by Rick Polito
FRIDAY, JAN. 30 Sons of Liberty Samuel Adams commits acts of terrorism in hopes of overthrowing the government in 18th century Boston. History Channel. 6pm.
Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax A grumpy malcontent stands in the way of an enterprising job creator. FX. 8pm.
Love, Lust or Run In yet another makeover show, a stylist attempts to help women tone down their flashy style. We like the part where she raids their homes with a SWAT team and confiscates all the blue eye shadow. The Learning Channel. 9pm.
SATURDAY, JAN. 31 NFL Honors Of course, this year it’s been more NFL arraignments. NBC. 9pm.
MythBusters Jaimie and Adam test whether concepts in video games could happen in the real world. They also bust the myth that hardcore gamers can actually meet women and go on dates. Discovery Channel. 9pm.
SUNDAY, FEB. 1 Super Bowl Pre-Game It will take careful editing and focus to adequately cover the subject in a mere five hours. NBC. 10am.
Super Bowl XXXCQLLV Corporations spend $4 million a minute to objectify women and insult your intelligence. Oh, and there’s a football game. NBC. 3pm.
How to Train Your Dragon First, buy a litter box the size of a swimming pool. (2010) FX. 8pm.
MONDAY, FEB. 2 Scorpion The team investigates the death of a music blogger, but first they must determine if Metallica sucks or if Metallica totally rules. CBS. 9pm.
The Eye A blind woman receives a double cornea transplant and begins seeing terrifying visions of death and destruction. But that’s just the health insurance company. She also sees dead people, and the future. (2008) Syfy. 9pm.
Friends to Lovers This reality show follows pairs of friends who attempt to become romantic partners. To make it more interesting, they are not allowed to get totally drunk at a wedding and wake up naked in a hotel room surrounded by empty champagne bottles, as is normally the case in these situations. Bravo. 10pm.
TUESDAY, FEB. 3 Point Break A note to surfing crime rings: If a guy shows up and says his name is “Johnny Utah,” you’re either being set up by the cops or you’re in a really bad Keanu Reeves movie. (1991) Starz. 6:50pm.
The Avengers Apparently you need tights, a cape or a ridiculous name to save the world from other people in tights and capes. (2012) FX. 7pm.
Child Genius This is basically Dance Moms with pocket protectors. Lifetime. 10pm.
WEDNESDAY, FEB. 4 Casino Royale Daniel Craig breathes new life into the Bond franchise, for the first time portraying the secret agent as somebody who doesn’t bill her Majesty’s Secret Service for hair gel and manicures. (2006) American Movie Classics. 8pm.
Captain America: Winter Soldier And, apparently, your other tights-and-cape friends don’t always answer your phone calls. Was Iron Man getting his suit fixed? Where was The Hulk? (2014) Starz. 10pm.
THURSDAY, FEB. 5 Grease Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta celebrate the styles of the ‘50s and a simpler era, when all you needed was slicked-back hair, a fast car and white parents. (1978) ABC Family. 8:30pm.
Her A man begins to fall in love with his computer’s operating system, forcing him to buy a second computer for watching porn. (2014) HBO. 8:55pm.
Allegiance A young CIA analyst discovers that his parents are Russian spies. It’s like finding photos of your parents from the disco years, only not as traumatizing. NBC. 10pm.
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