. Or maybe it was. Who knows? It’s still too early to assess the value of your experiences in that maddening but fascinating tangle. You may not yet be fully able to distinguish the smoke and mirrors from the useful revelations. Which of the riddles you’ve gathered will ultimately bring frustration and which will lead you to wisdom? Here’s one thing that I do know for sure: If you want to exit the labyrinth, an opportunity will soon appear.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Over the years I’ve read numerous news reports about people who have engaged in intimate relations with clunky inanimate objects. One had sex with a bicycle. Another seduced a sidewalk, and a third tried to make sweet love to a picnic table. I hope you won’t join their ranks in the coming weeks. Your longing is likely to be extra intense, innovative and even exotic, but I trust that you will confine its expression to unions with adult human beings who know what they’re getting into and who have consented to play. Here’s an old English word that you might want to add to your vocabulary: “Blissom.” It means “to bleat with sexual desire.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your life in the coming days should be low on lightweight diversions and high in top-quality content. Does that sound like fun? I hope so. I’d love to see you enjoy the hell out of yourself as you cut the fluff and focus on the pith … as you efficiently get to the hype-free heart of every matter and refuse to tolerate waffling or stalling. So strip away the glossy excesses, my dear Capricorn. Skip a few steps if that doesn’t cause any envy. Expose the pretty lies, but then just work around them; don’t get bogged down in indulging in negative emotions about them.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Inventor, architect and author Buckminster Fuller lived to the age of 87. For 63 of those years, he kept a detailed scrapbook diary that documented every day of his life. It included his reflections, correspondence, drawings, newspaper clippings, grocery bills and much other evidence of his unique story. I would love to see you express yourself with that much disciplined ferocity during the next two weeks. According to my astrological analysis, you’re in a phase when you have maximum power to create your life with vigorous ingenuity and to show everyone exactly who you are.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You have a cosmic license to enjoy almost too much sensual pleasure. In addition, you should feel free to do more of what you love to do than you normally allow yourself. Be unapologetic about surrounding yourself with flatterers and worshipers. Be sumptuously lazy. Ask others to pick up the slack for you. Got all that? It’s just the first part of your oracle. Here’s the rest: You have a cosmic license to explore the kind of spiritual growth that’s possible when you feel happy and fulfilled. As you go through each day, expect life to bring you exactly what you need to uplift you. Assume that the best service you can offer your fellow humans is to be relaxed and content.

Homework: Do a homemade ritual in which you vow to attract more blessings into your life. Report results at FreeWillAstrology.com.

For the week of June 8

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you chose me as your relationship guide, I’d counsel you and your closest ally to be generous with each other; to look for the best in each other and praise each other’s beauty and strength. If you asked me to help foster your collaborative zeal, I’d encourage you to build a shrine in honor of your bond—an altar that would invoke the blessings of deities, nature spirits and the ancestors. If you hired me to advise you on how to keep the fires burning and the juices flowing between you two, I’d urge you to never compare your relationship to any other, but rather celebrate the fact that it’s unlike any other in the history of the planet.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Milky Way Galaxy contains more than 100 billion stars. If they were shared equally, every person on Earth could have dominion over at least 14. I mention this because you’re in a phase when it makes sense for you to claim your 14. Yes, I’m being playful, but I’m also quite serious. According to my analysis of the upcoming weeks, you will benefit from envisaging big, imaginative dreams about the riches that could be available to you in the future. How much money do you want? How much love can you express? How thoroughly at home in the world could you feel? How many warm rains would you like to dance beneath? How much creativity do you need to keep reinventing your life? Be extravagant as you fantasize.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “When I grow up, I’m not sure what I want to be.” Have you ever heard that thought bouncing around your mind, Gemini? Or how about this one: “Since I can’t decide what I want to be, I’ll just be everything.” If you have been tempted to swear allegiance to either of those perspectives, I suggest that it’s time to update your relationship with them. A certain amount of ambivalence about commitment and receptivity to myriad possibilities will always be appropriate for you. But if you hope to fully claim your birthright, if you long to ripen into your authentic self, you’ll have to become ever-more definitive and specific about what you want to be and do.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): As a Cancerian myself, I’ve had days when I’ve stayed in bed from morning to nightfall, confessing my fears to my imaginary friends and eating an entire cheesecake. As an astrologer, I’ve noticed that these blue patches seem more likely to occur during the weeks before my birthday each year. If you go through a similar blip anytime soon, here’s what I recommend: Don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t resist it. Instead, embrace it fully. If you feel lazy and depressed, get REALLY lazy and depressed. Literally hide under the covers with your headphones on and feel sorry for yourself for as many hours as it takes to exhaust the gloom and emerge renewed.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the early days of the internet, “sticky” was a term applied to websites that were good at drawing readers back again and again. To possess this quality, a content provider had to have a knack for offering text and images that web surfers felt an instinctive yearning to bond with. I’m reanimating this term so I can use it to describe you. Even if you don’t have a website, you now have a soulful adhesiveness that arouses people’s urge to merge. Be discerning how you use this stuff. You may be stickier than you realize!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Ancient Mayans used chili, magnolia and vanilla to prepare exotic chocolate drinks from cacao beans. The beverage was sacred and prestigious to them. It was a centerpiece of cultural identity and an accessory in religious rituals. In some locales, people were rewarded for producing delectable chocolate with just the right kind and amount of froth. I suspect, Virgo, that you will soon be asked to do the equivalent of demonstrating your personal power by whipping up the best possible chocolate froth. And according to my reading of the astrological omens, the chances are good that you’ll succeed.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do you have your visa for the wild side? Have you packed your bag of tricks? I hope that you’ll bring gifts to dispense, just in case you’ll need to procure favors in the outlying areas where the rules are a bit loose. It might also be a good idea to take along a skeleton key and a snake-bite kit. You won’t necessarily need them. But I suspect that you’ll be offered magic cookies and secret shortcuts, and it would be a shame to have to turn them down simply because you’re unprepared for the unexpected.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’re like a prince or princess who has been turned into a frog by the spell of a fairy tale villain. This situation has gone on for a while. In the early going, you retained a vivid awareness that you had been transformed. But the memory of your origins has faded, and you’re no longer working so diligently to find a way to change back into your royal form. Frankly, I’m concerned. This horoscope is meant to remind you of your mission. Don’t give up! Don’t lose hope! And take extra good care of your frog-self, please.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): People might have ideas about you that are at odds with how you understand yourself. For example, someone might imagine that you have been talking trash about them—even though you haven’t been. Someone else may describe a memory they have about you, and you know it’s a distorted version of what actually happened. Don’t be surprised if you hear even more outlandish tales, too, like how you’re stalking Taylor Swift or conspiring with the One World Government to force all citizens to eat kale every day. I’m here to advise you to firmly reject all of these skewed projections. For the immediate future, it’s crucial to stand up for your right to define yourself —to be the final authority on what’s true about you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “God doesn’t play dice with the universe,” said Albert Einstein. In response, another Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Niels Bohr, said to Einstein, “Stop giving instructions to God.” I urge you to be more like Bohr than Einstein in the coming weeks, Capricorn. As much as possible, avoid giving instructions to anyone, including God, and resist the temptation to offer advice. In fact, I recommend that you abstain from passing judgment, demanding perfection and trying to compel the world to adapt itself to your definitions. Instead, love and accept everything and everyone exactly as they are right now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lysistrata is a satire by ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes. It takes place during the war between Athens and Sparta. The heroine convinces a contingent of women to withhold sexual privileges from the soldiers until they stop fighting. “I will wear my most seductive dresses to inflame my husband’s ardor,” says one. “But I will never yield to his desires. I won’t raise my legs towards the ceiling. I will not take up the position of the Lioness on a Cheese Grater.” Regardless of your gender, Aquarius, your next assignment is twofold: 1. Don’t be like the women in the play. Give your favors with discerning generosity. 2. Experiment with colorful approaches to pleasure like the Lioness with a Cheese Grater, the Butterfly Riding the Lizard, the Fox Romancing the River and any others you can dream up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take your seasick pills. The waves will sometimes be higher than your boat. Although I don’t think that you’ll capsize, the ride may be wobbly. And unless you have waterproof clothes, it’s probably best to just get naked. You WILL get drenched. By the way, don’t even fantasize about heading back to shore prematurely. You have good reasons to be sailing through the rough waters. There’s a special “fish” out there that you need to catch. If you snag it, it will feed you for months—maybe longer.

Homework: Even if you don’t send it, write a letter to the person you admire most. Share it with me at Freewillastrology.com.

For the week of May 31

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Life is in the mood to communicate with you rather lyrically. Here are just a few of the signs and portents that you may encounter, along with theories about their meaning. If you overhear a lullaby, it’s time to seek the influence of a tender, nurturing source. If you see a type of fruit or flower you don’t recognize, it means that you have a buried potential you don’t know much about, and you’re ready to explore it further. If you spy a playing card in an unexpected place, trust serendipity to bring you what you need. If a loud noise arrives near a moment of decision: Traditionally it signifies caution, but these days it suggests that you should be bold.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your body is holy and magic and precious. I advise you not to sell it or rent it or compromise it in any way—especially now, when you have an opening to upgrade your relationship with it. Yes, Taurus, it’s time to attend to your sweet flesh and blood with consummate care. Find out exactly what your amazing organism needs to feel its best. Lavish it with pleasure and healing. Treat it as you would a beloved child or animal. I also hope that you will have intimate conversations with the cells that compose your body. Let them know that you love and appreciate them. Tell them that you’re ready to collaborate on a higher level.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “The most intense moments the universe has ever known are the next 15 seconds,” said philosopher Terence McKenna. He was naming a central principle of reality: That every new NOW is a harvest of everything that has ever happened; every fresh moment is a blast of novelty that arises in response to the sum total of all history’s adventures. This is always true, of course. But I suspect that the phenomenon will be especially pronounced for you in the near future. More than usual, you may find that every day is packed with interesting feelings, poignant fun and epic realizations. This could be pleasurable, but also overwhelming. Luckily, you have the personal power necessary to make good use of the intensity.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Nobody likes to be scrutinized, critiqued or judged. But we Crabs (yes, I’m one of you) are probably touchier about that treatment than any other sign of the zodiac. (Hypersensitivity is a trait that many astrologers ascribe to Cancerians.) However, many of us do allow one particular faultfinder to deride us: The nagging voice in the back of our heads. Sometimes we even give free rein to its barbs. But I would like to propose a transformation of this situation. Maybe we could scold ourselves less, and be a bit more open to constructive feedback coming from other people. Starting now.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The lion’s potency, boldness and majesty are qualities you have a mandate to cultivate in the next three weeks. To get in the righteous mood, I suggest that you gaze upon images and videos of lions. Come up with your own version of a lion’s roar—I mean actually make that sound—and unleash it regularly. You might also want to try the yoga posture known as the lion pose. If you’re unfamiliar with it, go here for tips: Tinyurl.com/lionpose. What else might help you invoke and express the unfettered leonine spirit?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?” French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan posed that question. I invite you to put it at the top of your list of hot topics to meditate on. In doing so, I trust that you won’t use it as an excuse to disparage your companions for their inadequacies. Rather, I hope that it will mobilize you to supercharge your intimate alliances, deepen your awareness of the synergistic beauty you could create together and heighten your ability to be given the universe by those whose fates are interwoven with yours.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): From my study of the lost prophecies of Nostradamus, the hidden chambers beneath the Great Pyramid of Cheops, and the current astrological omens, I have determined that now is a favorable time for you to sing liberation songs with cheeky authority … to kiss the sky and dance with the wind on a beach or hilltop … to gather your most imaginative allies and brainstorm about what you really want to do in the next five years. Do you dare to slip away from business-as-usual so you can play in the enchanted land of what-if? If you’re smart, you will escape the grind and grime of the daily rhythm so you can expand your mind to the next largest size.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “On some hill of despair,” wrote poet Galway Kinnell, “the bonfire you kindle can light the great sky—though it’s true, of course, to make it burn you have to throw yourself in.” You may not exactly feel despair, Scorpio. But I suspect that you are in the throes of an acute questioning that makes you feel close to the edge of forever. Please consider the possibility that it’s a favorable time to find out just how much light and heat are hidden inside you. Your ache for primal fun and your longing to accelerate your soul’s education are converging with your quest to summon a deeper, wilder brilliance.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’re in a phase when you have the power to find answers to questions that have stumped you for a while. Why? Because you’re more open-minded and curious than usual. You’re also ready to be brazenly honest with yourself. Congrats! In light of the fact that you’ll be lucky at solving riddles, I’ve got three good ones for you to wrestle with: 1. Which of your anxieties may actually be cover-ups for a lazy refusal to change a bad habit? 2. What resource will you use more efficiently when you stop trying to make it do things it’s not designed to do? 3. What blessing will you receive as soon as you give a clear signal that you are ready for it?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A typical Capricorn cultivates fervent passions, even to the point of obsession. Almost no one knows their magnitude, though, because the members of your tribe often pursue their fulfillment with methodical, business-like focus. But I wonder if maybe it’s a good time to reveal more of the raw force of this driving energy than you usually do. It might humanize you in the eyes of potential helpers who see you as too strong to need help. And it could motivate your allies to provide the extra support and understanding that you’ll need in the coming weeks.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to carry out a flashy flirtation with the color red. I dare you to wear red clothes and red jewelry. Buy yourself red roses. Sip red wine and savor strawberries under red lights. Sing Elvis Costello’s “The Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes” and Prince’s “Little Red Corvette.” Tell everyone why 2017 is a red-letter year for you. For extra credit, murmur the following motto whenever a splash of red teases and pleases your imagination: “My red-hot passion is my version of high fashion.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “If you want a puppy, start by asking for a pony,” read the bumper sticker on the Lexus SUV I saw. That confused me. Would the owner of a Lexus SUV be the type of person who didn’t expect to get what they really wanted? In any case, Pisces, I’m conveying a version of this bumper-sticker wisdom to you. If you want your domestic scene to thrive even more than it already does, ask for a feng shui master to redesign your environment so it has a perfect flow of energy. If you want a community that activates the best in you, ask for a utopian village full of emotionally intelligent activists. If you want to be animated by a focused goal that motivates you to wake up excited each morning, ask for a glorious assignment that will help save the world.

Your imagination is the single most important asset that you possess. Listen to the podcast: Bit.ly/YourProphecy.

For the week of May 24

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Sin” is a puerile concept in my eyes, so I don’t normally use it to discuss grown-up concerns. But if you give me permission to invoke it in a jokey, ironic way, I’ll recommend that you cultivate more surprising, interesting and original sins. In other words, Aries, it’s high time to get bored with your predictable ways of stirring up a ruckus. Ask God or life to bring you some really evocative mischief that will show you what you’ve been missing and lead you to your next robust learning experience.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Attention, smart shoppers! Here’s a special spring fling offer! For a limited time only, you can get five cutesy oracles for the price of one! And you don’t have to pay a penny unless they all come true! Check ’em out! Oracle No. 1: Should you wait patiently until all of the conditions are absolutely perfect? No! Success comes from loving the mess. Oracle No. 2: Don’t try to stop a sideshow that you’re opposed to. Stage a bigger, better show that overwhelms it. Oracle No. 3: Please, master, don’t be a slave to the things you control. Oracle No. 4: Unto your own self be true? Yes! Unto your own hype be true? No! Oracle No. 5: The tortoise will beat the hare as long as the tortoise doesn’t envy or try to emulate the hare.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Generation Kill is an HBO miniseries based on the experiences of a reporter embedded with American Marines fighting in Iraq. Early on, before the troops have been exposed to any serious combat, they’re overflowing with trash talk. A commanding officer scolds them: “Gentlemen, from now on we’re going to have to earn our stories.” Although you are in a much less volatile situation right now, Gemini, my advice to you is the same: In the coming weeks, you’ll have to earn your stories. You can’t afford to talk big unless you’re geared up to act big, too. You shouldn’t make promises, entertain dares and issue challenges unless you’re fully prepared to be a hero. Now here’s my prophecy: I think you will be a hero.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In your mind’s eye, drift back in time to a turning point in your past that didn’t go the way you’d hoped. But don’t dwell on the disappointment. Instead, change the memory. Visualize yourself then and there, but imagine that you’re in possession of all of the wisdom you have gathered since then. Next, picture an alternative ending to the old story—a finale in which you manage to pull off a much better result. Bask in this transformed state of mind for five minutes. Repeat the whole exercise at least once a day for the next two weeks. It will generate good medicine that will produce a creative breakthrough no later than mid-June.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’re being invited to boost your commitment to life and become a more vivid version of yourself. If you refuse the invitation, it will later return as a challenge. If you avoid that challenge, it will eventually circle back around to you as a demand. So I encourage you to respond now, while it’s still an invitation. To gather the information you’ll need, ask yourself these questions: What types of self-development are you “saving for later?” Are you harboring any mediocre goals or desires that dampen your lust for life? Do you tone down or hold back your ambitions for fear they would hurt or offend people you care about?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Dear Dream Doctor: I dreamed that a crowd of people had decided to break through a locked door using a long, thick wooden plank as a battering ram. The only problem was, I was lying on top of the plank, half-asleep. By the time I realized what was up, the agitated crowd was already at work smashing at the door. Luckily for me, it went well. The door got bashed in and I wasn’t hurt. What does my dream mean?—Nervous Virgo.” Dear Virgo: Here’s my interpretation: It’s time to knock down a barrier, but you’re not convinced that you’re ready or can do it all by yourself. Luckily, there are forces in your life that are conspiring to help make sure you do it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): As long as you keep Syria, South Sudan and North Korea off your itinerary, traveling would be food for your soul during the next 28 days. It would also be balm for your primal worries, medicine for your outworn dogmas and an antidote for your comfortable illusions. Do you have the time and money necessary to make a pilgrimage to a place you regard as holy? How about a jaunt to a rousing sanctuary? Or an excursion to an exotic refuge that will shock you in friendly, healing ways? I hope that you will at least read a book about the territory that you may one day call your home away from home.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): By now I’m sure that you have tuned in to the rumblings in your deep self. Should you be concerned? Maybe a little, but I think the more reasonable attitude is curiosity. Even though the shaking is getting stronger and louder, it’s also becoming more melodic. The power that’s being unleashed will almost certainly turn out to be far more curative than destructive. The light it emits may at first look murky but will eventually bloom like 1,000 moons. Maintain your sweet poise. Keep the graceful faith.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Life is inviting you to decode riddles about togetherness that could boost your emotional intelligence and earn you the right to enjoy lyrical new expressions of intimacy. Will you accept the invitation? Are you willing to transcend your habitual responses for the sake of your growth-inducing relationships? Are you interested in developing a greater capacity for collaboration and synergy? Would you be open to making a vulnerable fool of yourself if it helped your important alliances to fulfill their dormant potential? Be brave and empathetic, Sagittarius. Be creative and humble and affectionate.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “In youth we feel richer for every new illusion,” wrote author Anne Sophie Swetchine. “In maturer years, for every one we lose.” While that may be generally true, I think that even 20-something Capricorns are likely to fall into the latter category in the coming weeks. Whatever your age, I foresee you shouting something akin to, “Hallelujah!” or “Thank God!” or “Boomshakalaka flashbang!” as you purge disempowering fantasies that have kept you in bondage and naive beliefs that have led you astray.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “There are no green thumbs or black thumbs,” wrote horticulturalist Henry Mitchell in a message that you were destined to hear at this exact moment. “There are only gardeners and non-gardeners. Gardeners are the ones who get on with the high defiance of nature herself, creating, in the very face of her chaos and tornado, the bower of roses and the pride of irises. It sounds very well to garden a ‘natural way.’ You may see the natural way in any desert, any swamp or any leech-filled laurel hell. Defiance, on the other hand, is what makes gardeners.” Happy Defiance Time to you, Aquarius! In the coming weeks, I hope that you will express the most determined and disciplined fertility ever!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I believe that it may be the right time to tinker with or repair a foundation, to dig down to the bottom of an old resource and consider transforming it at its roots. Why? After all this time, that foundation or resource needs your fresh attention. It could be lacking a nutrient that has gradually disappeared. Maybe it would flourish better if it got the benefit of the wisdom you have gained since it first became useful for you. Only you have the power to discern the real reasons, Pisces—and they may not be immediately apparent. Be tender and patient and candid as you explore.

Homework: How could you change yourself to get more of the love you want? Testify by going to RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

For the week of May 17

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “A two-year-old kid is like using a blender, but you don’t have a top for it,” said comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Would you like to avoid a scenario like that, Aries? Would you prefer not to see what happens if your life has resemblances to turning on a topless blender that’s full of ingredients? Yes? Then please find the top and put it on! And if you can’t locate the proper top, use a dinner plate or newspaper or pizza box. OK? It’s not too late. Even if the blender is already spewing almond milk, banana fragments and protein powder all over the ceiling. Better late than never!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My pregnant friend Myrna is determined to avoid giving birth via Caesarean section. She believes that the best way for her son to enter the world is by him doing the hard work of squeezing through the narrow birth canal. That struggle will fortify his willpower and mobilize him to summon equally strenuous efforts in response to future challenges. It’s an interesting theory. I suggest that you consider it as you contemplate how you’re going to get yourself reborn.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I invite you to try the following meditation: Picture yourself filling garbage bags with stuff that reminds you of what you used to be and don’t want to be anymore. Add anything that feels like decrepit emotional baggage or that serves as a worn-out psychological crutch. When you’ve gathered up all of the props and accessories that demoralize you, imagine yourself going to a beach where you build a big bonfire and hurl your mess into the flames. As you dance around the conflagration, exorcise the voices in your head that tell you boring stories about yourself. Sing songs that have as much power to relieve and release you as a spectacular orgasm.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In normal times, your guardian animal ally might be the turtle, crab, seahorse or manta ray. But in the next three weeks, it’s the cockroach. This unfairly maligned creature is legendary for its power to thrive in virtually any environment, and I think you will have a similar resourcefulness. Like the cockroach, you will do more than merely cope with awkward adventures and complicated transitions; you will flourish. One caution: It’s possible that your adaptability may bother people who are less flexible and enterprising than you. To keep that from being a problem, be empathetic as you help them adapt. (P.S. Your temporary animal ally is exceptionally well-groomed. Cockroaches clean themselves as much as cats do.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Lady Jane Grey was crowned Queen of England in July 1553, but she ruled for just nine days before being deposed. I invite you to think back to a time in your own past when victory was short-lived. Maybe you accomplished a gratifying feat after an arduous struggle, only to have it quickly eclipsed by a twist of fate. Perhaps you finally made it into the limelight but then lost your audience to a distracting brouhaha. But here’s the good news: Whatever it was—a temporary triumph? Incomplete success? Nullified conquest?—you will soon have a chance to find redemption for it.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While shopping at a funky yard sale, I found the torn-off cover of a book titled You’re a Genius and I Can Prove It! Sadly, the rest of the book was not available. Later I searched for it in online bookstores, and found it was out of-print. That’s unfortunate, because now would be an excellent time for you to peruse a text like this. Why? Because you need specific, detailed evidence of how unique and compelling you are—concrete data that will provide an antidote to your habitual self-doubts and consecrate your growing sense of self-worth. Here’s what I suggest that you do: Write an essay entitled “I’m an Interesting Character and Here’s the Proof.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci wrote a bestiary, an odd little book in which he drew moral conclusions from the behavior of animals. One of his descriptions will be useful for you to contemplate in the near future. It was centered on what he called the “wild ass,” which we might refer to as an undomesticated donkey. Leonardo said that this beast, “going to the fountain to drink and finding the water muddy, is never too thirsty to wait until it becomes clear before satisfying himself.” That’s a useful fable to contemplate, Libra. Be patient as you go in search of what’s pure and clean and good for you. (The translation from the Italian is by Oliver Evans.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): My friend Allie works as a matchmaker. She has an instinctive skill at reading the potential chemistry between people. One of her key strategies is to urge her clients to write mission statements. “What would your ideal marriage look like?” she asks them. Once they have clarified what they want, the process of finding a mate seems to become easier and more fun. In accordance with the astrological omens, Scorpio, I suggest that you try this exercise—even if you are already in a committed relationship. It’s an excellent time to get very specific about the inspired togetherness you’re willing to work hard to create.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In ancient Greek myth, Tiresias was a prophet who could draw useful revelations by interpreting the singing of birds. Spirits of the dead helped him devise his prognostications, too. He was in constant demand for revelations about the future. But his greatest claim to fame was the fact that a goddess magically transformed him into a woman for seven years. After that, he could speak with authority about how both genders experienced the world. This enhanced his wisdom immeasurably, adding to his oracular power. Are you interested in a less drastic but highly educational lesson, Sagittarius? Would you like to see life from a very different perspective from the one you’re accustomed to? It’s available to you if you want it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “You remind me of the parts of myself that I will never have a chance to meet,” writes poet Mariah Gordon-Dyke, addressing a lover. Have you ever felt like saying that to a beloved ally, Capricorn? If so, I have good news: You now have an opportunity to meet and greet parts of yourself that have previously been hidden from you—aspects of your deep soul that up until now you may only have caught glimpses of. Celebrate this homecoming!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I predict that you won’t be bitten by a dog or embarrassed by a stain or pounced on by a lawyer. Nor will you lose your keys or get yelled at by a friend or oversleep for a big appointment. On the contrary! I think you’ll be wise to expect the best. The following events are quite possible: You may be complimented by a person who’s in a position to help you. You could be invited into a place that had previously been off-limits. While eavesdropping, you might pick up a useful clue, and while daydreaming you could recover an important memory you’d lost. Good luck like this is even more likely to sweep into your life if you work on ripening the most immature part of your personality.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Time out. It’s intermission. Give yourself permission to be spacious and slow. Then, when you’re sweetly empty—this may take a few days—seek out experiences that appeal primarily to your wild and tender heart as opposed to your wild and jumpy mind. Just forget about the theories you believe in and the ideas you regard as central to your philosophy of life. Instead, work on developing brisk new approaches to your relationship with your feelings. Like what? Become more conscious of them, for example. Express gratitude for what they teach you. Boost your trust for their power to reveal what your mind sometimes hides from you.

Homework: Imagine what your life would be like if you even partially licked your worst fear. Describe this new world: FreeWillAstrology.com.

For the week of May 10

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The process by which Zoo Jeans are manufactured is unusual. First, workers wrap and secure sheets of denim around car tires or big rubber balls, and take their raw creations to the Kamine Zoo in Hitachi City, Japan. There the denim-swaddled objects are thrown into pits where tigers or lions live. As the beasts roughhouse with their toys, they rip holes in the cloth. Later, the material is retrieved and used to sew the jeans. Might this story prove inspirational for you in the coming weeks? I suspect that it will. Here’s one possibility: You could arrange for something wild to play a role in shaping an influence you will have an intimate connection with.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Kiss the flame and it is yours,” teased the poet Thomas Lux. What do you think he was hinting at? It’s a metaphorical statement, of course. You wouldn’t want to literally thrust your lips and tongue into a fire. But according to my reading of the astrological omens, you might benefit from exploring its meanings. Where to begin? May I suggest you visualize making out with the steady burn at the top of a candle? My sources tell me that doing so at this particular moment in your evolution will help kindle a new source of heat and light in your deep self—a fresh fount of glowing power that will burn sweet and strong like a miniature sun.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your symbol of power during the next three weeks is a key. Visualize it. What picture pops into your imagination? Is it a bejeweled golden key like what might be used to access an old treasure chest? Is it a rustic key for a garden gate or an oversized key for an ornate door? Is it a more modern thing that locks and unlocks car doors with radio waves? Whatever you choose, Gemini, I suggest that you enshrine it as an inspirational image in the back of your mind. Just assume that it will subtly inspire and empower you to find the metaphorical “door” that leads to the next chapter of your life story.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You are free to reveal yourself in your full glory. For once in your life, you have cosmic clearance to ask for everything you want without apology. This is the LATER you have been saving yourself for. Here comes the reward for the hard work you’ve been doing that no one has completely appreciated. If the universe has any prohibitions or inhibitions to impose, I don’t know what they are. If old karma has been preventing the influx of special dispensations and helpful X factors, I suspect that old karma has at least temporarily been neutralized.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions,” said Irish writer Oscar Wilde. “I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” In my opinion, that may be one of the most radical vows ever formulated. Is it even possible for us human beings to gracefully manage our unruly flow of feelings? What you do in the coming weeks could provide evidence that the answer to that question might be yes. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are now in a position to learn more about this high art than ever before.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Africa’s highest mountain is Mount Kilimanjaro. Though it’s near the equator, its peak is covered year-round with glaciers. In 2001, scientists predicted that global warming would melt them all by 2015. But that hasn’t happened. The ice cap is still receding slowly. It could endure for a while, even though it will eventually disappear. Let’s borrow this scenario as a metaphor for your use, Virgo. First, consider the possibility that a certain thaw in your personal sphere isn’t unfolding as quickly as you anticipated. Second, ruminate on the likelihood that it will, however, ultimately come to pass. Third, adjust your plans accordingly.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Will sex be humdrum and predictable in the coming weeks? No! On the contrary. Your interest in wandering out to the frontiers of erotic play could rise quite high. You may be animated and experimental in your approach to intimate communion, whether it’s with another person or with yourself. Need any suggestions? Check out the “butterflies-in-flight” position or the “spinning wheel of roses” maneuver. Try the “hum-and-chuckle kissing dare” or the “churning radiance while riding the rain cloud” move. Or just invent your own variations and give them funny names that add to the adventure.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Right now the word “simplicity” is irrelevant. You’ve got silky profundities to play with, slippery complications to relish and lyrical labyrinths to wander around in. I hope you use these opportunities to tap into more of your subterranean powers. From what I can discern, your deep dark intelligence is ready to provide you with a host of fresh clues about who you really are and where you need to go. P.S. You can become better friends with the shadows without compromising your relationship to the light.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You can bake your shoes in the oven at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, but that won’t turn them into loaves of bread. Know what I’m saying, Sagittarius? Just because a chicken has wings doesn’t mean it can fly over the rainbow. Catch my drift? You’ll never create a silk purse out of dental floss and dead leaves. That’s why I offer you the following advice: In the next two weeks, do your best to avoid paper tigers, red herrings, fool’s gold, fake news, Trojan horses, straw men, pink elephants, convincing pretenders and invisible bridges. There’ll be a reward if you do: Close encounters with shockingly beautiful honesty and authenticity that will be among your most useful blessings of 2017.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Of all of the signs of the zodiac, you Capricorns are the least likely to believe in mythical utopias like Camelot or El Dorado or Shambhala. You tend to be uber-skeptical about the existence of legendary vanished riches like the last Russian czar’s Fabergé eggs or King John’s crown jewels. And yet if wonderlands and treasures like those really do exist, I’m betting that some may soon be discovered by Capricorn explorers. Are there unaccounted-for masterpieces by Georgia O’Keeffe buried in a basement somewhere? Is the score of a lost Mozart symphony tucked away in a seedy antique store? I predict that your tribe will specialize in unearthing forgotten valuables, homing in on secret miracles and locating missing mother lodes.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): According to my lyrical analysis of the astrological omens, here are examples of the kinds of experiences you might encounter in the next 21 days: 1. Interludes that reawaken memories of the first time you fell in love. 2. People who act like helpful, moon-drunk angels just in the nick of time. 3. Healing music or provocative art that stirs a secret part of you—a sweet spot that you had barely been aware of. 4. An urge arising in your curious heart to speak the words, “I invite lost and exiled beauty back into my life.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Ex-baseball player Eric DuBose was pulled over by Florida cops who spotted him driving his car erratically. They required him to submit to a few tests, hoping to determine whether he had consumed too much alcohol. “Can you recite the alphabet?” they asked. “I’m from the great state of Alabama,” DuBose replied, “and they have a different alphabet there.” I suggest, Pisces, that you try similar gambits whenever you find yourself in odd interludes or tricky transitions during the coming days—which I suspect will happen more than usual. Answer the questions you want to answer rather than the ones you’re asked, for example. Make jokes that change the subject. Use the powers of distraction and postponement. You’ll need extra slack, so seize it!

Homework: If you knew you were going to live to age 100, what would you do differently in the next five years? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

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For the week of May 3

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Beware of feeling sorry for sharks that yell for help. Beware of trusting coyotes that act like sheep and sheep that act like coyotes. Beware of nibbling food from jars whose contents are different from what their labels suggest. But wait! “Beware” is not my only message for you. I have these additional announcements: Welcome interlopers if they’re humble and look you in the eyes. Learn all you can from predators and pretenders without imitating them. Take advantage of any change that’s set in motion by agitators who shake up the status quo, even if you don’t like them.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When poet Wislawa Szymborska delivered her speech for winning the Nobel Prize, she said that “whatever else we might think of this world—it is astonishing.” She added that for a poet, there really is no such thing as the “ordinary world,” “ordinary life,” and “the ordinary course of events.” In fact, “Nothing is usual or normal. Not a single stone and not a single cloud above it. Not a single day and not a single night after it. And above all, not a single existence, not anyone’s existence in this world.” I offer you her thoughts, Taurus, because I believe that in the next two weeks you will have an extraordinary potential to feel and act on these truths. You are hereby granted a license to be astonished on a regular basis.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Would you consider enrolling in my Self-Pity Seminar? If so, you would learn that obsessing on self-pity is a means to an end, not a morass to get lost in. You would feel sorry for yourself for brief, intense periods so that you could feel proud and brave the rest of the time. For a given period—let’s say three days—you would indulge and indulge and indulge in self-pity until you entirely exhausted that emotion. Then you’d be free to engage in an orgy of self-healing, self-nurturing and self-celebration. Ready to get started? Ruminate about the ways that people don’t fully appreciate you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In a typical conversation, most of us utter too many “uhs,” “likes,” “I means” and “you knows.” I mean, I’m sure that … uh … you’ll agree that, like, what’s the purpose of, you know, all that pointless noise? But I have some good news to deliver about your personal use of language in the coming weeks, Cancerian. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’ll have the potential to dramatically lower your reliance on needless filler. But wait, there’s more: Clear thinking and precise speech just might be your superpowers. As a result, your powers of persuasion should intensify. Your ability to advocate for your favorite causes may zoom.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1668, England named John Dryden its first Poet Laureate. His literary influence was so monumental that the era in which he published was known as the Age of Dryden. Twentieth-century poetry great T. S. Eliot said he was “the ancestor of nearly all that is best in the poetry of the eighteenth century.” Curiously, Dryden had a low opinion of Shakespeare. “Scarcely intelligible,” he called the Bard, adding, “His whole style is so pestered with figurative expressions that it is as affected as it is coarse.” I foresee a comparable clash of titans in your sphere, Leo. Two major influences may fight it out for supremacy. One embodiment of beauty may be in competition with another. One powerful and persuasive force could oppose another. What will your role be? Mediator? Judge? Neutral observer? Whatever it is, be cagey.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Just this once, and for a limited time only, you have cosmic clearance to load up on sugary treats, leave an empty beer can in the woods, watch stupid TV shows and act uncool in front of the Beautiful People. Why? Because being totally well-behaved, perfectly composed and strictly pure would compromise your mental health more than being naughty. Besides, if you want to figure out what you are on the road to becoming, you will need to know more about what you’re not.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In addition to fashion tips, advice for the broken-hearted, midlife-crisis support and career counseling, I sometimes provide you with more mystical help. Like now. So if you need nuts-and-bolts guidance, I hope that you’ll have the sense to read a more down-to-earth horoscope. What I want to tell you is that the metaphor of resurrection is your featured theme. You should assume that it’s somehow the answer to every question. Rejoice in the knowledge that although a part of you has died, it will be reborn in a fresh guise.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Are you ready for the genie’s favors? Don’t rub the magic lamp unless you are.” That’s the message I saw on an Instagram meme. I immediately thought of you. The truth is that up until recently, you have not been fully prepared for the useful but demanding gifts the genie could offer you. You haven’t had the self-mastery necessary to use the gifts as they’re meant to be used, and therefore they were a bit dangerous to you. But that situation has changed. Although you may still not be fully primed, you’re as ready as you can be. That’s why I say: RUB THE MAGIC LAMP!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You may have heard the exhortation, “Follow your bliss,” which was popularized by mythologist Joseph Campbell. After studying the archetypal stories of many cultures throughout history, he concluded that it was the most important principle driving the success of most heroes. Here’s another way to say it: Identify the job or activity that deeply excites you, and find a way to make it the center of your life. In his later years, Campbell worried that too many people had misinterpreted “Follow your bliss” to mean “Do what comes easily.” That’s all wrong, he said. Anything worth doing takes work and struggle. “Maybe I should have said, ‘Follow your blisters,’” he said with a laugh. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because you are now in an intense “Follow your blisters” phase of following your bliss.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The versatile artist Melvin Van Peebles has enjoyed working as a filmmaker, screenwriter, actor, composer and novelist. One of his more recent efforts was a collaboration with the experimental band The Heliocentrics. Together they created a science-fiction-themed spoken-word poetry album titled The Last Transmission. Peebles told NPR, “I haven’t had so much fun with clothes on in years.” If I’m reading the planetary omens correctly Capricorn, you’re either experiencing that level of fun, or will soon be doing so.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In what ways do you most resemble your mother? Now is a good time to take inventory. Once you identify any mom-like qualities that tend to limit your freedom or lead you away from your dreams, devise a plan to transform them. You may never be able to defuse them entirely, but there’s a lot you can do to minimize the mischief they cause. Be calm but calculating in setting your intention, Aquarius! P.S. In the course of your inventory, you may also find that there are ways you are like your mother that are of great value to you. Is there anything you could do to more fully develop their potential?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “We are what we imagine,” writes Piscean author N. Scott Momaday. “Our very existence consists in our imagination of ourselves. Our best destiny is to imagine . . . who and what we are. The greatest tragedy that can befall us is to go unimagined.” Let’s make this passage your inspirational keynote for the coming weeks. It’s a perfect time to realize how much power you have to create yourself through the intelligent and purposeful use of your vivid imagination. (P.S. Here’s a further tip, this time from Cher: “All of us invent ourselves. Some of us just have more imagination than others.”)

Homework: Which of your dead ancestors would you most like to talk to? Imagine a conversation with one of them. Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

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For the week of April 26

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I have misgivings when I witness bears riding bicycles, tigers dancing on their hind legs or Aries people wielding diplomatic phrases and making careful compromises at committee meetings. While I am impressed by the disciplined expression of primal power, I worry for the soul of the creature that is behaving with such civilized restraint. Take advantage of opportunities to make deals and forge win-win situations. But also keep a part of your fiery heart untamed. Don’t let people think they’ve got you all figured out.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “One of the advantages of being disorderly,” said author A. A. Milne, “is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” I wouldn’t normally offer this idea as advice to a methodical dynamo like you. But my interpretation of the astrological omens compels me to override my personal theories about what you need. I must suggest that you consider experimenting with jaunty, rambunctious behavior in the coming days, even if it generates some disorder. The potential reward? Exciting discoveries, of course.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): According to my reading of the astrological omens, it’s time for you to take a break from the magic you have been weaving since your birthday in 2016. That’s why I’m suggesting that you go on a brief sabbatical. Allow your deep mind to fully integrate the lessons you’ve been learning and the transformations you have undergone over the past 11 months. In a few weeks, you’ll be ready to resume where you left off. For now, though, you require breathing room. Your spiritual batteries need time to recharge. The hard work you’ve done should be balanced by an extended regimen of relaxed playtime.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Apparently, a lot of kids in the U.K. don’t like to eat vegetables. In response, food researchers in that country marketed a variety of exotic variations designed to appeal to their palate. The new dishes included chocolate-flavored carrots, pizza-flavored corn and cheese-and-onion-flavored cauliflower. I don’t recommend that you get quite so extreme in trying to broaden your own appeal, Cancerian. But see if you can at least reach out to your potential constituency with a new wrinkle or fresh twist. Be imaginative as you expand the range of what your colleagues and clientele have to choose from.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In speaking about the arduous quest to become one’s authentic self, writer Thomas Merton used the example of poets who aspire to be original but end up being imitative. “Many poets never succeed in being themselves,” he said. “They never get around to being the particular poet they are intended to be by God. They never become the person or artist who is called for by all of the circumstances of their individual lives. They waste their years in vain efforts to be some other poet. They wear out their minds and bodies in a hopeless endeavor to have somebody else’s experiences or write somebody else’s poems.” I happen to believe that this is a problem for non-poets, as well. Many of us never succeed in becoming ourselves. Luckily for you, Leo, in the coming weeks and months you will have an unprecedented chance to become more of who you really are.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): On numerous occasions, French acrobat Charles Blondin walked across a tightrope that spanned the gorge near Niagara Falls. His cable was 3 ¼ inches in diameter, 1,100 feet long and 160 feet above the Niagara River. Once he made the entire crossing by doing back flips and somersaults. Another time he carried a small stove on his back, stopped midway to cook an omelet and ate the meal before finishing. Now would be an excellent time for you to carry out your personal equivalent of his feats, Virgo. What daring actions have you never tried before even though you’ve been sufficiently trained or educated to perform them well?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Ready for some subterranean journeys? They may not involve literal explorations of deep caverns and ancient tunnels and underground streams. You may not stumble upon lost treasure, forgotten artifacts and valuable ruins. But then again, you might. At the very least, you will encounter metaphorical versions of some of the above. What mysteries would you love to solve? What secrets would be fun to uncover? What shadows would you be excited to illuminate?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Why would you guzzle mind-clouding moonshine when you will eventually get a chance to sip a heart-reviving tonic? Why spoil your appetite by loading up on non-nutritious hors d’oeuvres when a healthy feast will be available sooner than you imagine? I advise you to suppress your compulsion for immediate gratification. It may seem impossible for you to summon such heroic patience, but I know you can. And in the long run, you’ll be happy if you do.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “You’ll always be my favorite what-if.” Many years ago, I heard that phrase whispered in my ear. It came from the mouth of a wonderful-but-impossible woman. We had just decided that it was not a good plan, as we had previously fantasized, to run away and get married at Angkor Wat in Cambodia and then spend the next decade being tour guides who led travelers on exotic getaways to the world’s sacred sites. “You’ll always be my favorite what-if” was a poignant but liberating moment. It allowed us to move on with our lives and pursue other dreams that were more realistic and productive. I invite you to consider triggering a liberation like that sometime soon.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’d love to see you increase the number of people, places and experiences you love, as well as the wise intensity with which you love them. From an astrological perspective, now is an excellent time to upgrade your appreciation and adoration for the whole world and everything in it. To get you in the mood, I’ll call your attention to some unfamiliar forms of ardor you may want to pursue: Eraunophilia, an attraction to thunder and lightning; cymophilia, a fascination with waves and waviness; chorophilia, a passion for dancing; asymmetrophilia, a zeal for asymmetrical things; sapiophilia, an erotic enchantment with intelligence.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You could go online and buy an antique Gothic throne or a psychedelic hippie couch to spruce up your living room. For your bathroom, you could get a Japanese “wonder toilet,” complete with a heated seat, automated bidet and white noise generator. Here’s another good idea: You could build a sacred crazy altar in your bedroom where you will conduct rituals of playful liberation. Or how about this? Acquire a kit that enables you to create spontaneous poetry on your refrigerator door using tiny magnets with evocative words written on them. Can you think of other ideas to revitalize your home environment? It’s high time you did so.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Among America’s 50 states, Texas has the third-highest rate of teenage pregnancies. Uncoincidentally, sex education in Texas is steeped in ignorance. Most of its high schools offer no teaching about contraception other than to advise students to avoid sex. In the coming weeks, Pisces, you can’t afford to be as deprived of the truth as those kids. Even more than usual, you need accurate information that’s tailored to your precise needs, not fake news, ideological delusions or self-serving propaganda. Make sure that you gather insight and wisdom from the very best sources. That’s how you’ll avoid behavior that’s irrelevant to your life goals. That’s how you’ll attract experiences that serve your highest good.

Homework: What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever done? Testify! Go to Realastrology.com and click on “Email Rob.”

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For the week of April 19

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): After George Washington was elected as the first president of the United States, he had to move from his home in Virginia to New York City, which at the time was the center of the American government. But there was a problem: He didn’t have enough cash on hand to pay for his long-distance relocation, so he was forced to scrape up a loan. Fortunately, he was resourceful and persistent in doing so. The money arrived in time for him to attend his own inauguration. I urge you to be like Washington in the coming weeks, Aries. Do whatever’s necessary to get the funds you need to finance your life’s next chapter.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Fantasize about sipping pear nectar and listening to cello music and inhaling the aroma of musky amber and caressing velvet, cashmere, and silk. Imagine how it would feel to be healed by inspiring memories and sweet awakenings and shimmering delights and delicious epiphanies. I expect experiences like these to be extra available in the coming weeks. But they won’t necessarily come to you freely and easily. You will have to expend effort to ensure they actually occur. So be alert for them. Seek them out. Track them down.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Contagion may work in your favor, but it could also undermine you. On the one hand, your enthusiasm is likely to ripple out and inspire people whose help you could use. On the other hand, you might be more sensitive than usual to the obnoxious vibes of manipulators. But now that I’ve revealed this useful tip, let’s hope you will be able to maximize the positive kind of contagion and neutralize the negative. Here’s one suggestion that may help: Visualize yourself to be surrounded by a golden force field that projects your good ideas far and wide even as it prevents the disagreeable stuff from leaking in.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A reader named Kris X sent me a rebuke. “You’re not a guru or a shaman,” he sneered. “Your horoscopes are too filled with the slippery stench of poetry to be useful for spiritual seekers.” Here’s my response: “Thank you, sir! I don’t consider myself a guru or shaman, either. It’s not my mission to be an all-knowing authority who hands down foolproof advice. Rather, I’m an apprentice to the Muse of Curiosity. I like to wrestle with useful, beautiful paradoxes. My goal is to be a joyful rebel stirring up benevolent trouble, to be a cheerleader for the creative imagination.” So now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian: How do you avoid getting trapped in molds that people pressure you to fit inside? Are you skilled at being yourself even if that’s different from what’s expected of you? What are the soulful roles you choose to embody despite the fact that almost no one understands them? Now is a good time to meditate on these matters.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the coming weeks, there will be helpers whose actions will nudge you—sometimes inadvertently—toward a higher level of professionalism. You will find it natural to wield more power and you will be more effective in offering your unique gifts. Now maybe you imagine you have already been performing at the peak of your ability, but I bet you will discover—with a mix of alarm and excitement—that you can become even more excellent. Be greater, Leo! Do better! Live stronger! (P.S. As you ascend to this new level of competence, I advise you to be humbly aware of your weaknesses and immaturities. As your clout rises, you can’t afford to indulge in self-delusions.)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I love to see you Virgos flirt with the uncharted and the uncanny and the indescribable. I get thrills and chills whenever I watch your fine mind trying to make sense of the fabulous and the foreign and the unfathomable. What other sign can cozy up to exotic wonders and explore forbidden zones with as much no-nonsense pragmatism as you? If anyone can capture greased lightning in a bottle or get a hold of magic beans that actually work, you can.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A friend told me about a trick used by his grandmother, a farmer. When her brooding hens stopped laying eggs, she would put them in pillowcases that she then hung from a clothesline in a stiff breeze. After the hens got blown around for a while, she returned them to their cozy digs. The experience didn’t hurt them, and she swore it put them back on track with their egg-laying. I’m not comfortable with this strategy. It’s too extreme for an animal-lover like myself. (And I’m glad I don’t have to deal with recalcitrant hens.) But maybe it’s an apt metaphor or poetic prod for your use right now. What could you do to stimulate your own creative production?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now would be an excellent time to add deft new nuances to the ways you kiss, lick, hug, snuggle, caress and fondle. Is there a worthy adventurer who will help you experiment with these activities? If not, use your pillow, your own body, a realistic life-size robot, or your imagination. This exercise will be a good warm-up for your other assignment, which is to upgrade your intimacy skills. How might you do that? Hone and refine your abilities to get close to people. Listen deeper, collaborate stronger, compromise smarter and give more. Do you have any other ideas?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “If I had nine hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first six sharpening my ax,” said Abraham Lincoln, one of America’s most productive presidents. I know you Sagittarians are more renowned for your bold, improvisational actions than your careful planning and strategic preparation, but I think the coming weeks will be a time when you can and should adopt Lincoln’s approach. The readier you are, the freer you’ll be to apply your skills effectively and wield your power precisely.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Zoologists say that cannibalizing offspring is common in the animal kingdom, even among species that care tenderly for their young. So when critters eat their kids, it’s definitely “natural.” But I trust that in the coming weeks, you won’t devour your own children. Nor, I hope, will you engage in any behavior that metaphorically resembles such an act. I suspect that you may be at a low ebb in your relationship with some creation or handiwork or influence that you generated out of love. But please don’t abolish it, dissolve it or abandon it. Just the opposite. In fact, intensify your efforts to nurture it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your astrological house of communication will be the scene of substantial clamor and ruckus in the coming weeks. A bit of the hubbub will be flashy but empty. But much of it should be pretty interesting, and some of it will even be useful. To get the best possible results, be patient and objective rather than jumpy and reactive. Try to find the deep codes buried inside the mixed messages. Discern the hidden meanings lurking within the tall tales and reckless gossip. If you can deal calmly with the turbulent flow, you will give your social circle a valuable gift.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The best oracular advice you’ll get in the coming days probably won’t arise from your dreams or an astrological reading or a session with a psychic, but rather by way of seemingly random signals, like an overheard conversation or a sign on the side of a bus or a scrap of paper you find lying on the ground. And I bet the most useful relationship guidance you receive won’t be from an expert, but maybe from a blog you stumble upon or a barista at a café or one of your old journal entries. Be alert for other ways this theme is operating, as well. The usual sources may not have useful info about their specialties. Your assignment is to gather up accidental inspiration and unlikely teachings.

Homework: At least 30 percent of everything you and I know is more than half-wrong. Are you brave enough to admit it? Describe your ignorance at FreeWillastrology.com.



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