ARIES (March 21 – April 19) What’s the first rule of Fight Club, Aries? Don’t talk about Fight Club. The second rule? Don’t talk about the Ram! Your blood will be broiling on March 11—I feel bad for whoever has to sit next to you on Golden Gate Transit. Invest in a stress ball and maybe a phone app that makes ocean sounds and whale calls.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) Time to let it go, Taurus? Is your significant other still mixing in your whites with colors on laundry day? Unfortunately, the stars are here to say that that isn’t going to change any time soon. Some celestial tension might cause you to be extra particular on March 12. It’s always great to pay close attention, but does your partner really need an extra set of eyes while changing the Brita filter? Chill out.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) It’s time to get a little closer with someone special, Gemini. No, collecting dates’ names before spending a fun-filled evening and courtesy walk of shame doesn’t count as intimate. Pluto and Uranus are teaming up for an emotional showdown that will push you in a direction that allows you to let your guard down.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22) You’re up to bat, Cancer! Did you find yourself in a new position of leadership? Humble is a good look for you. You’ve earned your new spot for a reason and your team appreciates your newfound considerate disposition. Hit a home run on March 12 and plan a team-building retreat. Can you say bowling and beer?
LEO (July 23 – Aug. 22) Pack your bags, Leo! No, you’re not getting kicked out—you’re getting out of town. You’ve been seeking a little adventure, and on March 12 you will receive the golden ticket. It may not be the destination you dreamed of, but have you ever heard of business trips taking place in Cabo? Just enjoy the free meals!
VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) Feel like you need to head in a new direction, Virgo? It’s understandable—you’ve been stuck in the middle lately. Take the focus off of others and redirect it to yourself. Answers to a long-awaited (and potentially avoided) question will appear on March 10. Yep, you might be getting dumped.
LIBRA (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) Never think you could get sick of your kids, Libra? The time has come! Family drama is at an all-time high, and you could say that you’re over it. Of course, you love your little ones (or parental figures—for those Librans sans offspring) unconditionally, but you don’t have to support them through everything—like becoming skydiving-certified.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) Feeling under the weather, Scorpio? Don’t worry—that’s nothing a little Airborne and green tea can’t fix. Health is a new priority for you—you can kiss your latest episode of Ebola goodbye. Juicing is a good look for you—keep up the hard work. Your self-esteem, your partner and your assets will appreciate it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Were you an extra on the new season of House of Cards, Sagittarius? Well, someone who looks like you sure was. Get ready to get recognized—it’s your big break, or your 15 minutes of fame—whichever you prefer. This celestial lineup is here to help you go viral if you so choose. Take time to craft a stage name on March 7.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Feeling more than a little emotional, Capricorn? Not that you haven’t been doing a great job of playing it cool, but the pile of tissues amassing in your cubicle gave you away. It’s OK to cry. Your fourth house of emotions is here to offer a reminder that A Walk to Remember makes even the bravest Capricorns turn into a puddle of tears.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Take a swing, Aquarius! A mood swing that is! This planetary mash-up is causing a ruckus for even the calmest of signs, so don’t feel shocked that a restless soul like yourself might have some ups-and-downs starting March 11. The key here: You’re allowed to feel however you want. As long as you don’t commit a crime, it’s fine.
PISCES (Feb. 19 – March 20) Put it in the bank, Pisces! Have you been going on a spending spree again on your lunch break? It’s time to dig deep and develop a savings plan on March 9. Think about it—do you really need those red-and-white-striped sailor shoes from Walgreens?