Free Will Astrology, Feb. 12-18

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Love requires stability and steadiness to thrive. But it also needs unpredictability and imaginativeness. The same holds true with friendship. Without creative touches and departures from routine, even strong alliances can atrophy into mere sentiment and boring dutifulness. With this in mind, and in accordance with astrological omens, I offer quotes to inspire your quest to keep togetherness fertile and flourishing. 1. “Love has no rules except those we invent, moment by moment.” —Anaïs Nin. 2. “The essence of love is invention. Lovers should always dream and create their own world.” —Jorge Luis Borges. 3. “A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person, but never in quite the same way.” —Mignon McLaughlin. 

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In celebration of the Valentine season, I suggest you get blithely unshackled in your approach to love. Be loose, limber and playful. To stimulate the romantic and intimate qualities I think you should emphasize, I offer you these quotes: 1. “Love is the endless apprenticeship of two souls daring to be both sanctuary and storm for one another.” —Rainer Maria Rilke.  2. “Love is the revolution in which we dismantle the prisons of our fear, building a world where our truths can stand naked and unashamed.” —Audre Lorde. 3. “Love is the rebellion that tears down walls within and between us, making room for the unruly beauty of our shared becoming.” —Adrienne Rich.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To honor the rowdy Valentine spirit, I invite you to either use the following passage or compose one like it, then offer it to a willing recipient who would love to go deeper with you: “Be my thunderclap, my cascade of shooting stars. Be my echo across the valley, my rebel hymn, my riddle with no answer. Be my just-before-you-wake-up-dream. Be my tectonic shift. Be my black pearl, my vacation from gloom and doom, my forbidden dance. Be my river-song in F major, my wild-eyed prophet, my moonlit debate, my infinite possibility. Be my trembling, blooming, spiraling and soaring.”

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author Elizabeth Gilbert wrote, “The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all.” One of those strange jewels in you is emerging from its hiding place. Any day now, it will reveal at least some of its spectacular beauty, to be followed by more in the subsequent weeks. Are you ready to be surprised by your secret self? Are your beloved allies ready? A bloom this magnificent could require adjustments. You and yours may have to expand your horizons together.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 2025, the role that togetherness plays in your life will inspire you to achieve unexpected personal accomplishments. Companionship and alliances may even stir up destiny-changing developments. To get you primed, I offer these quotes: 1. “Love is a trick that nature plays on us to achieve the impossible.” —William Somerset Maugham. 2. “Love is the ultimate outlaw. It won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as its accomplice.” —Tom Robbins. 3. “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Yet each day reveals new constellations in our shared sky.” —Emily Brontë.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Psychotherapist Robin Norwood wrote that some people, mostly women, give too much love and kindness. They neglect their own self-care as they attend generously to the needs of others. They may even provide nurturing and support to those who don’t appreciate it or return the favor. Author Anne Morrow Lindbergh expressed a different perspective. She wrote, “No one has ever loved anyone too much. We just haven’t learned yet how to love enough.” What’s your position on this issue, Virgo? It’s time for you to come to a new understanding of exactly how much giving is correct for you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Are you ready to express your affection with lush and lavish exuberance? I hope so. Now would be an excellent time, astrologically speaking. I dare you to give the following words, composed by poet Pablo Neruda, to a person who will be receptive to them. “You are the keeper of my wildest storms, the green shoot splitting the stone of my silence. Your love wraps me in galaxies, crowns me with the salt of the sea and fills my lungs with the language of the earth. You are the voice of the rivers, the crest of the waves, the pulse of the stars. With every word you speak, you unweave my solitude and knit me into eternity.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Among its potential gifts, astrology can raise our awareness of the cyclical nature of life. When used well, it helps us know when there are favorable times to enhance and upgrade specific areas of our lives. For example, in the coming weeks, you Scorpios could make progress on building a strong foundation for the future of love. You will rouse sweet fortune for yourself and those you care for if you infuse your best relationships with extra steadiness and stability. 

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I want you to be moved by intimacy and friendships that buoy your soul, inspire your expansive mind and pique your sense of adventure. To boost the likelihood they will flow your way in abundance during the coming weeks, I offer you these quotes. 1. “Love is a madness so discreet that we carry its delicious wounds for a lifetime as if they were precious gems.” —Federico García Lorca. 2. “Love is not a vacation from life. It’s a parallel universe where everything ordinary becomes extraordinary.” —Anne Morrow Lindbergh. 3. “Where there is love there is life. And where there is life, there is mischief in the making.” —my Sagittarius friend, Artemisia.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Every intimate alliance is unique, has its own rules and shouldn’t be compared to any standard. This is a key theme for you to embrace right now. Below are helpful quotes. 1. “Each couple’s love story is a language only they can speak, with words only they can define.” —Federico Fellini. 2. “In every true marriage, each serves as guide and companion to the other toward a shared enlightenment that no one else could possibly share.” —Joseph Campbell. 3. “The beauty of marriage is not in its uniformity but in how each couple writes their own story, following no map but the one they draw together.” —Isabel Allende. 4. “Marriages are like fingerprints; each one is different, and each one is beautiful.” —Maggie Reyes.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Borrowing the words of Aquarian author Virginia Woolf, I’ve prepared a love note for you to use as your own. Feel free to give these words to the person whose destiny needs to be woven more closely together with yours. “You are the tide that sweeps through the corridors of my mind, a wild rhythm that fills my empty spaces with the echo of eternity. You are the unspoken sentence in my every thought, the shadow and the light interwoven in the fabric of my being. You are the pulse of the universe pressing against my skin, the quiet chaos of love that refuses to be named. You are my uncharted shore.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Love and intimacy and togetherness are fun, yes. But they’re also hard work—especially if you want to make the fun last. This will be your specialty in the coming months. I’ve assembled four quotes to inspire you. 1. “The essence of marriage is not that it provides a happy ending, but that it provides a promising beginning—and then you keep beginning again, day after day.” —Gabriel García Márquez. 2. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. But those who follow the art of creating it day after day come closest to discovering it.” —Pearl Buck. 3. “Love is a continuous act of forgiveness.” —Maya Angelou. 4. “In the best of relationships, daily rebuilding is a mutual process. Each partner helps the other grow.” —Virginia Satir.

Culture Crush, 2/12

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Sonoma County

Call for Young Writers

Sonoma County Youth Voice literary magazine, launched by the Sonoma County Office of Education (SCOE), is now accepting submissions for its second issue. Open to public high school students, the magazine welcomes poetry, flash fiction and autobiographical essays centered on this year’s theme: When I Need to Nourish Myself. Students, especially those from historically marginalized communities, are encouraged to submit up to three pages of poetry or short prose (200–300 words). Selected works will be published, with contributors receiving a copy of the magazine and a commendation from SCOE. The deadline is Friday, Feb. 28. Learn more at bit.ly/soco-youth-voice.

Santa Rosa

Youth Heart Screens

Sudden Cardiac Arrest is a leading cause of death among student-athletes and young people, often due to undiagnosed heart conditions. Healthy Petaluma’s HeartSafe Community Program, in partnership with the Kyle J. Taylor Foundation, Santa Rosa City Schools and the County of Sonoma, is offering free heart screenings for Sonoma County youth and young adults ages 12-25. The event includes EKG screenings, with follow-up echocardiograms if needed, to detect potential cardiac anomalies early. These tests typically cost $1,500 but are provided at no charge. The screenings are available from 9am to 4pm, on Sunday, Feb. 23, at Elsie Allen High School, 599 Bellevue Ave., Santa Rosa. Pre-registration is required and closes Feb. 20. Space is limited to 500 participants. More information and registration at kylejtaylor.app.neoncrm.com.

Corte Madera 

How to Be Dateable

Dating experts and Dateable podcast hosts Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu break down modern dating myths and offer a fresh, empowering approach to finding love in their book, How to Be Dateable, with an appearance at Corte Madera’s Book Passage. Drawing on a decade of research and conversations with thousands of daters, the authors help readers identify dating patterns, avoid common traps and embrace their strengths. Instead of rigid rules or gimmicks, the book provides a personalized quiz, case studies and practical exercises to help navigate relationships with confidence. Marie Thouin joins the discussion at this in-person event. 4pm, Saturday, Feb. 15, at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera. Free admission. More information at bookpassage.com.

Mill Valley

Cy Currin at Sweetwater

Cy Curnin, front person of the iconic British rock band, The Fixx, takes the stage for an intimate performance at Mill Valley’s Sweetwater Music Hall this weekend. Known for hits like “One Thing Leads to Another” and “Are We Ourselves?,” Curnin brings decades of songwriting and storytelling to life with his signature voice and reflective lyricism. “I’m really enjoying being a writer and a thought provoker in this era that we live in now,” he recently shared with a Medianews Group outlet. The fix is in at 8pm, Saturday, Feb. 22, at Sweetwater Music Hall, 19 Corte Madera Ave., Mill Valley. Doors at 7pm. All ages. Tickets $42.73. More information at sweetwatermusichall.com.

Your Letters, 2/12

Mind the Gap 

Donald Trump is doing what more than half the country could only dream of for far too long. When Trump dodged a bullet, the whole world dodged a bullet. I hope you print this in your Pacific Sun and open your closed mind. I do not think you and your readers are wrong about everything. You are, however, wrong about Trump, who won three times—a proven fact.

Gerald Norton
Mill Valley

Bank on It

Recently, there was an article in your paper about volunteering for agencies that help our community. This letter is to inform your readers that some nonprofits give their CEOs salaries of $100,000 to $750,000 annually and higher. In Sonoma County, the CEO of the Redwood Empire Food Bank receives over $300,000 a year.* 

I strongly encourage your readers to instead support a small, committed organization named the California Homemakers Association (CHA), as their staff are not paid any salary. It is an all-volunteer service organization. They help people with many essential needs, including food and clothing, and free assistance from many different types of professions. 

They are local and can be reached at 707.591.9573 and are located at 1819 Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. They always welcome volunteers who have one-time or continuing part-time work.

Betty Le Donne
Santa Rosa

*Verified via ProPublica’s Nonprofit Explorer.

The Self-Marriage of Cristie Kiley

When I first heard about mirror weddings, I did a spit-take. But as I mopped my Jack and Coke with bar napkins and seltzer water, the whole thing became less comic to me.

Listen, we’ve all had sober conversations about self-care and self-love. Those concepts call into question our relationship with ourselves—are we compassionate with ourselves, or do we hate ourselves? So perhaps self-union is the true end and consummation of a self-love journey, where upon hallowed altar, we make a lifelong commitment to loving ourselves.

It’s not necessarily an alternative to traditional marriage, says Cristie Kiley. One must love and respect oneself before they can attract and receive love from others. 

And what bigger love could we have? Who but ourselves will go the distance, match our freak, and share humor and all our secrets? … But there I am, writing my own self-marriage vows.

Let’s just say I had my head turned by this brave and bodacious young woman.

CH: I saw the beautiful portraits of your self-marriage on the Yuba River that you styled yourself. Cristie, could you share with us your self-marriage vows and promises?

CK: Yes! “I promise to no longer seek external validation—especially from men—in order to feel worthy and seen. Instead, I now give myself the validation, encouragement and reassurance that I need. I promise to accept and adore the majestic being that I am—all of my parts, the strong and the weak, the beautiful and the ugly, the vibrant and the muted.”

CH: This commitment to loving yourself lifted you up from a “rock-bottom” in your relationship with men?

CK: Yes … ( sharply exhales ) In our society, we are taught to be codependent, and we are taught to hate ourselves and always look for who will complete us or fix us. And … I was in a very dark place … seeking externally what is only accessible from within.

CH: I understand that on your self-wedding day, you gave yourself a rose quartz and diamond ring engraved with the words “self-love always,” which you wear on your pinky.

CK: Yes. It serves as a frequent reminder of my vows to myself…

Learn more: See Kiley’s wedding photos. She is a professional photographer, videographer, art director and stylist. Since her wedding, she has offered fantasy-inspired self-love and empowerment shoots alongside her traditional wedding packages. Follow this link, linktr.ee/cristiekileyLINKS.

In a World of Nonsense, Try to ‘Stop Making Sense’ of It

David Byrne and his Talking Heads concert film told us to Stop Making Sense in 1983. 

Forty years later, it was restored, honored and rereleased. It hit like a storm.

At Larkspur’s Lark Theater on New Year’s Eve, people were dancing in the aisles with joy, matching the joyous musicians on the screen. Stop Making Sense continues to demonstrate David Byrne’s lyrical urgency that we stop trying to make sense of modern times. 

Nowadays, artists play second stage to influencers; art is replaced with content, and our urge to seek creativity is dulled by scrolling social media blips. Byrne’s lyrics uphold their messages well, blasting a list of charges against those allowing this cookie-cutter normalcy. 

In his song, “Heaven,” he sings, “Heaven, heaven is a place where nothing, nothing ever happens.” Regarding the song “Burning Down The House,” Byrne said, “when I wrote the lyrics back in 1982, the title phrase was a metaphor for destroying something safe that entrapped you.” He also said, “Like the film title, it doesn’t make literal sense, but it makes emotional sense.” 

These songs still invite us to stop making sense of unoriginality, of an unkind, precarious world, and of online algorithms that steer us into consuming disempowerment and dread. All this resonates in his songs “Crosseyed And Painless,” “What A Day That Was,” “Once In A Lifetime” and “Life During Wartime.” 

This rings and sings so true now. And as the film progresses, this urgency builds until it explodes our senses with an ecstatic performance.  

As 2025 is shaping up to be chaotic, David Byrne’s lyrics hold fast, so let’s try to stop making sense of the senselessness and get creative.

Phillip Saxon Lieb is from Petaluma, where he played guitar in alt rock bands Maltese Falcons, Trap A Poodle and operated a used record store, Vinyl Planet. He currently lives in Marin County.

Old Story Told New, ‘The Epic of Gilgamesh’ staged in San Rafael

Before Jason set out with his Argonauts or James T. Kirk boldly went where no one has gone before, there was Gilgamesh, who, in the words of the Assyrian tablets, “undertakes an expedition unknown to him.” 

Nate Currier has also undertaken an unknown expedition. This first-time director has chosen to bring Gilgamesh to life with a new adaptation that will open at Marin Shakespeare Company’s downtown space on Feb. 14. 

Gilgamesh is a book high schoolers might read in AP English. But, to be honest, most don’t. It has a reputation for being a difficult read, so why see a show based on it? Currier’s response: “It’s the oldest story ever written down—an existential king contemplating mortality, with laughs, sex and monsters. And it’s free.” 

Lead actor Eliot Hall compares Gilgamesh’s search for immortality to today’s AI revolution. “Is it better to be gods or humans?” he asks. “The rise of AI is humanity trying to become immortal. With today’s advances in technology, people will relate to the questions of what it means to be human and what our humanity’s limitations are. Also, I think it’s a cool, weird story people will want to see.”

“I was adamant about keeping the weirdness intact,” Currier says. “I have no idea why the cast is here, doing this bare-bones play with me, but they are so amazing.”

“Well, I’m a history nerd,” Hall opines. 

“There are a lot of history nerds in the cast,” Currier notes with a laugh. 

What is clear is their passion for this project. “We want people to come see it. It’s a universal story that people should be able to see,” Currier says.

“You don’t have to be a theater person to enjoy this show. You will not feel excluded. But theater people will also love it,” says Hall.

“And high schoolers will love it,” Currier adds.  

“Plus, it’s so good,” Hall says. “My professor at DePaul used to say that for a show to be good, you needed two out of three things: a good script, a good cast, a good director. This show has all three.”

The Valentine’s Day opening seems apt for this passion project. So one may eschew the overpriced dinner, take a chance and see what real passion looks like.

‘The Epic of Gilgamesh’ runs Feb. 14-Feb. 23 at Marin Shakespeare Company’s Center for Performing Arts, Education, and Social Justice at 514 4th St., San Rafael. Thurs-Sun 7:30pm. Admission is free—donations are appreciated. 415.388.5208. marinshakespeare.org.

Shell Game: Hog Island, Google collab makes waves in oyster scene

What happens when Marin’s own Hog Island Oyster Co. collaborates with Google’s new Gemini AI? Apparently, the answer is a Super Bowl commercial that spotlights how AI technology can benefit small businesses across the nation.

For those who don’t know, Hog Island Oyster Co. is a beloved local oyster business that’s been at the forefront of Marin’s food scene since it was founded in the early 1980s. 

What began as an idea for a funky seasonal roadside oyster bar evolved into a culinary cultural staple of the Bay Area. Now, Hog Island will represent California’s small businesses in a nationally televised Super Bowl commercial.

Hog Island Oyster Co. is one of only 50 businesses nationwide that was chosen to be featured in Google’s 50 States, 50 Stories Super Bowl commercial. The commercial will air during the big game and can be watched locally as a community at the San Francisco Market (or at home on the TV).

“We were pretty excited when Google approached us—I mean, who wouldn’t like to be in a Super Bowl commercial?” said John Finger, founding partner and CEO of Hog Island Oyster Co. “50 companies, 50 states, and we’re the one in California that they wanted to work with.”

“You start a company because you’re passionate about something, but you are not necessarily an expert in marketing or copywriting or building inventory tracking models,” said Harris Beber, head of marketing for Google Workspace. “That’s where AI should come in—to help you do more of what you love, less of what you don’t.”

So, how exactly has Hog Island Oyster Co. used Google Workspace and Gemini AI to do more of what they love and less of what they don’t? Well, as with all technology, it’s all about how one integrates new technologies into the workplace, ideally to alleviate strenuous, time-intensive tasks. 

In other words, the integration of new technology can act as a useful tool that allows small business employees the luxury of more time and energy for work they love while delegating taxing tasks to the tech.

A great non-AI example of this kind of technological tool is Hog Island’s use of tipping bags in their oyster growing process.

“On the oyster growing front, the development of tipping bag culture has been a game changer in terms of tech,” explained Finger. “Using the tide to tumble the oysters around…creates a system where they hang down vertically in a low tide and the other direction in high tide. That’s a big game changer for us because some of the stuff we used to do manually we’re now having the tide do for us.”

By harnessing the power of the tides through tipping bag technology, Hog Island lifted a portion of the manual labor from its employees. And, by assigning the environment itself to do the job of tumbling the oysters, still achieved the desired result of tumbling: to slow down the oyster growth and get deeper cups and firmer meat.

“Once the oysters… are out in the bay, we’re relying a lot on nature,” Finger explained. “The food, water, oxygen flow—it’s all about the place, being keyed into a healthy estuary and about being mindful of our impacts.”

“We had looked at [using AI] a little bit, but it wasn’t until Google approached us with Gemini that we really considered its benefits,” added Finger.

So, what exactly are the benefits of Gemini in Hog Island’s local small business, and where exactly do oysters and AI intersect? Well, it all comes down to the data. While human minds are extraordinary biological supercomputers capable of great feats, accessing and analyzing decades of data in order to detect and predict trends is still a time-consuming endeavor—unless, of course, one has a computer smart enough to do it instead.

“Over the years, we’ve had databases to track things like growing and inventory and weather patterns, and those data sets are our company’s biggest assets,” Finger explained. “We’ve had all this data for years, but our big question was, how do we analyze all that?”

“That takes a lot of time if a person is doing it,” Finger continued. “Realizing that we can ask Gemini AI, ‘Hey, if we plant this number of oysters here, when can we project that 75% of them are going to reach extra-small size?’ and being able to get those answers without a huge amount of time, we’re pretty excited about that.”

Through the integration of Gemini into the Hog Island business model, West Marin’s local oyster growers can now have the consistent upper hand in predicting restaurant needs through the year, manage inventory flow and streamline the supply chain to guarantee customer satisfaction with little waste. In turn, this leaves the experts more time to devote to the work they are truly passionate about, like interacting with the community and making/eating great oysters, of course.

“My favorite oyster dish…I really do like them raw; just the essence of ocean with a little bit of lemon on it is something else,” Finger said. “If you cook them at all, I’d say grilled oysters is the way to go, especially the harissa grilled oysters we do at Hog Island.”

“In the wintertime, our trademark Hog Island Sweetwater is complex umami-rich and has a little bit of a smoky rich finish to it,” Finger continued. “In the summertime, I really like our Hog Island Atlantic—it has a snappy brine to it and a minerality.”

According to Finger, the three biggest factors that determine an oyster’s unique flavor and qualities are the type of oyster, the place it is grown and the hand that grew it.

“We coach our team members on [oyster varietals] all the time—it’s a lot like wine,” Finger explained. “This is our 42nd year in business, and having our origin in the ’80s put us right at the time of the whole California food movement.”

“The folks at Hog Island are experts at what they do—growing great oysters, and creating incredible experiences for the community,” said Beber. “We love to see how they’re using AI to help track and manage their inventory today, and we’re so excited for how they continue using this technology in the future.”

Whatever exciting new technology is on the horizon for Hog Island, Finger asserts that the business model is and always will be based on two core principles: “Do we have enough oysters, and do we have the right people?”

“[Hog Island] is a people-intensive business,” said Finger. “So, no, we won’t be replacing our servers with robots. But can AI help us process information faster and more efficiently? Yes.”

“We have been part of the West Marin community forever, and we feel our ethos, beyond taking care of the environment, is taking care of the community we’re part of,” concluded Finger. “Over the years, people have been saying we’re in the fabric of the area, Marin County. It makes us really proud to think back on what we’ve created and that anybody cares about that—it’s a cool thing.”

End Times: Pretty Frankenstein is in love at the apocalypse

Pretty Frankenstein has a certain attitude toward the perils of the moment. It comes across in the band’s new single, “Love Letter to the Apocalypse,” just released across streaming platforms.

A slow, deep burn, the song has the feel of something stirring deep within the heart, a creaking refrain of a timeless theme with particular resonance at this inflection point in history.

“It’s talking about being with the person that you love during the chaos of an apocalyptic situation,” said the songwriter in a heartfelt chat by phone. “What it means for me now is a sense of defiance.”

The song had a long road to release, being written by fronthuman Grey Starr for their husband 10 years ago. In that time, it has continually evolved, finding its final form in part shaped by the current line-up of Pretty Frankenstein.

“I’m very happy with this version, you know? It does the most justice to the style I wanted the song to sound,” mused Starr. “A lot of the time when you write a song, you have all these different ideas in your head, and I feel like this is the closest to how I wanted it to sound.”

With the twang of Roy Orbison filtered through the echo chamber of Mazzy Star, the single is a musical love letter to the band’s distinct inspirations and personal roots.

Pretty Frankenstein will follow up the single with a music video this month, just in time for Valentine’s Day, giving fans visuals to their take on love in an apocalyptic world. 

The glam-vampire aesthetic of the band lends a playful kink to the probing message of the song, one of love, authenticity and the power of communion in the face of threatened erasure. 

“I felt like the song needed to be released now. Right now is a time where we kind of feel hopeless, and there’s a [reflex] to almost go into hiding at the moment,” explained Starr, echoing the sentiment of queer folks all around America right now.

“[For] people like me and other queer people, other queer people of color, and trans people, for my band and really anybody on the spectrum of queerness, I think now is a time to stand proud and be close to one another,” said Starr. “Get closer to your community; be kind of like safety nets for each other.”

Preach.

“My guitarist and my bassist, who sings backup vocals in this song, are married as well. They’re a lesbian couple, and [that brings] more connection and love to the song,” said Starr. Having multiple connections of love and co-creation cloaked in the commitment signified by marriage makes the message all the more salient for the end times.

Starr, who will also be organizing the Filipino Festival in Oakland in May, offers plain and simple advice. “Help your communities,” they summarize.

“[With] all that is going on around us, all these laws targeting queer people, staying in the fight is the most revolutionary thing you can do. I think right now being close to your community of other queer people is very important,” Starr continued.

The message aspires to be intersectional and universal. Starr knows that people across all categories are feeling despondent right now. Can we learn even from those different from ourselves? Pretty Frankenstein and Starr want to spread love by showing love.

“Hopefully, other people will get that same sense from the song, you know?” they said.

As corporate and federal actions align to threaten individuals and communities across a diverse swath of society, Pretty Frankenstein reminds us that it is a time to be loud and proud.

‘Love Letter to the Apocalypse’ by Pretty Frankenstein is streaming now on one’s favorite platform.

Deportation on the Menu: Trump’s Immigration Policies Affect How We Eat

Nearly every bite of food we eat in the U.S. has passed through the hands of an undocumented immigrant. 

Along the entire food system, from farms and vineyards to meat processing plants and restaurant kitchens, undocumented immigrants feed our nation.

That is especially true here in the North Bay, where, according to chef Elijah Trujillo, immigrants are the “unsung heroes.”

Trujillo, the son of immigrants, has worked in some top Sonoma County restaurants and is the co-founder of Shokakko Food Truck.  

“In Sonoma and Napa counties, we’re wine country, wine and agriculture. That’s our bread and butter; that’s what we tout to the world. And if you look at it, it’s all run off of immigrants,” Trujillo said. “If you were to take that labor force away, the whole thing would collapse.”

Undocumented immigrants make up around half of U.S. farm workers, 47% in 2022, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, and an estimated 75% in California.    

At the other end of the food system, undocumented immigrants represent 9% of the hospitality workforce nationwide, according to the Pew Research Center, and up to 40% in cities like Los Angeles, according to the nonprofit One Fair Wage.

“If you’re around it every day, you stop seeing it,” Trujillo said of how easy it is to overlook the contributions of undocumented immigrants to the North Bay’s world class wineries and restaurants. “If you stay at a hotel, guess what? The kitchens are immigrants, the housekeeping’s immigrants, the people that built the darn buildings are immigrants.”

President Donald Trump has promised to deport all 11 million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. and signed a slew of executive orders, including declaring a national emergency at the southern border, reinterpreting the 14th Amendment to end birthright citizenship and forcing asylum seekers to remain in Mexico.  

Although the swift deportation of 11 million people is legally and logistically unlikely, a study by American Farm Bureau Federation estimates that if U.S. policy took the stance of enforcing deportations without offering a path to citizenship, essentially what Trump has proposed, then farm income would drop 15-29%. 

These losses could lead to the closure of hundreds of farms and vineyards, with producers of fruit, vegetables, meat and dairy hit the hardest. We’d likely see food shortages and be forced to increase imports, and, according to the study, the price of groceries would likely rise 6%. 

Trump himself couldn’t escape the hypocrisy when an immigration lawyer argued that Trump Winery in Virginia knowingly hired undocumented workers for the harvest season in 2020.    

While a 2017 law makes California a sanctuary state by preventing law enforcement from cooperating with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), on Jan. 7 of this year, a different agency, Border Patrol, rounded up people who looked like farm workers in parking lots in a Kern County raid. This resulted in 78 arrests, showing that the state is not immune to immigration sweeps. 

Rumors of more raids reached wine country. And Madeline Hernandez, regional directing attorney at Immigration Institute of the Bay Area, worked to dispel the false information and offer resources to the immigrant communities.

Sheriffs from Sonoma and Napa counties have stated they will comply with the state law and stay out of immigration matters. Other institutions, like the Napa Board of Supervisors and Napa Valley College, have reinforced their commitment to keeping the immigrant community safe from ICE raids. The Marin sheriff has not responded. 

Since many immigrant households are of mixed legal status, Hernandez said the fear of family separation leads people to stop going to work and stop shopping, disrupting the economy. The fear also leads to decreased school attendance, and dissuades immigrants from seeking healthcare and reporting crimes.    

There’s a myth that undocumented immigrants get paid cash and don’t contribute taxes, but the opposite is true. While there are strict punishments for businesses that get caught paying under the table, there’s plausible deniability in accepting a fake Social Security card and putting an undocumented immigrant on the payroll. 

“If you’re a working individual and you’re on a payroll, you are paying taxes. You actually are getting Social Security and other things taken out of your paycheck monthly. And then when you retire, whenever you finish working, you’re not eligible to receive the benefits that you worked for,” Hernandez said. “It’s really sad for a lot of individuals who have worked for 40 plus years.”

In 2022, undocumented immigrants paid $8.5 billion in taxes in California alone, and $96.7 billion nationwide. According to the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy, undocumented immigrants pay 8% of their income in taxes, compared to the top 1% of taxpayers who pay just 5.4%. 

They pay into a system they don’t benefit from, work in the shadows of the glitzy industries that rely on them and live in constant fear of deportation. 

“Regardless of what your views are, or how you feel about the issue, I think it is an issue that needs to be talked about,” Trujillo said. “Whether you want to get involved or not, it directly affects every aspect of your life.”

The contradiction between Trump’s aggressive deportations and the reality that our region’s pride and joy: wine and food, rely on the hard work of undocumented immigrants, is coming to a head.

A Comedy of Eros, Dating in One’s 50s

At some point, I stopped trying to count how many first dates I’d had. Was it 37? 48? The number was less important than the slow realization that I was essentially speed-dating the entire middle-aged male population of the North Bay. 

It was like I had unwittingly entered an endurance race, but instead of a medal at the end, I got ghosted by a guy named Gary, who called his dog his “business partner.”

I’m not new to the game—just newly single after a long-term relationship ended with the mutual realization that our love had evolved into something best described as “amicable roommate energy.” 

So, I dusted off my metaphorical dating shoes (a pair of well-worn Blundstones, because, North Bay) and jumped into the deep end of the dating pool. What I discovered was that the pool is shallow, chlorinated with the tears of ex-wives, and occasionally features a rogue pool noodle that thinks it’s ready for commitment but is, in fact, just floating aimlessly.

The Apps: A Graveyard of Bio Clichés

I started with the usual suspects: Bumble, Hinge and the requisite three-day stint on Tinder, before realizing it was where hope went to die. Bumble seemed promising—if one ignored the profiles that were either entirely photos of motorcycles (are you dating, or is it just the Ducati?) or contained bios like “fluent in sarcasm” and “I’ll make you laugh—guaranteed.” The men here were very into hiking, very into IPA culture and very committed to never texting back in a timely manner.

Hinge had more of a “I’m ready for my second marriage” energy, which I admired. But there were also a lot of photos of guys standing on boats. Where are all these boats? Is there a secret marina full of midlife divorcées waiting for me to swipe right?

And, of course, there was the friend setup, which was less of a lifeline and more of a slow-motion disaster that I walked into because I am an optimist.

Date #1: The Man Who Hugged Too Long

Gary (not his real name, but if you’re out there, Gary, I hope your dog is thriving) was a setup from my well-meaning yoga friend. She described him as “a really deep thinker” and “super into spirituality.” This should have been my first clue that I was about to embark on a journey best documented for anthropological study.

We met at a vegan café in Mill Valley. He arrived wearing a linen tunic and exuding the strong scent of patchouli and aura work. He held my hand a beat too long when we met and said, “I already feel so connected to you.” I nodded politely, as one does when someone on mushrooms starts explaining quantum physics at a party.

Over matcha lattes, he shared that he lived off the grid (but had excellent WiFi, somehow), and he made his living leading “intimacy retreats” in Sonoma. (“Intimacy” being the operative word here.) When I asked what that entailed, he gazed deeply into my eyes and said, “Let’s just breathe together for a moment.”

And reader, I did. Because I am polite. And because I was still hoping for a slice of banana bread before I fled the scene. But as we sat there, eyes locked, breathing in rhythm like two synchronized swimmers in the pool of what is my life, I realized I was in the opening chapters of a woman-in-peril novel.

Ultimately, the moment ended when I fake-checked my phone and told him I had to pick up my (nonexistent) dog from the groomer.

Date #2: The Man With the Exit Strategy

Then there was Steve. Steve, I found on Hinge, and his profile gave off solid “dad who does his own taxes energy.” He had a beard (as required by North Bay ordinance), two kids in college and liked “exploring new restaurants.” Perfectly fine.

We met at a wine bar in Petaluma, and within 10 minutes, I knew two things:

1. He was very prepared for this date to be terrible.

2. He had an escape plan.

I discovered this when, midway through our charcuterie plate, he glanced at his Apple Watch and said, “Oh man, my buddy just texted me—he’s locked out of his apartment. I should probably go help him.”

I stared at him, asking, “Your buddy, a grown man, has no other way into his own apartment?” 

Steve blinked and said, “Yeah, well, he, uh… lost his keys?”

I took a sip of my wine and nodded, saying, “That’s weird because I thought you were the one looking for the exit.”

To his credit, he did not try to deny it. He just shrugged and said, “You seem cool, but I have a rule about not dating women who have read more than 100 books.”

I stared at him and said, “That is… a very specific rule.”

He replied, “I dated a woman who read 200 books in a year once. It was intense.”

And that’s how I got dumped for literacy.

The Philosophical Reckoning

After these (and other) adventures, I started wondering: What exactly was I looking for? Was I actually searching for love, or was I just accumulating material for a Netflix dramedy starring Sarah Paulson? (Working title: On All Dating Apps.)

As Miranda July aptly puts it in All Fours, “You had to withstand a profound sense of wrongness if you ever wanted to get somewhere new.” Maybe I was looking for love, or maybe I was just looking for a dinner partner who could hold a conversation that didn’t involve “spiritual downloads” or escape plans.

What I do know is this: Dating at this age is less about chasing the fairy tale and more about finding someone whose weirdness complements one’s own. Someone who won’t judge your overly complicated coffee order or your encyclopedic knowledge of ’90s rom-coms. Someone who might, on a random Tuesday, say, “Hey, let’s go to that weird roadside attraction in Sebastopol,” just because it seems fun.

Until then, I’ll be over here, living my best protagonist life—awkward, hopeful and still open to whatever strange, beautiful thing comes next.

Kris Eff lives a fictional life in Petaluma.

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