ARIES (March 21-April 19): “We are all hostages of the joy of which we deprive ourselves,” wrote poet Odysseus Elytis. Isn’t that an astounding idea? That we refuse to allow ourselves to experience some of the bliss and pleasure we could easily have; and that we are immured inside that suppressed bliss and pleasure? I call on you, Aries, to rebel against this human tendency. As I see it, one of your main tasks in 2020 is to permit yourself to welcome more bliss, to aggressively seize more pleasure and to thereby free yourself from the rot of its nullification.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): At age 22, Taurus-born Dutch citizen Willem de Kooning sneaked into the United States. He was a stowaway on an Argentina-bound freighter and stealthily disembarked when the ship made a stop in Virginia. As he lived in America during subsequent decades, he became a renowned painter who helped pioneer the movement known as abstract expressionism. His status as an illegal immigrant rarely presented any obstacles to his growing success and stature. Not until age 57 did he finally became an American citizen. I propose we make him one of your role models in 2020. May he inspire you to capitalize on being a maverick, outsider or stranger. May he encourage you to find opportunities beyond your safety zone.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When British novelist E. M. Forster was in his late 30s, he had sex with another person for the first time. Before that he had published five novels. After that, he produced just one more novel, though he lived till age 91. Why? Was he having too much fun? Looking back from his old, age, he remarked that he would “have been a more famous writer if I had published more, but sex prevented the latter.” I suspect that sensual pleasure and intimacy will have the exact opposite effect on you in 2020, Gemini. In sometimes mysterious ways, they will make you more productive in your chosen sphere.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Every part of our personality that we do not love will regress and become hostile to us,” wrote poet Robert Bly. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t suffer from this problem at least a little. That’s the bad news. The good news for us Cancerians (yes, I’m a Crab!) is that 2020 will be a favorable time to engage in a holy crusade to fix this glitch: to feel and express more love for parts of our personality that we have dismissed or marginalized. The result? Any self-sabotage we have suffered from in the past could dramatically diminish.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As a young adult, Leo-born Raymond Chandler worked as a fruit-picker, tennis racquet-stringer and bookkeeper. At age 34, he began a clerical job at the Dabney Oil Syndicate and eventually rose in the ranks to become a well-paid executive. The cushy role lasted until he was 44, when he was fired. He mourned for a while, then decided to become an author of detective fiction. It took a while, but at age 50, he published his first novel. During the next 20 years, he wrote six additional novels as well as numerous short stories and screenplays—and in the process became popular and influential. I present this synopsis as an inspirational story to fuel your destiny in 2020.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The fame of Virgo-born Italian poet Ludovico Ariosto (1474–1533) has persisted through the ages because of Orlando Furioso, an epic poem he authored. It tells the story of the Christian knight Orlando and his adoration for a pagan princess. This great work did not come easily to Ariosto. It wasn’t until he had written 56 versions of it that he was finally satisfied. I suspect you may harbor an equally perfectionist streak about the good works and labors of love you’ll craft in 2020. May I suggest you confine your experiments to no more than 10 versions?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci worked on his painting The Last Supper from 1495 to 1498. It’s a big piece—about 15 feet by 29 feet. That’s one reason why he took so long to finish. But there was another explanation, too. He told his patron, the Duke of Milan, that he sometimes positioned himself in front of his painting-in-progress and simply gazed at and thought about it, not lifting a brush. Those were times he did some of his hardest work, he said. I trust you will have regular experiences like that in 2020, Libra. Some of your best efforts will arise out of your willingness and ability to incubate your good ideas with concentrated silence and patience.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): By 1895, Henry James had already published 94 books. He was renowned in the U.S. and England, and had written the works that would later lead to him being considered for a Nobel Prize. Then, at age 52, although he was not physically fit, he decided to learn how to ride a bicycle. He paid for lessons at a bicycle academy and cheerfully tolerated bruises and cuts from his frequent falls as an acceptable price to pay for his new ability. I admire James’ determination to keep transforming. Let’s make him a role model for you in 2020. May he inspire you to keep adding new aptitudes as you outgrow your previous successes.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When Sagittarian composer Ludwig van Beethoven created the Eroica symphony in the early 1800s, many observers panned it. They said its rhythms were eccentric, that it was too long. One critic said it was “glaring and bizarre,” while another condemned its “undesirable originality.” This same critic concluded, “Genius proclaims itself not in the unusual and fantastic but in the beautiful and sublime.” Today, of course, Eroica has a different reputation. It’s regarded as a breakthrough event in musical history. I’ll go on record here, Sagittarius, to say that I suspect you created your own personal version of Eroica in 2019. 2020 is the year it will get the full appreciation it deserves, although it may take a while. Be patient.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’m going to speculate that sometime in the next six months, you will experience events that years from now you’ll look back on as having been the beginning of a fresh universe for you. What should you call this launch? I suggest you consider elegant terms like “Destiny Rebirth” or “Fate Renewal” rather than a cliché like the “Big Bang.” And how should you celebrate it? As if it were the Grand Opening of the rest of your long life.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 2020, I believe you will be able to summon the insight and kismet necessary to resolve at least one long-running problem, and probably more. You’ll have an enhanced ability to kick bad habits and escape dead-ends and uncover liberating truths about mysteries that have flustered you. Frustrations and irritations you’ve grudgingly tolerated for far too much time will finally begin to wane. Congratulations in advance, Aquarius! The hard work you do to score these triumphs won’t always be delightful, but it could provide you with a curiously robust and muscular kind of fun.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Let’s say you wanted to dress completely in silk: shirt, pants, vest, scarf, socks, shoes, hat and underwear—all made of silk. And let’s say your dream was to grow and process and weave the silk from scratch. You’d start with half an ounce of silkworm eggs. They’d hatch into 10,000 silkworms. Eventually, those hard-working insects would generate five pounds of silk—enough to create your entire outfit. So in other words, you’d be able to generate an array of functional beauty from a small, but concentrated, amount of raw material. By the way, that last sentence is a good description of what I think your general approach should be in 2020. And also by the way, dressing in silk wouldn’t be too crazy an idea in the coming months. I hope you’ll have fun cultivating your allure, style and flair.

Q: My husband’s parents interact with our 3-year-old in upsetting ways. They overfocus on her appearance, asking whether she’s washed her hair or where her comb is. (She has naturally stringy hair.) They constantly quiz her, making her name colors, numbers, etc. They once spent an entire dinner trying to train her to use a napkin. My husband finally exclaimed, “She’s not a performing seal!” After their last visit, she started showing anxiety that her hair doesn’t look nice. How can I keep my daughter’s spirit from being squelched by her grandparents?—Worried

A: Assuming Grandpa and Grandma aren’t sadists with a thing for toddler torture, they’ve probably just succumbed to the widely believed myth that little Aristophanes or Clove will have an edge over all the other diapered Harvard hopefuls by being drilled in academics from the binky years on.

Their premature focus on your daughter’s appearance probably comes from a similar place: “Can’t start too early on thinking about how you present yourself!” Actually, you can. Research by experimental psychologist Rick M. Gardner found that girls as young as 6 had negative thoughts and feelings about their appearance. Because men evolved to prioritize physical attractiveness in a partner, women evolved to be sensitive about their looks. This can lead to crippling insecurity and body dysmorphia—unfortunate at any age, but especially at age 4.

Rushing what researchers call “direct instruction” on toddlers—expecting them to memorize and recite colors, numbers, and facts—actually seems to set them back, harming them socially and emotionally, as well as…get this: academically!

Psychologist Gabrielle Principe explains in “Your Brain on Childhood” that neuroscience research suggests it’s play, not academics, that’s vital to young children’s brain development. For example, when children use their imagination—by improvising with props, creating their own games, developing storylines—they stimulate the growth of brain cells in the frontal cortex. This area is involved in “self-regulation—a critical skill for controlling emotions, resisting impulses and exerting self-control and discipline.”

Principe traces the myth driving today’s joyless, test-prep-filled childhoods to 1960s research by UC Berkeley’s Mark Rosenzweig comparing rats with super-stimulating stuff in their cages—wheels, slides, tunnels, etc.—with rats raised in the equivalent of empty closets. Rat Disneyland occupants did better on intelligence tests than those raised in Rat Closetland, and that’s what the media reported. What the media did not report was that the rats that did best of all were the ones raised in nature, dealing with spiders, snakes, cats, fleas and boxing matches with their rat buddies. Unfortunately, this “let the natural environment do its job” finding doesn’t sell learning toys or suggest to parents that they can give their kid a leg up by treating him or her like a jar to cram with information.

Though your daughter is only 3, even slightly older children seem to be harmed by being hammered with early academics. Psychologist Peter Gray writes: “The research is clear. Academic training in kindergarten has no long-term benefit. … It slightly increases academic test-scores in first grade, but by third grade the benefit is lost and, according to some of the best studies, by fourth grade those subjected to academic kindergartens are doing worse” academically “than those who were in play-based kindergartens.”

Ultimately, it’s particularly unhelpful to treat child development as a sort of race. Take the age that children start walking. Psychologist and pediatrician Arnold Gesell noted that some children walk as early as 9 months, while others start as late as 15 months. Ultimately, the early walker is no better a walker than the later one.

As for getting the grandparents to stand down, start positive: Tell them you know they love their granddaughter and want the best for her. Next, explain the research findings on both learning and appearance. Then explain that for you, what matters is that your daughter has a happy, meaningful, productive life, and this starts with her not being pushed to do things she isn’t developmentally ready for.

Be prepared to remind them a few times when they forget. On a positive note, they did wait until after the kid was born to go all psycho “Harvard or bust!” instead of getting down by your big pregnant belly and yelling calculus theorems into your uterus.

Actor-producer-comedian Debi Durst has learned a lot about strokes over the last several weeks, ever since her husband, stand-up comic Will Durst, had a serious one in October.

“If you’re going to have a stroke, hemorrhagic is the way to go,” she says.

Still hospitalized following an infection and a series of procedures involving feeding tubes, PICC lines, drainage clamps and tubes in his head, Will is recovering, making jokes, regaining his appetite and looking forward to getting back to work after canceling gigs for the first time in his 30-plus-year career.

“But we’re not cancelling the Big Fat Year End Kiss Off Comedy Show,” Debi says. “At first, we were planning on wheeling him out in his wheelchair to do his set, but then when he ended up back in the ICU with an infection, we decided to go ahead and bring in some extra help and do the show with him calling the shots from his room.”

She’s talking, of course, about the popular annual comedy showcase Will has headlined—and Debi has produced and appeared in—for the past 27 years. For 2019, the touring comedy cavalcade will play 10 shows in nine venues over nine days. Featuring names that fans have come to count on—Johnny Steele, Arthur Gaus, Michael Bossier, Mari Magaloni and Debi Durst—the show will welcome a revolving band of additional comedians to fill in for Will during the performances. They will include effervescent comedian-actor Diane Amos, veteran stand-up Dan St. Paul, the ever-eccentric Michael Meehan, hard-working Barry Weintraub, and Larry “Bubbles” Brown, who Debi says, “Will show up whether we ask him to or not, so we just put him on the bill.”

The comics will take turns performing stand-up sets, interspersed with sketches and songs, each devised to—in words made famous by Will—“lampoon, satirize, mock, scoff, scorn, taunt, tease, rib and ridicule the people and events of the past year,” which, given the year we’ve just had, should be a total laugh riot. North Bay fans can catch the show at the Raven Theater in Healdsburg on Saturday, Jan. 4.

“It’s what Will wants; for us to do the show,” Debi says. “And he kind of loves the idea that it takes three or four comics to take his place in his 45-minute set. Barry Weintraub is flying out from New York City to help—it’s all hands on deck, and it’s all because Will hated the idea of the show not going on. So, we will proceed in the spirit of what Will set the show up to be, a show in the spirit of fun and laughter; ’cause I don’t know about you, but we sure need to laugh right now.”

Asked if Will is currently working on any jokes for his act once he returns to the stage, Debi laughs. “Oh, man,” she says, “I’m thinking he’s going to have an entire one-man show about this.”

The 27th Annual Big Fat Year End Kiss Off Comedy Show plays Saturday, Jan. 4, at the Raven Theater, 115 North St., Healdsburg. 8pm. $30–$40. 707.433.6335.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nazi Germany invaded and occupied Denmark during World War II. In 1943, Hitler ordered all Danish Jews to be arrested—a first step in his plan to send them to concentration camps. But the Danish resistance movement leapt into action and smuggled virtually all of them to safety via fishing boats bound for Sweden. As a result, 8,000+ Danish Jews survived the Holocaust. You may not have the opportunity to do anything quite as heroic in 2020, Aries. But I expect you will have chances to express a high order of practical idealism that could be among your noblest and most valiant efforts ever. Draw inspiration from the Danish resistance.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When she was 31, Taurus writer Charlotte Brontë finished writing her novel Jane Eyre. She guessed it would have a better chance of getting published if its author was thought to be a man. So she adopted the masculine pen name of Currer Bell and sent the manuscript unsolicited to a London publisher. Less than eight weeks later, her new book was in print. It quickly became a commercial success. I propose that we make Brontë one of your role models for 2020, Taurus. May she inspire you to be audacious in expressing yourself and confident in seeking the help you need to reach your goals. May she embolden you, too, to use ingenious stratagems to support your righteous cause.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The year 2020 can and should be a lyrically healing year for you. Here’s what I mean: Beauty and grace will be curative. The “medicine” you need will come to you via poetic and mellifluous experiences. With this in mind, I encourage you to seek out encounters with the following remedies: 1. Truth Whimsies 2. Curiosity Breakthroughs 3. Delight Gambles 4. Sacred Amusements 4. Redemptive Synchronicities 5. Surprise Ripenings 6. Gleeful Discoveries 7. Epiphany Adventures 8. Enchantment Games 9. Elegance Eruptions 10. Intimacy Angels 11. Playful Salvation 12. Luminosity Spells.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “There are years that ask questions and years that answer,” wrote author Zora Neale Hurston. According to my astrological analysis, Cancerian, 2020 is likely to be one of those years that asks questions, while 2021 will be a time when you’ll get rich and meaningful answers to the queries you’ll pose in 2020. To ensure that this plan works out for your maximum benefit, it’s essential that you formulate provocative questions in the coming months. At first, it’s fine if you generate too many. As the year progresses, you can whittle them down to the most ultimate and important questions. Get started!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Roman Emperor Vespasian (9–79 C.E.) supervised the restoration of the Temple of Peace, the Temple of Claudius and the Theater of Marcellus. He also built a huge statue of Apollo and the amphitheater now known as the Colosseum, whose magnificent ruins are still a major tourist attraction. Vespasian also created a less majestic but quite practical wonder: Rome’s first public urinals. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you Leos to be stimulated by his example in 2020. Be your usual magnificent self as you generate both inspiring beauty and earthy, pragmatic improvements.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When Virgo author Mary Shelley was 18 years old, she had a disconcerting, dream-like vision about a mad chemist who created a weird human-like creature out of non-living matter. She set about to write a book based on her mirage. At age 20, she published Frankenstein, a novel that would ultimately wield a huge cultural influence and become a seminal work in the “science fiction” genre. I propose we make Shelley one of your role models for 2020. Why? Because I suspect that you, too, will have the power to transform a challenging event or influence into an important asset. You’ll be able to generate or attract a new source of energy by responding creatively to experiences that initially provoke anxiety.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libra-born mystic poet Rumi (1207–1273 C.E.) wrote that he searched for holy sustenance and divine inspiration in temples, churches and mosques—but couldn’t find them there. The good news? Because of his disappointment, he was motivated to go on an inner quest—and ultimately found holy sustenance and divine inspiration in his own heart. I’ve got a strong feeling that you’ll have similar experiences in 2020, Libra. Not on every occasion, but much of the time, you will discover the treasure you need and long for not in the outside world but rather in your own depths.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Among his many accomplishments, Scorpio rapper Drake is an inventive rhymer. In his song “Diplomatic Immunity,” he rhymes “sacred temple” with “stencil.” Brilliant! Other rhymes: “statistics” with “ballistics”; “Treaty of Versailles” with “no cease and desist in I”; and—my favorite—“Al Jazeera” (the Qatar-based news source) with “Shakira” (the Colombian singer). According to my analysis of the astrological omens in 2020, many of you Scorpios will have Drake-style skill at mixing and blending seemingly disparate elements. I bet you’ll also be good at connecting influences that belong together but have never been able to combine before.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke (1875–1926 C.E.) embodied a trait that many astrology textbooks suggest is common to the Sagittarian tribe: wanderlust. He was born in Prague but traveled widely throughout Europe and Russia. If there were a Guinness World Records’ category for “Time Spent as a Houseguest,” Rilke might hold it. There was a four-year period when he lived at 50 different addresses. I’m going to be bold here and hypothesize that 2020 will NOT be one of those years when you would benefit from being like Rilke. In fact, I hope you’ll seek out more stability and security than usual.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): 15th-century Italian metalworker Lorenzo Ghiberti worked for 28 years to turn the doors of the Florence Baptistry into a massive work of art. He used bronze to create numerous scenes from the Bible. His fellow artist Michelangelo was so impressed that he said Ghiberti’s doors could have served as “The Gates of Paradise.” I offer Ghiberti as inspiration for your life in 2020, Capricorn. I think you’ll be capable of beginning a masterwork that could take quite some time to complete and serve as your very own “gate to paradise”: in other words, an engaging project and delightful accomplishment that will make you feel your life is eminently meaningful and worthwhile.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re wise to cultivate a degree of skepticism and even contrariness. Like all of us, your abilities to say NO to detrimental influences and to criticize bad things are key to your mental health. On the other hand, it’s a smart idea to keep checking yourself for irrelevant, gratuitous skepticism and contrariness. You have a sacred duty to maintain just the amount you need, but no more—even as you foster a vigorous reservoir of receptivity, optimism and generosity. And guess what? 2020 will be an excellent time to make this one of your cornerstone habits.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dante Alighieri (1265–1321 C.E.) finished writing The Divine Comedy in 1320. Today it’s considered one of the supreme literary accomplishments in the Italian language and a classic of world literature. But no one ever read the entire work in the English language until 1802, when it was translated for the first time. Let’s invoke this as a metaphor for your life in the coming months, Pisces. According to my visions, a resource or influence that has previously been inaccessible to you will finally arrive in a form you can understand and use. Some wisdom that has been untranslatable or unreadable will at last be available.