Shaft’s Big Burn

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Shaft is supposed to be about a black private dick, not a shtick about his privates. This catastrophicreboot insists that we won’t know NYC detective John Shaft is a bad m.f. unless he talks about his dick every six seconds. 

Barbershop excepted, director Tim Story has never made anything like a good movie. He’s studied the inside of Kevin Hart’s howling mouth in two Ride Along pictures (the third is due presently), and helmed two dismal Fantastic Four opuses (2005, 2007). Here he’s re-rebooting a super-detective franchise of the 1970s starring the imposing Richard Roundtree, successfully redone by the late John Singleton in 2000 with Samuel L. Jackson in the lead. Detective movies take care of themselves; Jackson tooling around listening to sweet soul music in a big Chrysler is almost a movie on its own. Instead, this is a lot of awkward bonding: the old detective getting his son to nut up and be macho.

The imam of a sinister Harlem mosque may be responsible for the OD of a friend of Shaft’s estranged son. Son JJ (Jessie Usher) is a plaid-wearing Urkel, an FBI data analyst, the kind of Ivy Leaguer who has a pair of crossed lacrosse sticks over his bed.

Story’s direction has the rhythms of bad TV, those shows that presume you’re distracted—the plot beats explained as if by PowerPoint presentation, underscoring clues you couldn’t miss if you were three-quarters drunk and playing around with the dog on the couch. The easily solved mystery unfolds in textureless cityscapes.  

Apart from JJ’s girlfriend Sasha (Alexandra Shipp) and mom (the great Regina Hall of Support the Girls) Shaft is a movie where the women are either strippers or club girls.

Samuel L. Jackson is entitled to every dollar he can get. The hardest working and best paid movie star alive withstands moments like his fatherly advice to JJ about how to deal with Sasha: “Tear that ass up.” He’ll survive. Whether this kind of banal sadism is the best use of his ever-dwindling time is another matter.

‘Shaft opens Friday, June 14, in wide release.

I Can’t Go There

BTom Gogola used great fortitude in maintaining objectivity as he described the tightrope straddled by Republican Fred Schein in a substantial article “Log Cabin Fervor”  (May 29, 2019) Earlier, Schein admits, “it is lonely being a Gay Republican.”

Curiosity held my attention as I try to understand the seeming contradiction. Humm. Schein touched on Republican supported economic needs of small business and boasts of Young Republicans; college students at Berkeley, Davis and Sonoma State, saying: “they can shoot.”

I read with a nondiscrimination effort the difference between Democrats and Republicans while I process the current strangeness of our country in the hands of a showman. I appreciate that we should all be treated equal and Schein’s effort is heartfelt, but I cannot cross the party chasm.

Penny Hansen
Novato

More to See

I like downtown Novato, too (“Civic Cutie,” May 29, 2019). Check out the new Open Cures at 823 B Grant and the Friends of the Marin County Free Library’s Book Place at 1608 Grant Avenue.

Diane Rosenberger
Via PacificSun.com

Stop it, Please

I read in the SF Chronicle the Trump Administration plans to allow medical staff in the nation to deny treatment to lesbians, gays, bisexual or transgender patients because of religious or moral beliefs held by the health care workers; thus allowing doctors, nurses, ambulance drivers, emergency medical technicians, even receptionists to deny care. I thought of my late wonderful lesbian cousin, Denise, who lived in a rural county whose only hospital was religious based, and I wonder if they would have helped her with her ovarian cancer.

So, I turned immediately to Stevie Wonder vinyl and his 1976 “Songs in the Key of Life,”’ put on side one, cut one and listened to:

“Good morn or evening fiends

Here’s your friendly announcer

I have serious news to pass on to every-body

Could mean the world’s disaster

Could change your joy laughter to tears and pain.

“It’s that

Love’s in need of love today

Don’t delay

Send yours in right away

Hate’s goin’ round

Breaking many hearts

Stop it please

Before it’s gone too far.”

That’s only the first few bars in this remarkable song and album. One wonders how cruel Trump and his staff are willing to go—my bad, we’ve already seen that in their taking babies from refugee parents while sending the parents back to Central America and keeping their children here in cages.

Robert D. Bock
San Rafael 

The Path

West Marin writer and mentor Anne Cushman has been a staple of the North Bay mindfulness community for 30 years, primarily as a member of the Teachers’ Council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodcare, and as a private yoga and meditation teacher and mentor for other educators.

She’s also one of the most established voices in the meditation community as a former longtime editor for Yoga Journal and other publications; and as an author, publishing guides and novels such as From Here to Nirvana (1998) and Enlightenment for Idiots (2008).

“My life took root here,” says Cushman, who moved to Marin in 1989. “It seems to be the epicenter of so many things I am interested in. I have a strong community and work that I love.”

For the last two decades, Cushman has also been a mother, and that part of her life is illuminated in her newly published memoir, The Mama Sutra, which Cushman reads from on Saturday, June 15, at Book Passage in Corte Madera.

“Motherhood is like meditation and yoga in that it brings us into an immediate and visceral connection with the most mysterious aspects of human life,” says Cushman. “And it’s also very common, a fundamental human experience that is so ordinary and so mysterious at the same time.”

Her book chronicles a path of motherhood that is filled with both love and loss, from Cushman’s first pregnancy and her daughter’s tragic stillbirth, to the birth of her son and the challenges and gifts of his developmental differences.

The stories told in The Mama Sutra were culled from years of note taking and journaling about motherhood that Cushman began writing early on.

“When I got pregnant, it occurred to me that the journey into and through motherhood could be considered a kind of pilgrimage,” says Cushman. “And as a writer, I thought I would take notes on that journey just as when I traveled.”

By using details from specific conversations and events that took place over Cushman’s journey of motherhood..

“I think it’s struck a chord with women in terms of honoring the full range of experience that happens as a mother,” says Cushman. “And looking at it as a path of transformation in a conscious way.”

Anne Cushman reads and appears in conversation with Mariana Caplan on Saturday, June 15, at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera. 11am. Free. 415.927.0960.

Notorious Fun

At the historic Barn Theatre through June 16, Ross Valley Players presents the wildly entertaining Incidents in the Wicked Life of Moll Flanders, adapted by Jennifer Le Blanc from Daniel Defoe’s 1722 novel and purportedly based on true events. It’s a delicious, R-rated romp through the streets of Victorian England and colonial America, related as a first-person memoir by one of the most alluring, audacious and notorious heroines in all of classic literature.

Born to a felon in London’s Newgate Prison, Moll Flanders enters the world with little to rely on but her own resourcefulness, beauty and feminine wiles. Determined to secure a comfortable life, she manages to elevate herself through often-unscrupulous means. Her adventures span five husbands—including one who turns out to be her brother—and countless abandoned children, scandalous affairs, prostitution and thievery and a series of narrow escapes. Just when it seems her luck has finally run out, a last-minute death-row pardon saves the day, and Moll’s story ends, despite all odds, a rather happy one.

Amber Collins Crane takes a captivating turn in the leading role, bringing a legendary free spirit to life with endearing candor, charisma and playful charm, and narrating the approximately two-hour-long show in a near-perfect accent with unfaltering energy. Her dynamic performance is bolstered by a strong ensemble, with each of the dozen actors but Crane cast in multiple roles.

Memorable among them are Stephen Dietz as the cuckolded banker, Carolyn Beach as long-lost Mother and Jack Clendenen as the young playboy who first wins and breaks Moll’s heart. The others are very good, too, juggling numerous character changes on a crowded stage with impressive stamina and credibility. Robert Molossi stands out as the dashing Jemy, in whom perhaps Moll finds her perfect match. Their reciprocal deception and protracted romance are exciting to watch unfold.

Director Ellen Brooks keeps the pace moving, aided by the versatility of Ron Krempetz’s uncomplicated set and Michael A. Berg’s creative costumes. Effective lighting (also credited to Brooks) and skillful sound design by Billie Cox help set the scene throughout each transformation. Clever use of simple props and the actors’ movements create the illusion of a rocking ship on stormy waters and a horse-drawn carriage ride.

Delivered in a buoyant style with laughs and liveliness, Moll Flanders is delightfully risqué and loads of fun. Leave the kids at home for this one.

’Incidents in the Wicked Life of Moll Flanders’ runs Thurs–Sun through June 16 at the Barn Theatre in the Marin Art and Garden Center, 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., Ross. Times vary. $12–$27. 415.883.4498.

Local Mixers

The conversation around locally sourced food and beverage products is so much about organic microgreens, heritage pigs and that sort of wholesome, farmers market stuff. Nice, yeah, but how about the booze, the icy cocktails that are shaken, not stirred, and served up in that very international symbol of tippling, the martini glass? 

To answer this pressing question, I narrowed the field of cocktails to five unfussy, mostly standard-issue drinks you’d order in any bar, anywhere, with the stipulation that both booze and mixer—garnish, if possible—be North Bay-made, and presented samples in little plastic cocktail cups to a group of PacSun tasters. 

Gin and Tonic

This citrusy, balanced, not too sweet and very summery refresher was the hands- down favorite. The gin was the easy part—Spirit Works Distilling of Sebastopol makes one from organic winter wheat. It has a sweet nose, big on coriander, with a vanilla note, and a silky mouthfeel—if you can believe I’m still talking about gin, here. Finding a local craft tonic alternative to the mass-market, high-fructose corn syrup or artificially sweetened brands was the hard part. I asked Phaedra Achor, maker of Monarch Bitters in Petaluma, if she knew of any. “I make a delicious tonic syrup!” she replied. Her product is a concentrated syrup made with organic cane sugar and organic lemon peel, plus herbs and bark. It’s customizable—just add carbonated water to your liking. I liked best a mix of one-half ounce syrup to 4four or 5five ounces soda water—a higher dose seems to suppress the bubbles. The only local fail here is the lime—ask friends and neighbors if they’ve got a rare lime tree, or more likely, a Meyer lemon tree tucked away in the yard.

Runner up: Bummer & Lazarus gin, a grape-based spirit from Raff Distillerie of San Francisco, is more forward with green herbs and crushed juniper leaf aromas, and lends a more medicinal character to the G&T. H.O.B.S. gin, from Healdsburg’s Young & Yonder Distillery, is also juniper forward, but the aroma here is a bit too “medical” for my taste, reminiscent of depressing well drinks from dive bar days gone bye-bye. 

When I asked a bartender for a ready-to-go list of classic cocktail recipes, I was at first disappointed that he couldn’t offer advice unless he’d tasted all of the components to make sure the balance was correct. But when I started mixing, beginning from recipes cribbed from the International Bartenders Association (IBA) and Wikipedia, I not only understood, but also was more excited about the project. Mixing an all-local cocktail is more than just a feel-good subbing of a craft spirit for a corporate brand—it’s a whole new cocktail. 

Just for kicks, I mix 3 ounces gin with 3 ounces club soda, and 1 ounce Monarch tonic syrup, and find it’s just hard to overdo it on that Spirit Works.

Martini

Forget about where the martini was invented—Martinez or San Francisco—because we can reinvent the martini right here in the North Bay. Let’s start with 2 ounces Spirit Works gin, again, but where to find the vermouth, besides those bottom shelf brands that smell like stale wine breath? It’s rare—just 67 cases of Paul Hawley’s side project, Menagerie white vermouth ($22), were made from fortified Sonoma County Sauvignon Blanc and Viognier, but it smells just as pretty as you’d expect from those grapes, plus a whiff of fresh fennel.

Mixed at 2 ounces gin to one-fourth ounce vermouth, this martini was clean and pretty, and it’s even nice at the old-school ratio of two to one. But it’s almost too pretty too dirty up with a splash of juice from McEvoy Ranch’s spiced olive blend. Vodka partisans will find Spirit Works’ vanilla-scented vodka makes the martini so pillowy and soft, a thin slice of Meyer lemon peel is the better garnish. 

Like it dirty? That’s where Young & Yonder’s H.O.B.S. gets its turn to shine in the neon light. The Menagerie warms the aroma, but it retains that cool, alcohol edge, and can take an olive or two. Alas, the Raff had a bummer reaction to this particular vermouth.

Manhattan

Years ago, I liked Manhattans for about a week before I tired of the sickly-sweet vermouth. Menagerie red vermouth ($22), made from Sonoma County Zinfandel, is wholesomely delicious with real red cherry-like fruit, scented with fennel, and is not at all sweet. This Manhattan is a fairly dry and adult beverage matching 1 part vermouth to 2 parts Sonoma Distilling Sonoma rye. Monarch provides the bitters. The “dash” of bitters called for in the recipes was too subtle, however, so I consulted Achor—she likes to add at least 5–10 drops, and that was about right for her aromatic bitters, which round out the palate like an oak addition in wine. This is very dry with less vermouth—Sonoma rye stands up to a 2 to 1 mix, with Monarch’s cherry-vanilla bitters adding a tease of a sweet topnote. It’s cherry season, so go find a fresh one for garnish instead of the grotesquely colored candied kind.

Sazerac

Sonomify this New Orleans cocktail with 2 ounces Sonoma rye, and just one-fourth ounce of Raff’s Emperor Norton absinthe adds more than enough green herbal notes (Young & Yonder also makes a fine absinthe). Instead of Peychaud’s bitters, Monarch’s bacon-tobacco bitters, which does not contain nicotine, contributes a leathery note, like a smoky Johnnie Walker.

White Russian

The dude abides in the North Bay, if you skip the vodka and just pour Griffo Distilling’s Cold Brew coffee liqueur, made from their grain-to-glass distilled vodka and Equator Coffee’s mocha java, over ice. No syrupy Kahlua-like liqueur, Cold Brew smells transparently like coarse-ground medium roast coffee. Add a splash of Straus Family organic cream to tie the whole drink together. Y

Locations and Vocations

There’s a new buzz phrase that’s been highlighted by the Marin Economic Forum in its latest report on the county’s real estate woes—“location quotient,” or LQ. The expression refers to a formula that’s used to measure the concentration of one industry in a given area to another.

Last week the MEF issued a survey that compared various “location quotients” in the county and found that two employment sectors—computer/mathematical, healthcare and technical workers—are not especially well-represented in Marin County’s workforce. Those jobs pay an average of $42 an hour. 

At the same time, low-wage jobs in the service sector predominated (which is not unusual for any area, says the MEF) as well as many jobs in design, arts, entertainment, sports and media. 

“That would please most residents,” the MEF reports, except for the fact that those are among the lowest-paying jobs in the county, averaging $21.81 an hour—just above the level of a livable wage in Marin County. 

The MEF report on those LQs came on the heels of another blog report from April that highlighted that while residential real estate market in Marin is exceedingly tight, that there’s been a concerning trend of rising vacancy rates in commercial buildings. 

The two trends, taken together, present a vexing if not troublesome picture for the economic vitality of Marin County, suggests the MEF. 

Mike Blakeley, the chief executive officer at the MEF, says his organization has been hearing from the commercial real estate sector, leasing agents and developers and small business owners who all say that commercial vacancy rates in the county are higher than they ought to be. 

“There are not as many companies or businesses that may potentially be located here,” Blakeley says. “Most residents in Marin County are not aware that there are vacancy rates in San Rafael and Novato that are kind of flat or in some places going up. That is not a good signal—demand is a little flat.”

The issue dovetails with a chronic and well-reported lack of housing in Marin County, he says, exacerbated in some measure by scant new housing construction in Marin County in recent years. The MEF, which is funded in part by Marin County, didn’t take a position on the county’s housing policies but did report that it had passed on some on some $500 million in potential economic activity in discouraging new residential development in recent years.  

Many regions are dealing with a housing crunch, Blakeley says but Marin’s problems are exacerbated by a lack of jobs for high-end earners in the county. Not to mention: A place for those earners to live, and work locally.   

“If you dig down and look deeper,” he notes in a discussion of the MEF’s data, “are companies locating here, do we have the office space, is there a demand for the space?”

MEF’s report suggests troubling signs in that department—exacerbated, he says, but the county’s high proportion of highly skilled professionals who have to leave the county to use their skills. “There are not as many companies in Marin as people would like.” 

The Marin office-vacancy rates, he says, are part of a larger dynamic and public posture by the county itself. “It’s very much not in the spirit of Marin County to go out and find a major manufacturer and relocate here because our residents need factory jobs,” says Blakeley, quickly adding that it’s not a criticism of county officials, but a reflection of the culture of Marin County: “That’s just not the character of the county. “What residents desire is high skill or middle skill jobs,” he says, “and find a way that pays them to stay here.”

T

he MEF’s most recent studies on commercial activity and real estate in the county come at an interesting moment, as one of the county’s most iconic commercial buildings is in contract and may have a new owner as early as this week, says the broker handling the deal. 

The iconic McGraw Hill/Birkenstock distribution center at 8171 Redwood Blvd., in Novato is an architectural curiosity whose aesthetic lies somewhere between the crown of the Statue of Liberty and Eero Saarinen’s modernist TWA Terminal at John F. Kennedy Airport. Saarinen didn’t design the building; the architect who did, John Savage Bolles, also designed Candlestick Park in San Francisco. 

It’s a modernist classic on an 80-acre campus that’s visible from Highway 101 to the east and otherwise surrounded by open space. The German shoe company Birkenstock purchased the entire McGraw Hill compound in the early 1990’s, then left the region for Kentucky around the time of the 2008 economic crash, only to return to Marin in 2012 to occupy some office space on the campus it had previously left behind. The distribution center has remained shuttered since 2012—the only signs of life, apparently, were skateboarders who reportedly used to ride on the roof. 

The eye-catching building looks like its in search of a great idea and James Manley says “there is a great idea for the property which I am not at liberty to talk about.”

Commercial broker Manley is handling the sale with Keegan & Coppin and says that the 174,000 square foot warehouse is currently in contract—and that an announcement about its new owner could come any day now. Did skateboarders really use its roof? “People claim to have seen that,” says Manley, but he’s not been able to find any photo evidence. 

The strikingly angular building, built in 1964, has regularly been in and out of escrow since it’s been on the market, says Manley—interest has sprung up from Fortune 500 companies to artist colonies, to proposals for a residential development. Some Marinites have gone online to promote its use as an indoor-cannabis grow site, while others have wondered whether the well-positioned warehouse might wind up in Amazon’s hands as a jump-off station for North Bay deliveries in those iconic gray trucks.

Given the deal is still in the works, Manley couldn’t and wouldn’t provide any detail about the prospective buyer or the purchase price, but said it “would be really exciting for the area.” The building boasts 24-foot ceilings and a rugged concrete construction that Manley says couldn’t be replicated under today’s building regulations. 

Inquiries to Birkenstock’s press office seeking information about the property were not returned. 

“The city has placed (the building) on the general plan for a business park designation,” says Manley, “which makes absolutely no sense.” He says efforts are underway to preserve the property’s current light-industrial zoning designation and that Novato officials are protecting the confidentiality of the prospective buyer as they sort through some zoning issues; to do otherwise, he says, “would place them in a potentially uncomfortable position.”  

While the building is something of a white elephant, Manley says interest in the property has been high. For him, it’s been a full-time job to try and find a new owner for warehouse space, and he says the only comparable deal he’s worked on was the sale of the historic Sunset Line and Twine building in Petaluma more than ten years ago. Like the Birkenstock warehouse, he notes that the Petaluma building had an historic character to it that bristled with possibility. 

“Sometimes you just walk into a place and feel the possibilities,” says Manley.  

Blakeley at the MEF says he can’t say how the Birkenstock building fits in to Marin’s commercial future. And, he can’t speak to what forces conspired to keep it on the market without an occupant for more than a decade. “What I can say about vacant office space more broadly in Marin is it’s part of a larger dynamic of—what does Marin look like as a place to do business.”

For now, it looks like a county with some work to do, says Blakeley, given the intersection of Marin’s location-quotient and its commercial-residential vacancy gap. “As far as occupation LQ’s telling a story about the uniqueness of the Marin economy,” MEF reports, “one might say we have a higher concentration of lower paying jobs and that occupations in two of the best paying sectors have a lower relative concentration in Marin than the national average. That should be perceived as a problem; the occupations we have aren’t necessarily the occupations we need given the high cost of living and our assets, which includes a highly educated population.”  

For his part, Manley says there’s been “interest form all over the country on this property and it really speaks to the lack of this kind of availability in the North Bay. There is no industrial property out there and this is one piece that hits on all cylinders, being that it’s close to Highway 101 and Highway 37,” he says.  

Manley further stresses that there are back-up offers in place for the Birkenstock building, even as he couldn’t comment on any of the strengths and weaknesses of any potential buyer, or give a hint as to who they might be.  “There’s always drama in every escrow but let me project to you that if anything were to happen and the property were to fall out of contract, we’d likely have it back in contract with a new buyer within 48 hours.”   Y

Hero & Zero

Hero

A heroic 6-year-old girl dialed 911 last Saturday afternoon when her mother was “not acting right.” Indeed, her mother was having a medical emergency. Catherine, called Cacky by her family, remained composed as she used her mother’s cell phone to call the emergency number. She said that her “mommy needed a doctor, an ambulance or the police.” Marin County Sheriff’s Office dispatchers Joanna Langenhan and Tiffany Hettich took the call, listened to Cacky’s description of the situation and sent out first responders from the fire department and sheriff’s office.

When help arrived, Cacky was “amazing,” according to the sheriff’s office. She pointed out everything the paramedics needed and requested that someone call her father to pick up her and her 7-year-old brother. This smart young gal didn’t miss a thing. She even reminded the sheriff’s personnel to turn off the lights before they left the house.

Later that evening, Cacky received a visit from Deputy William Fahy and Sergeant Tom Alipio, who presented her with a superstar certificate and a teddy bear. Both Cacky and her brother received a special invitation to the MCSO’S Communications Center.

We’re impressed with Cacky’s courage and poise under pressure. Bravo.

Zero

As if vaping nicotine isn’t hazardous enough, a trend is emerging among teens: vaping marijuana. According to the Marin County Major Crimes Task Force, marijuana vaping gives kids a more intense high than expected. A vaping cartridge contains 75 to 80 percent THC, while the leaf form ranges from 15  to 24 percent THC. That’s too high for the 420 crowd.

Teens vape at home and in school, but since it produces little odor and the handheld device is quite small, the deed often goes undetected by parents and teachers. The task force urges parents, teachers and students to be aware of the risks of vaping.

Hero & Zero

Hero

A heroic 6-year-old girl dialed 911 last Saturday afternoon when her mother was “not acting right.” Indeed, her mother was having a medical emergency. Catherine, called Cacky by her family, remained composed as she used her mother’s cell phone to call the emergency number. She said that her “mommy needed a doctor, an ambulance or the police.” Marin County Sheriff’s Office dispatchers Joanna Langenhan and Tiffany Hettich took the call, listened to Cacky’s description of the situation and sent out first responders from the fire department and sheriff’s office.

When help arrived, Cacky was “amazing,” according to the sheriff’s office. She pointed out everything the paramedics needed and requested that someone call her father to pick up her and her 7-year-old brother. This smart young gal didn’t miss a thing. She even reminded the sheriff’s personnel to turn off the lights before they left the house.

Later that evening, Cacky received a visit from Deputy William Fahy and Sergeant Tom Alipio, who presented her with a superstar certificate and a teddy bear. Both Cacky and her brother received a special invitation to the MCSO’S Communications Center.

We’re impressed with Cacky’s courage and poise under pressure. Bravo.

Zero

As if vaping nicotine isn’t hazardous enough, a trend is emerging among teens: vaping marijuana. According to the Marin County Major Crimes Task Force, marijuana vaping gives kids a more intense high than expected. A vaping cartridge contains 75 to 80 percent THC, while the leaf form ranges from 15  to 24 percent THC. That’s too high for the 420 crowd.

Teens vape at home and in school, but since it produces little odor and the handheld device is quite small, the deed often goes undetected by parents and teachers. The task force urges parents, teachers and students to be aware of the risks of vaping.

Horoscope

ARIES (March 21-April 19): We may not have to travel to other planets to find alien life. Instead of launching expensive missions to other planets, we could look for exotic creatures here on earth. Astrobiologist Mary Beth Wilhelm is doing just that. Her search has taken her to Chile’s Atacama Desert, whose terrain has resemblances to Mars. She’s looking for organisms like those that might have once thrived on the Red Planet. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to use this idea as a metaphor for your own life. Consider the possibility that you’ve been looking far and wide for an answer or resource that is actually close at hand.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Philosopher Martin Buber believed that some stories have the power to heal. That’s why he said we should actively seek out stories that have the power to heal. Buber’s disabled grandfather once told Buber a story about an adored teacher who loved to dance. As the grandfather told the story, he got so excited that he rose from his chair to imitate the teacher, and suddenly began to hop and dance around in the way his teacher did. From that time on, the grandfather was cured of his disability. What I wish for you in the coming weeks is that you will find stories like that.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the 1960s, Gemini musician Brian Wilson began writing and recording bestselling songs with his band the Beach Boys. A seminal moment in his development happened while he was listening to his car radio in August 1963. A tune he had never heard before came on: “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes. Wilson was so excited he pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and stopped driving so he could devote his full attention to what he considered a shockingly beautiful work of art. “I started analyzing all the guitars, pianos, bass, drums, and percussion,” he told The New York Times. “Once I got all those learned, I knew how to produce records.” I suspect a pivotal moment like this could unfold for you in the coming weeks, Gemini. Be alert!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): My dear Cancerian, your soul is so rich and complicated, so many-splendored and mysterious, so fertile and generous. I’m amazed you can hold all the poignant marvels you contain. Isn’t it sometimes a struggle for you to avoid spilling over? Like a river at high tide during heavy rains? And yet every so often there come moments when you go blank; when your dense, luxuriant wonders go missing. That’s OK! It’s all part of the Great Mystery. You need these fallow phases. And I suspect that the present time might be such a time. If so, here’s a fragment of a poem by Cecilia Woloch to temporarily use as your motto: “I have nothing to offer you now save my own wild emptiness.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): America’s premier eventologist is Leo-born Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith. When she was going through a hard time in 1991, she resolved to buoy her spirits by creating cheerful, splashy new holidays. Since then she has filled the calendar with over 1,900 new occasions to celebrate. What a perfect way to express her radiant Leo energy! National Splurge Day on June 18 is one of Adrienne’s favorites: a time for revelers to be extra kind and generous to themselves. That’s a happy coincidence, because my analysis of the astrological omens suggests that this is a perfect activity for you to emphasize during the coming weeks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work, which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished.” Virgo poet Mary Oliver made that statement. It was perfectly reasonable for her, given her occupation, although a similar declaration might sound outlandish coming from a non-poet. Nonetheless, I’ll counsel you to inhabit that frame of mind at least part-time for the next two weeks. I think you’ll benefit in numerous ways from ingesting more than your minimum daily dose of beauty, wonder, enchantment and astonishment.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran philosopher Michel Foucault articulated a unique definition of “criticism.” He said that it doesn’t dish out judgments or hand down sentences. Rather, it invigorates things by encouraging them, by identifying dormant potentials and hidden beauty. Paraphrasing and quoting Foucault, I’ll tell you that this alternate type of criticism ignites useful fires and sings to the grass as it grows. It looks for the lightning of possible storms, and coaxes codes from the sea foam. I hope you’ll practice this kind of “criticism” in the coming weeks, Libra—a criticism that doesn’t squelch enthusiasm and punish mistakes, but instead champions the life spirit and helps it ripen.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Help may be hovering nearby, but in an unrecognizable guise. Rumpled but rich opportunities will appear at the peripheries, though you may not immediately recognize their value. A mess that you might prefer to avoid looking at could be harboring a very healthy kind of trouble. My advice to you, therefore, is to drop your expectations. Be receptive to possibilities that have not been on your radar. Be willing to learn lessons you have neglected or disdained in the past.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): As much as I love logic and champion rational thinking, I’m granting you a temporary exemption from their supremacy. To understand what’s transpiring in the coming weeks, and to respond with intelligence, you will have to transcend logic and reason. They will simply not be sufficient guides as you wrestle and dance with the Great Riddle that will be visiting. You will need to unleash the full power of your intuition. You must harness the wisdom of your body, and the information it reveals to you via physical sensations. You will benefit from remembering at least some of your nightly dreams, and inviting them to play on your consciousness throughout the day.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): For the sake of your emotional and spiritual health, you may need to temporarily withdraw or retreat from one or more of your alliances. But I recommend that you don’t do anything drastic or dramatic. Refrain from harsh words and sudden breaks. For now, seal yourself away from influences that are stirring up confusion so you can concentrate on reconnecting with your own deepest truths. Once you’ve done that for a while, you’ll be primed to find helpful clues about where to go next in managing your alliances.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’ve got a list of do’s and don’ts for you. Do play and have fun more than usual. But don’t indulge in naïve assumptions and infantile emotions that interfere with your ability to see the world as it really is. Do take aggressive action to heal any sense of abandonment you’re still carrying from the old days. But don’t poison yourself with feelings of blame toward the people who abandoned you. Do unleash wild flights of fantasy and marvelous speculations about seemingly impossible futures that maybe aren’t so impossible. But don’t get so fixated on wild fantasies and marvelous speculations that you neglect to embrace the subtle joys that are actually available to you right now.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “At times, so many memories trample my heart that it becomes impossible to know just what I’m feeling and why,” writes Piscean poet Mark Nepo. While that experience is familiar to everyone, it’s especially common for you Pisceans. That’s the bad news. But here’s the good news: in the coming weeks, your heart is unlikely to be trampled by your memories. Hence, you will have an excellent chance to know exactly what you’re feeling and why. The weight of the past will at least partially dissolve and you’ll be freer than usual to understand what’s true for you right now, without having to sort through confusing signals about who you used to be.

Advice Goddess

Q: 

I live with my girlfriend, who’s really picky about how clean and tidy the house has to be. God forbid I put a bowl on the dish rack that isn’t perfectly immaculate or leave tiny bits of hair in the sink after I shave. She gets totally grossed out by small things that I don’t think are a big deal. If this stuff is ridiculous, should I really have to abide by her rules? And is this a woman thing? Other girlfriends of mine have been like this, too.—Annoyed

A: 

It’s nice when your girlfriend always has your back—but not because she’s constantly two steps behind you with the wet mop. 

Research consistently finds that women have far greater “disgust sensitivity” than men—meaning they have a stronger predisposition to experience disgust. Disgust—like Little Pigs, Blind Mice and Stooges—comes in three forms (per evolutionary psychologist Joshua Tybur): sexual, moral and pathogen.

Sexual disgust leads a person to feel creeped out about having sex with evolutionarily disadvantageous partners (too old, too closely related, or sporting a big pustule that screams STD.) Moral disgust leads us to be all “Oh, yuck!” about people who violate moral standards. And finally, there’s the pathogen disgust your girlfriend’s expressing, which protects us from bacteria, viruses, parasites and toxins by making us beat a retreat from sick people, dead bodies, spoiled food and bodily fluids like mucus, spit and poo.  

Evolutionary psychologist Laith Al-Shawaf and his colleagues call women’s greater disgust sensitivity “puzzling in light of their well-documented immunological superiority.” Though we think of women as more physically fragile than men, they actually have “stronger immune responses,” which offer them “better protection than men from a variety of diseases” and “more vigorous defenses against bacteria, viruses, and … parasites.” 

However, Al-Shawaf and his colleagues have some evolutionarily driven hypotheses—informed guesses—for why women are more easily grossed out: (a) Women’s bodies are basically the factories where both parents’ genes get passed on to the next generation. (b) Mothers are also more likely to transmit infections to children. (c) Women have likewise had a greater role in “keeping children away from pathogens and teaching them effective disease-avoidance principles.” (d) Ancestral women had a greater role in food cleaning and prep.

The researchers had a couple of hypotheses about men, too. As the hunters and warriors of the species, men need lower levels of disgust “related to blood, injury, and death” lest they be all “Shoot it with an arrow? But it’ll bleed, and I pass out at the sight of blood!”

As interesting as all of this speculation is, for purposes of relationship harmony, the reason your girlfriend is more easily disgusted doesn’t actually matter. Understanding this is important. A lot of unnecessary relationship conflict comes out of people thinking they need to stand up against beliefs by their partner that they find kind of Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Often—assuming a partner’s beliefs are merely annoying, not endangering—a wiser approach is acting on the principle that the facts matter vastly less than the feelings behind them.

In your situation, for example, what counts is that you’re kind and respectful—meaning that you do your best to remember to clean up, especially in the bathroom and kitchen (major gross-out arenas)—simply because it’s important to your girlfriend. And when you forget—which you’re sure to do—apologize, making sure to validate her feelings: “I know this matters to you…I’ll try to do better…” Hearing that you get where she’s coming from tells her something—that she doesn’t need to keep fighting to make you understand. 

There’s that saying, “Would you rather be right or be happy?” The truth is, you can be both—silently laughing to yourself about the absurd contradictions of humanity: Just because we ladies go “Uh-huh…whatever…” about the gazillions of microscopic germs reportedly living on our smartphones doesn’t mean we can be all “No probski!” about the retirement community for bacteria that we picture on that food-globbed soup bowl you set on the dish rack.

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Q:  I live with my girlfriend, who’s really picky about how clean and tidy the house has to be. God forbid I put a bowl on the dish rack that isn’t perfectly immaculate or leave tiny bits of hair in the sink after I shave. She gets totally grossed out by small things that I don’t think are a big...
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