Best Salon To Recite ‘Pirates of the Carribean’ Quotes to Yourself While Getting a Brazilian

Honeygirl in Mill ValleyNo matter how you slice it, getting a wax is damn painful. And if you go to the wrong place, it can quickly turn into full-blown agony. But in the right spot—namely, Honeygirl in Mill Valley, you can get the wax you need for your next pool sesh from a truly exceptional esthetician, and it’s as close to painless as you can get without canceling the appointment. Honeygirl’s creator, Liana Belli, brings easy vibes and an extremely capable staff to all your  hair-removal needs, and I have a pro tip for you if, despite everything, those final couple pulls threaten to take you over the edge: Remember Captain Barbossa’s monologue in the first Pirates of the Carribean movie? “I feel nothing … not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea … nor the warmth of a woman’s flesh …” Whoa. Dead serious, if you just get this going in your head—and be sure it’s in the Barbossa voice—you’ll pirate captain your way through the pain. What pain? You feel nothing …

Daedalus Howell
Daedalus Howell is the editor of the North Bay Bohemian and Pacific Sun. He is the author, most recently, of Quantum Deadline and is the writer-director of the feature film Pill Head.
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