Horoscope: What’s Your Sign?

by Leona Moon

ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Yep, Aries, there is something that’s been tighter than that pair of raggedy ’70s bellbottoms that you refuse to throw away—your money! The new moon on May 18 will provide you with the green light to ask for (and you shall receive) a raise. Think of all of the extra Chipotle burritos you can splurge on.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) Tell your friends to pay up, Taurus! You may have been the lone ranger bidding on Mayweather during the “fight of the century,” but you still haven’t collected your dividends. Some of your nearest and dearest owe you a few checks. It’s never easy asking friends for money, but if you really want HBO Go to watch the second half of Game of Thrones, you’ll get over it.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) It’s time to get in shape, Gemini! Are you tired of cropping your beer belly out of all of your Instagrams? And, no, there isn’t a filter that can hide cellulite. Get yourself to the gym! It’s been on your “to do” list for 52 weeks too long. You won’t believe the difference a few leg lifts and Zumba classes will make.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22) Get to the water, Cancer! You’re overdue for a fresh water paradise, watery one. A little R&R with a jet ski is calling your name on May 16. Nothing says reasonable and relaxed like speeding on a lake at maximum speed. This weekend is designed for letting go of your senses. Just dive in head first, literally, and book a bungee jumping appointment while you’re at it.

LEO (July 23 – Aug. 22) Hit rewind, Leo! Your house of professional goals and achievements has been on fire, but Mercury is about to go retrograde on May 18. This planetary reversal won’t reunite you with past lovers or friends, but rather an old CEO with whom you may have lost touch. Reach out to an old boss about potential work on a project-by-project basis.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) You’ve got a blind date planned for May 18, Virgo; you’re not fooling anyone with that “working late” business anymore. Enjoy your privacy if you must, but keep in mind that the new moon in Taurus will arrive with some roadblocks—aka family matters. Tell your sister to lose your number on Monday; otherwise she’ll be calling with a handful of headaches.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) Kind of regretting linking your bank account with your significant other, Libra? Your house of joint finances, be it with a beau or a business partner, will bring you grief on May 18. The new moon is here to stir things up. Try to keep the accusatory statements to a minimum if you want to avoid a cameo on Judge Judy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) Whatever happened to your first kiss from sixth grade, Scorpio? Your former star-crossed lover has been waiting for you to add him or her on Facebook! All these years have gone by, and it’s remarkable that you’re finally ready to be cyberly and celestially reunited. With Mercury in retrograde on May 18, there’s no better time to click “add,” and take your former flame on a date.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Who knew feng shui could sound so sexy, Sagittarius? Get ready to redo your love nest on May 16. A little décor goes a long way—first impressions are critical. You don’t want the first Tinder date that you actually like to walk into your home while it’s adorned with Pabst beer cans and trashy Budweiser posters. Pencil in an IKEA visit ASAP.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Romance is in the air (and will be charged on your credit card) this weekend, Capricorn! Try a little getaway for two. Consider floating up the Russian River or visiting a vineyard. You’re trying to impress here, and there’s nothing like keeping it au naturel. Try to think on the scale of, “What would impress a National Geographic photographer?”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Does your landlord want you out, Aquarius? Something fishy is going on at home—and on May 18, the new moon in Taurus will light up brightly, bringing all things home-related to the forefront. Maybe your new roommate turned out to be a serial killer, or worse—a serial dater. If you want him or her out, now’s the time to make the decision.

PISCES (Feb. 19 – March 20) Get ready for your debut, Pisces! You’ve got a big presentation coming up on May 18. All eyes and ears will be on you. Drop the goldfish mentality and give it your all. If you rehearse, chances are you’ll come off as if you know exactly what you’re talking about

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