ARIES (March 21-April 19): Singapore has one of the world’s lowest fertility rates. A few years ago, this state of affairs prompted the government to urge Singaporeans to have sex on an annual holiday known as National Day. A new rap song was released in the hope of pumping up everyone’s libidos and instigating a baby boom. It included the lyrics, “Let’s make fireworks ignite / Let’s make Singapore’s birth rate spike.” I have a different reason for encouraging you to seek abundant, high-quality sex, Aries. According to my analysis, tender orgasmic experiences will profoundly enhance your emotional intelligence in the coming weeks—and make you an excellent decision-maker just in time for your big decisions. (P.S. You don’t necessarily need a partner.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the 1530s, explorer Jacques Cartier led expeditions from France to the New World. As Europeans often did back then, he and his team were rude and brutish to the indigenous folks who lived there, stealing their land, kidnapping some of them and slaughtering herds of great auks in a bird sanctuary. Yet there was one winter when Cartier’s marauders got crucial help from their victims, who gave them vitamin C-rich pine needle tea that cured their scurvy. I suspect you Tauruses will embark on quests and journeys in the coming months, and I’m hoping your behavior will be different from Cartier’s. When you arrive in unfamiliar places, be humble, curious and respectful. Be hesitant to impose your concepts of what’s true and be eager to learn from the locals. If you do, you’re likely to get rich teachings and benefits equivalent to the pine needle tea.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Many software engineers have enjoyed The Pragmatic Programmer, a book that helps them develop and refine their code. One popular technique the book offers is “rubber duck deprogramming.” Programmers place a toy rubber duck in front of them, and describe to it the problems they’re having. As they explain each line of code to their very good listener, they may discover what’s amiss. I recommend a similar approach to you as you embark on metaphorically debugging your own program, Gemini. If a rubber duck isn’t available, call on your favorite statue or stuffed animal, or even a photo of a catalytic teacher or relative or spirit.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Read the following passage from Gabriel García Márquez’s novel One Hundred Years of Solitude. “Gaston was not only a fierce lover, with endless wisdom and imagination, but he was also, perhaps, the first man in the history of the species who had made an emergency landing and had come close to killing himself and his sweetheart simply to make love in a field of violets.” I admire the romantic artistry of Gaston’s dramatic gesture. I applaud his imaginative desire to express his love in a carefully chosen sanctuary filled with beauty. I praise his intense devotion to playful extravagance. But I don’t recommend you do anything quite so extreme in behalf of love during the coming weeks. Being 20 percent as extreme might be just right, though.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his song “Diplomatic Immunity,” rapper Drake disparages tranquility and harmony. “I listen to heavy metal for meditation, no silence,” he brags. “My body isn’t much of a sacred temple, with vodka and wine, and sleep at the opposite times,” he declares. Is there a method in his madness? It’s revealed in these lyrics: “All that peace and that unity: all that weak sh– will ruin me.” In the coming weeks, Leo, I urge you to practice the exact opposite of Drake’s approach. It’s time to treat yourself to an intense and extended phase of self-care.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It’s a favorable time to refresh your relationships with your basic sources and to make connections with new basic sources. To spur your creative thought on these matters, I offer the following questions to meditate on. 1. If you weren’t living where you do now, what other place might you like to call home? 2. If you didn’t have the name you actually go by, what other name would you choose? 3. If you had an urge to expand the circle of allies that supports and stimulates you, whom would you seek out? 4. If you wanted to add new foods and herbs that would nurture your physical health and new experiences that would nurture your mental health, what would they be?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Mushrooms have spores, not seeds. They’re tiny. If you could stack 2,500 of them, they’d be an inch high. On the other hand, they are numerous. A ripe mushroom may release up to 16 million spores. And each spore is so light-weight, the wind can pick it up and fling it long distances. I’ll encourage you to express your power and influence like a mushroom in the coming days: subtle and airy but abundant; light and fine, but relentless and bountiful.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Sometimes the easiest way to get something done is to be a little naive about it,” writes computer engineer Bill Joy. I invite you to consider the value of that perspective, Scorpio—even though you’re the least likely sign in all the zodiac to do so. Being naive just doesn’t come naturally to you; you often know more than everyone else around you. Maybe you’ll be more receptive to my suggestion if I reframe the task. Are you familiar with the Zen Buddhist concept of “beginner’s mind”? You wipe away your assumptions and see everything as if it were the first time you were in its presence.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Is it always a bad thing to be lost? To wander in the unknown without a map? I’d like to propose a good version of being lost. It requires you to be willing to give up your certainties, to relinquish your grip on the comforting dogmas that have structured your world—but to do so gladly, with a spirit of cheerful expectancy and curiosity. It doesn’t require you to be a macho hero who feels no fear or confusion. Rather, you have faith that life will provide blessings that weren’t possible until you got lost.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions,” wrote science educator Lewis Thomas. “Let’s acknowledge this, perhaps even learn to do it better.” I agree with him! And I think it’s an ideal time for you to learn how to worry more effectively, more potently, and with greater artistry. What might that look like? First, you wouldn’t feel shame or guilt about worrying. You wouldn’t regard it as a failing. Rather, you would raise your worrying to a higher power. You’d wield it as a savvy tool to discern which situations truly need your concerned energy and which don’t.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Some wounds go so deep that you don’t even feel them until months, maybe years, later,” wrote Aquarian author Julius Lester. Pay attention to that thought, Aquarius. The bad news is that you are just now beginning to feel a wound that was inflicted some time ago. But that’s also the good news, because it means the wound will no longer be hidden and unknowable. And because you’ll be fully aware of it, you’ll be empowered to launch the healing process. I suggest you follow your early intuitions about how best to proceed with the cure.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you’ve been having dreams or fantasies that the roof is sinking or the walls are closing in, you should interpret it as a sign that you should consider moving into a more spacious situation. If you have been trapped within the narrow confines of limited possibilities, it’s time to break free and flee to a wide open frontier. In general, Pisces, I urge you to insist on more expansiveness in everything you do, even if that requires you to demolish cute little mental blocks that have tricked you into thinking small.

Q: I’m a 30-something gay guy. When I moved to a new city five years ago, I knew nobody except two female co-workers, who became my first friends. I have since met people who are more my style. I no longer work with these ladies, and I’m not interested in hanging out with them anymore. When they call to get together, I keep saying I’m busy, but they’re not getting the picture. How do I break up with them without being mean?—Trapped

A: When you break up with a romantic partner, there are comforting cliches you can use, like “It’s not you; it’s me,” “You deserve better,” and “We can still be friends.” When you break up with a friend, where do you go with that?

It helps to understand the underpinnings of friendship. We like to think of ourselves as rational and discerning people and we believe this shapes our choice of friends. In fact, personality psychologist Mitja Back and his colleagues find that a major driver of whom we’re friends with is “mere proximity.” Location, location, location! Really special, huh?

Still, maybe you feel guilty about exiling these ladies from your life, because you used them when you knew nobody. However, they hung out with you willingly. It’s not like you were some odious character they were forced to go to brunch with at gunpoint.

The kindest approach is to keep distancing yourself and hope they get the message or just give up on trying to get together. You do say that the “take the hint!” approach hasn’t been working. But are their calls and texts so bothersome that it’s worth it to go all rip-the-Band-Aid-off? If you decide it is, you could say, “You guys have been so kind to me, and I’ve enjoyed our times together, but I’ve gone through some personal changes, and I don’t think we’re such a great match anymore.”

Be prepared: They may press you to tell them more. For maximum kindness, stick to this sort of vague statement. Don’t go all truthful on them: They were human placeholders, the sidewalk furniture of friends, like curbside chairs you dragged home so you wouldn’t have to ask your dates, “Hey, wanna stand in my living room and watch Netflix?”

Q: I seem to keep getting together with the same, messed-up guy over and over again. Basically, the men I’m attracted to all have the same issues (emotionally unavailable, fear of commitment, etc.). Each time, I tell myself I can make things different. How do I stop doing this?—Broken Picker

A: Your problem isn’t being attracted to guys who turn out to be messed up. It’s going forward with them after you discover that. It’s like seeing the sign “Shark-Infested Waters” and then saying to yourself, “They probably say that so the lifeguards don’t have so much work.”

Research by psychologist Roy Baumeister on self-regulation (self-control) finds that it has four components: standards, motivation to meet those standards, self-monitoring to make sure you’re doing that, and the will to control urges to do what you know you shouldn’t be doing.

You probably believe you have standards, but chances are you haven’t thought them out to the point that you can tick off what they are. Not having a solid grasp on them means you can’t monitor whether you’re following them and take action if you aren’t. Now’s the time to change that. Write down a list of your standards: your must-haves for a guy you’re with, the qualities you can’t do without.

When you’re interested in a guy, ask questions that draw out the sort of man he is and also look at his behavior. If he falls short of your standards, make yourself move on. Yes, make yourself. This will be hardest the first time, and if you really like a particular guy. Eventually, it’ll become easier to weed out the guys with issues, though you may need to work on your own before you’re comfortable with guys who’d make you happy. Should you find yourself jonesing for a project, opt for something safe, like gluing elbow macaroni all over your car, as opposed to being like the storm-chaser dude who’s all surprised when he gets blown into the next state and impaled by rebar.

Q: I’m a single man in my 30s, and I don’t want a relationship right now. I keep meeting women online who say they only want something casual. Then, on the first or second date, it becomes obvious they want a relationship, not just fun and sex. What’s with the bait and switch?—Annoyed

A: Women who bait and switch like this reflect what evolutionary psychologists David Buss and David Schmitt call men’s and women’s conflicting “sexual strategies.” These are best summed up as “happily ever after” for women versus “hookupily ever after” for men.

These differences in sexual strategy trace to differences in “obligatory parental investment.” This refers to how a man can bolt after sex, while a woman can get pregnant and stuck with a kid.

Accordingly, Buss and Schmitt explain that women typically benefit most from a “long-term sexual strategy,” vetting men to see if they’ll stick around to invest in any children that might come out of sex. Men, however, benefit most (that is, leave more descendants carrying their genes) from a “short-term sexual strategy”—having casual sex with a variety of hot-erellas.

This doesn’t mean men never want to commit or women never want to hook up. But because men and women coevolved, they are at least subconsciously aware of each other’s intentions and shade the truth to put themselves in the most “marketable” light. So, men often act more interested in commitment than they actually are (in hopes of getting sex) and women often act less interested, in hopes of ensnaring Harry Hookup and turning him into Harry the Husband.

It probably makes sense to err on the side of assuming a woman will want commitment, whether she knows or articulates that or not. My advice for first and second dates: Meet for happy hour drinks or coffee for an hour or two, max. You still might get women who said they just want casual fun going gooey on you at the end of date two. At least you won’t have shelled out for filet mignon and fine wine only to hear the no-strings-attached sex version of “First 100 callers get a free TV!” … “Oh, sorry, sir … you’re caller 101.”

Q: My girlfriends are all writing out their visions for a partner, as if they’ve met him already (“Thank you, universe, for bringing me this man … ”). They claim they’ve gotten boyfriends because of it. Is this just New Age crap, or is there something to writing down what you want?—Boyfriend-Seeking

A: This apparently is a thing, women writing a letter about the man of their dreams and then feeling like they ordered online from the universe: “My man’s on his way. Just waiting for the tracking number!”

Once they get a boyfriend, the belief that their letter writing made it happen comes out of a common cognitive bias called the “illusion of control.” This term, coined by psychologist Ellen Langer, describes people’s tendency to believe they have control over outcomes that they obviously do not. An example of this is gamblers blowing on dice.

Ironically, the fact that it’s irrational to do this doesn’t mean it’s unhelpful. Research by psychologists Michael I. Norton and Francesca Gino finds that a ritual, a “symbolic activity” a person performs in hopes of making something happen, tends to increase their “feelings of control” over situations in which outcomes are uncertain. This, in turn, decreases the stress they feel.

In other words, it’s possible that the ceremonial act of writing a “Dear Santa” letter to the universe makes a woman more appealing to men by calming her down and getting her to act less crazy and desperate. It’s like putting in an order at a restaurant. You have faith your dinner is coming; you don’t stalk the waiter on Instagram and text him 30 times, alternating pictures of your boobs with plaintive questions and abuse: “Is the chef okay? … Are you on a smoke break? … I bet you gave my steak to a prettier girl. … You’re a terrible waiter. … I hate you.”

If you live in Mill Valley, there’s a good chance your neighbor is an artist. In fact, the town is teeming with creative people, and for over 30 years, the Mill Valley Arts Commission has shone a spotlight on these people.The annual Milley Awards, presented on Sunday, Oct. 20, at the Mill Valley Community Center, honor five individuals in various artistic disciplines who’ve made Mill Valley a better place to live.

Members of the community nominate, and a panel of judges selected, this year’s recipients—all of whom are associated with the arts scene in Mill Valley.

First up, the Literary Arts category winner is author and educator Karen Benke, who is the author of a poetry collection and four creative writing adventure books for the young and young-at-heart to explore and expand their imaginations. Benke is also a frequent collaborator with statewide nonprofit organization California Poet in the Schools, which leads classroom workshops that aim to empower students with creative writing and performing. Locally, Benke leads writing workshops at the Writer’s Nest in the renovated Mill Valley Lumber Yard. Benke’s work has also gone international, with her books translated into Chinese, Russian, Korean and soon Italian.

In the category of visual arts and design, the Milley Award goes to Robert Holmes, the famed photographer who’s made his home in Mill Valley for 40 years. The British-born Holmes began his career covering the 1975 British Everest Expedition for the London Daily Mail. The following year, he received an invitation from Ansel Adams to visit California. He ended up settling in Mill Valley in 1979. His work as a travel photographer is world-renowned, with publications from National Geographic to Life having published his work. His own, award-winning photography books include travel, food and wine photography.

Longtime Mill Valley resident and Academy Award–winner Phil Pastuhov is this year’s Milley Award recipient for Performing and Film Arts. Pastuhov is a director of aerial photography who specializes in drone-powered camera work. He’s worked on over 120 films and just as many commercials during his life. Any time the camera flies over a car in The Fast & the Furious or scans a mountainside in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that’s Pastuhov shooting the scene with a drone. When he’s not making movies, Pastuhov leads small drone-flying workshops at locales like the Utah plains and Norway’s islands.

Singer-songwriter Lorin Rowan, this year’s recipient of the Milley Award for Musical Arts, is one of Mill Valley’s most recognizable figures, and one of the town’s most prolific artists. His time in Mill Valley dates back to the early ‘70s, when he and brother Chris played music with the likes of David Grisman and Jerry Garcia before they signed to Columbia Records as the Rowans and began releasing country-rock albums. In the ‘80s, Rowan turned his attention to the burgeoning ska/reggae scene with his band the Edge, and for the last 30 years he’s released music under his own name and with projects like Deep Blue Jam, a fusion of bluegrass, rock and funk. He also plays with Rattlebox and continues to collaborate with Chris in the Rowan Brothers.

Locally, Rowan is a beloved presence at many benefits and fundraisers, appearing at the annual Wine, Women & Song breast cancer benefit and Blue Star Music Camp events.

Last but not least, the Milleys are honoring Bob Burton and his wife, the late Elza Burton, in the category of Contributions to the Arts Community. Best known as a founding member of the Mill Valley Center for the Performing Arts (now Marin Theatre Company), Elza served on its initial Board of Directors. Bob’s contributions include supporting many artistic endeavors—including helping approve plans for the original Sweetwater venue back in the ‘70s—during his time working on the Mill Valley Planning Commission and City Council, which included two years as Mayor. Together, the Burtons were patrons and supporters of the Marin Symphony, the Mill Valley Chamber Music Society and many other organizations, and their contributions to Mill Valley span over half a century.

For its part, the 2019 Milley Awards has contributed to the arts scene for 31 years now. Mill Valley Arts Commissioner Abby Wasserman originally founded it as the Mill Valley Awards for Creative Achievement in 1988. For the first several years, it only honored one recipient each year, beginning with Ann O’Hanlon, founder of Sight & Insight Art Center (now the O’Hanlon Center for the Arts).

The awards expanded in 1994 to accommodate the multidisciplinary artists living and working in Mill Valley, and became known as “The Milley.”

To date, over 150 individuals have been given a Milley, and this year’s lineup of recipients is another fine example of the overflowing creative energy that gives Mill Valley its artistic spirit.

The Milley Awards Ceremony and dinner takes place on Sunday, Oct. 20, at the Mill Valley Community Center, 180 Camino Alto, Mill Valley. 5:30pm. $75. milleyawards.org.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “We can’t change anything until we get some fresh ideas, until we begin to see things differently,” wrote Aries psychologist James Hillman. I agree. And that’s very good news for you Aries people. In my view, you are more attracted to and excited by fresh ideas than any other sign of the zodiac. That’s why you have the potential to become master initiators of transformation. One of my favorite types of plot twists in your life story occurs when you seek out fresh ideas and initiate transformations not only in your own behalf, but also for those you care about. I bet the coming weeks will bring at least one of those plot twists.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Metaphorically speaking, Taurus, you are now crossing a bridge. Behind you is the intriguing past; in front of you, the even more-intriguing future. You can still decide to return to where you came from. Or else you can pick up your pace, and race ahead at twice the speed. You might even make the choice to linger on the bridge for a while; to survey the vast vistas that are visible and contemplate more leisurely the transition you’re making. Only you know what’s best for you, of course. But if you asked me, I’d be in favor of lingering on the bridge for a while.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As I write this, I’m sitting in a café near two women at another table. One sports a gold, cashmere headscarf and pentagram necklace. The other wears a dark blue pantsuit and a silver broach that’s the glyph for Gemini the Twins. HeadScarf shuffles a deck of Tarot cards and asks PantSuit what she’d like to find out during the divination she is about to receive. “I would very much like you to tell me what I really, really want,” PantSuit says with a chuckle. “I’m sure that once I find out that big secret, I’ll be able to accomplish wonders.” I hope the rest of you Geminis will be on a similar mission in the coming weeks. Do whatever it takes to get very clear about what you want most.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was meandering through an Athenian marketplace, gazing at the appealing and expensive items for sale. “How many things there are in this world that I do not want,” he exclaimed with satisfaction. I recommend you cultivate that liberated attitude. Now is a perfect time to celebrate the fact that there are countless treasures and pleasures you don’t need in order to be charmed and cheerful about your life. For extra credit, add this nuance from Henry David Thoreau: People are rich in proportion to the number of things they can afford to let alone.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I invite you to try this exercise. Imagine that one springtime you grow a garden filled with flowers that rabbits like to nibble: petunias, marigolds, gazanias and pansies. This place has the sole purpose of giving gifts to a wild, sweet part of nature. It’s blithely impractical. You do it for your own senseless, secret joy. It appeals to the dreamy lover of life in you. Got all that, Leo? Now, in accordance with current astrological omens, I suggest you actually try to fulfill a fantasy comparable to that one in the coming weeks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My Virgo friend Lola got a text message from her Scorpio buddy Tanya. “Why don’t you come over and chill with me and my demons? It’ll be entertaining, I promise! My inner jerks are howlingly funny tonight.” Here’s what Lola texted back: “Thanks but no thanks, sweetie. I’ve been making big breakthroughs with my own demons—giving them the attention they crave without caving in to their outrageous demands—and for now I need to work on stabilizing our new relationship. I can’t risk bringing extra demons into the mix.” I suspect this is an accurate description of what could be happening for you, Virgo.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In ancient holy texts from India, soma was said to be a drink that enhanced awareness and alertness. According to modern scholars, it may have been a blend of poppy, ephedra and cannabis. In Norse mythology, the beverage called the Mead of Suttungr conferred poetic inspiration and the ability to solve any riddle. One of its ingredients was honey. In Slavic folklore, raskovnik is an herb with the magic power to unlock what’s locked and uncover hidden treasures. It’s not a four-leaf clover, but resembles it. I invite you Libras to fantasize about using these three marvels. To do so will potentize your imagination, thereby boosting the cosmic forces that will be working in your favor to enhance your awareness, confer inspiration, solve riddles, unlock what’s locked and find hidden treasures.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Inventor Buckminster Fuller (1895–1983) was a visionary genius in numerous fields, including architecture, design, engineering and futurism. In the course of earning 40 honorary doctorates, he traveled widely. It was his custom to wear three watches, each set to a different time: one to the zone where he currently was, another to where he had recently departed and a third to where he would journey next. “I know that I am not a category,” he wrote. “I am not a thing—a noun. I seem to be a verb.” I recommend his approach to you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. Be a verb! Allow your identity to be fluid, your plans adjustable, your ideas subject to constant revision.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Art is good for my soul precisely because it reminds me that we have souls in the first place,” said actress Tilda Swinton. How about you, Sagittarius? What reminds you that you have a soul in the first place? Beloved animals? Favorite music? A stroll amidst natural wonders? Unpredictable, fascinating sexual experiences? The vivid and mysterious dreams you have at night? Whatever stimuli bring you into visceral communion with your soul, I urge you to seek them out in abundance. It’s Soul-Cherishing and Soul-Enhancing Time for you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The coming weeks will be a favorable time to arrange a series of high-level meetings between your body, mind and soul. You might even consider staging an extravagant conference-like festival and festival-like conference. The astrological omens suggest that your body, mind and soul are now primed to reveal choice secrets and tips to each other. They are all more willing and eager than usual to come up with productive new synergies that will enable each to function with more panache and effectiveness.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I believe in inhabiting contradictions,” writes Aquarian author and activist Angela Davis. “I believe in making contradictions productive, not in having to choose one side or the other side. As opposed to choosing either or choosing both.” I think Davis’s approach will work well for you in the coming weeks. It’s not just that the contradictions will be tolerable; they will be downright fertile, generous and beneficent. So welcome them; honor them; allow them to bless you with their tricky opportunities and unexpected solutions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean pianist Frédéric Chopin (1801–1849) was a poetic genius whose music was full of sweetness and grace. “Without equal in his generation,” said more than one critic. Today, more than 170 years after his death, his work remains popular. Recently an Italian sound designer named Remo de Vico created an original new Chopin piece that featured all 21 of the master’s piano nocturnes being played simultaneously. (You can hear it here: tinyurl.com/NewChopin.) As you might imagine, it’s a gorgeous mess, too crammed with notes to truly be enjoyable, but interesting nevertheless. I’ll counsel you to avoid a similar fate in the coming weeks, Pisces. It’s fine to be extravagant and expansive and mulitfaceted; just don’t overdo it.