.Letter: ‘After reading these Headlines, I’d wonder …’

‘New Genius On Scene’—a poem

G.M. Billy Beane’s deadline blunder

Rent Money Ball, his A’s asunder.

Now new genius on scene

Is across the Bay seen;

Brian Sabean stole Beane’s thunder.


Read in Bardball: Revived Dogg’rel Arts,

Poem I posted when Off-Season starts,

Used “New Genius” as lead

New poem Hot Stove conceived

To revive Jints Fans’, “Down-Daubered Hearts.”


Wrote “New Genius” in Post-Series wake

Of third flag in five years Giants make;

Year Money Ball blundered,

When Baseball World wondered,

“Why did “Genius” Beane make trade mistake?”

Thrice-Crowned Giants Hot Stove Headlines Made:

“Can’t Lure Ace, Cuban”; “Morse, Panda Strayed,”

Billy Beane ‘cross the Bay

Headlines: “More Deals Today,”

“East Bay G.M.’s Genius Is Displayed”.


Also: “Sabean’s Sad Serenade:

Can’t Lure Free Agents, Shoots Blanks in Trade.”

“New-Earned Bragging Rights Might

Fade by Opening Night,”

“G.M. Genius has Jints Fans Dismayed.”


Then: “Giant’s Deal Once More Upstaged”

“Latest Failure of Champs to Upgrade”

“Sabean’s Crown, Fair-Won,

Tarnished,” “A’s Trade-Wheel Spun,”

“Beane Trumps Jints: Gain Ray’s Zobrist in Trade.”


Latest headlines suggest, “Though Dues Paid,

New-Crowned Sabean Can’t Get Deal Made,”

“Expectations Let Down,

Pricked By Thorn-Covered Crown,”

“New-Crowned Genius by Deposed Out-played.”


After reading these Headlines, I’d wonder,

Did poem I wrote weeks before blunder?

In “New Genius on Scene,”

Claimed Crown won fair from Beane,

But, Off-Season’s Billy Beane’s Thunder.


Still, despite Jint’s fans Hot Stove Derision

Sabean made sound decision,

No more bloated contracts

Like “Most-Courted” attracts,

Mid-levels reload team’s revision.


Though fans, big slugger, are itching,

They might as well stop all their bitching,

Sabean rather find,

Hurlers like he past signed,

Bargain Arms to bolster teams’ pitching


Giants fans have enough evidence

Of G.M.’s savvy-good baseball sense;

It’s not Hot Stove “Play Ball,”

But World Series “Last Call,”

That determines Champs’ Title defense.


I’m St. Louis born, Cards fan since Stan

Heard Flatbush Bums moan, “Here comes dat Man!”

Three-plus decades root hard

For Cards in Jints’ Home Yard;

Since Timmy, I’m a Dual-Franchise fan.


Giants-Cards: I can’ lose either way;

Three Jints crown’s; six from Card’s Series play;

In Five decades since first,

Five more won, five, I cursed,



This past Off-Season Giant’s wore Crown,

I told Jint’s fans, “No reason to frown,

Just relax, Man, like Stan,

Trust Brian Sabean;

Don’t let Hum Baby or Dauber down.”


Elliott Kolker, Stinson Beach

Pacific Sun
The Pacific Sun publishes every Wednesday, delivering 21,000 copies to 520 locations throughout Marin County.


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