Mortality shades director Michael Showalter’s comedy Hello, My Name Is Doris. The slight but endearing plot has an armature—a significant mention of Tennessee Williams’ play TheGlass Menagerie sets the stage. Like poor Laura Wingfield, Doris (Sally Field) has been walled up tending to her aged mother, and is gradually turning into a trash-picker and a cat-pamperer.
Sixty-something Doris still works 9-5, rocking her batty personal style at a chic clothing manufacturer in Manhattan; she’s bedecked with bows, found objects and a double pair of glasses. Doris has these excellent vintage mother-of-pearl-encrusted cat’s spectacles that she can’t give up even if she can’t read with them on. Her eyesight is good enough to see a new marketing person, John (New Girl’s blandly cute Max Greenfield), and she falls for him hard and fast, even though he’s about 40 years younger than she is.
Speaking of eyes, they’re the last thing to go on an actress, and Field’s are sharp, dark and expressive. It’s a strange experience to see an actress evolve from a 1960s beach bunny to an elder, but there’s a lot that time hasn’t worn away. Field plays her comedy in a hushed, ladylike voice, and she’s lithe enough to fit into spandex when she descends into Brooklyn.
“These people have welcomed me into their world,” Doris says, and the excursion of course is bittersweet. The film doesn’t fire on all cylinders, despite agile support by Natasha Lyonne and Tyne Daly: We’re not allowed to take the crush all that seriously. Still, Field—in nearly every scene—savors the material and runs with it. Likability has never been her problem, and you see a strange, merry spirit that never seems too manically pixiesh to bear. The film isn’t as mordant as Harold and Maude; it’s more like the odd romances of the ’80s, like Sugar Baby and I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing.
It’s a few minutes after noon on Friday, March 4, and a large group of people, clutching colorful umbrellas, has gathered around the train tracks in San Rafael.
“Wasn’t it supposed to be here at noon?” asks a woman who is huddled under cover from the pouring rain.
“It’s already late!” a man next to her jokes.
They, along with San Rafael Mayor Gary Phillips and Sonoma-Marin Area Rail Transit (SMART) officials, have flocked here for a historic event: The first time in more than 50 years that a passenger train has graced the
tracks of the downtown station.
“It’s coming,” says another man hopefully, as those gathered crane their necks and stand on tiptoe to catch the first glimpse of a piece of SMART’s 43-mile Santa Rosa to San Rafael project, scheduled to begin service by the end of this year.
In the distance, faint whistles can be heard. Before long, the sounds get louder, and the red lights on the “Railroad Crossing” sign begin to flash. The crowd cheers.
“Whoo hoo!”
“Isn’t this exciting!?”
“Nice job, SMART! It’s gorgeous!”
As the train comes to a stop and the doors open—“Arriving at San Rafael” scrolling on the inside marquee—people board to look around, try out the brand-new seats and imagine what it will be like to have what many say is a long overdue regional transportation network.
“It’s a new era,” says Geri Cook, who grew up in San Rafael and remembers the old train rolling into town past her home. She came today with her husband to welcome SMART’s train into the station. “I have high hopes for it.”
Siri Dargeou, who lives in Terra Linda, relaxes in one of the seats, staring out the window. “Oh, this is fun,” she says, noting that she spent many years living in France and riding the trains around Europe. “I’ve been waiting a long time.”
Dargeou says that she can’t wait to be a passenger and visit her daughter in Cotati. “I love trains,” she says. “I’m so excited.”
As she exits, she thanks one of the SMART engineers. “Take care … I’ll see you soon!”
Women’s History Month could be a debatable concept, depending on how you approach it. Some say that its existence only highlights the gender gap, while others advocate for its importance in balancing the scale. But regardless of the angle, risk-taking women who support each other is always great news.
Female entrepreneurship—in fields ranging from the arts to tech—has seen steady growth in recent years, in big cities and rural areas alike. It’s not always smooth sailing, and success can be especially challenging when the business is based away from central hubs. Being a female business owner in Sonoma and Marin counties often means finding community support, creating crafty collaborations and nourishing collective efforts to keep businesses thriving and growing. A number of such female-powered ventures are sprouting up across Northern California, and deserve every bit of celebration—Women’s History Month or not. From a chic co-working space to a knitting haven, here are the businesses that make sure local woman power is alive and kicking all year long.
The Hivery, Mill Valley
Breathtakingly beautiful and welcoming, this brand-new coworking space and “inspiration lab” is owned by Grace Kraaijvanger, a woman of many talents. A former ballet dancer, Kraaijvanger has worked in marketing and consulting, and now pours her heart into The Hivery. Catering to an all-women clientele, The Hivery offers a peaceful, Instagram-worthy creative environment in the best traditions of coworking spaces; hosts personal and professional development events; and focuses on empowering women—whether they’re going back to work after a long break or starting a fresh business.
“I started The Hivery because of a deep conviction that every woman has unique gifts that are meant to be brought forth in this world,” Kraaijvanger says. “I believe that women have an instinctual desire to support each other, and that creativity flourishes when women feel connected.”
The Hivery encourages women to use their skills, expertise, wisdom and passions in different ways while exploring new phases in their lives. “Navigating these new chapters alone can feel isolating and depleting,” Kraaijvanger says. “Acting on them together is invigorating and inspiring.”
The Hivery, 38 Miller Avenue, Suite #20, Mill Valley; 415/569-7760; thehivery.com.
Rikshaw Design, Greenbrae
Looking at this brand’s impressive, globally inspired website, it’s hard to believe that the business is right here in our own Greenbrae backyard. Rikshaw Design founder Catherine Hedrick was motivated by her love for Indian textiles when she launched the brand’s first collection in 2008. Since then, the business has grown and has started manufacturing children’s clothing and women’s collections, adorned in colorful Indian prints and made out of 100 percent cotton. Although Rikshaw Design is based in Marin, the brand’s activity takes place mainly in its online store, and through a series of trunk shows that anyone can apply to host—so be on the lookout.
Rikshaw Design, 243 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., Greenbrae; 877/474-5742; rikshawdesign.com.
Flourish and Thrive Academy, Sausalito
“Support” and “nourishment” are clichéd-but-accurate attributes of many female-owned businesses, and Tracy Matthews and Robin Kramer turned them into a business. Matthews, a jewelry designer, and Kramer, a marketing expert based in Sausalito, joined forces over their love of jewelry and launched a virtual “Academy” of tools and materials for budding designers and entrepreneurs in the accessories industry. Together, the women craft online courses with promising names like “Multiply Your Profits” and “Dream Client Intensive,” and help women and men across the country realize their dream venture. The Flourish and Thrive website offers a variety of complimentary materials—podcasts, short lectures and 101 videos led by the witty, fast-paced duo.
Flourish and Thrive Academy, flourishthriveacademy.com
Edition Local, West Marin
Although not exclusively female, this collective of artists and makers includes quite a few talented ladies—jewelry maker Marion McKee, soapmaker Olivia Johnson of Fat + Fallow, (whose products are made of tallow), felter extraordinaire Patricia Briseno of Raw Felt, indigo artisan Carrie Crawford of Mineral Workshop and
Edition Local’s Marion McKee incorporates found objects into her art and jewelry. Photo courtesy of Halley Roberts & Natalie So.
woodworker Gwen Gunheim of Hendley Hard Goods. The collective gathers its members on one beautiful website, where goods by each maker can be purchased, and it “strives to build resilient local economies and champion neighborliness.” While you can find each artisan in his or her own studio, the “power of many” makes Edition Local a real local gem.
The best collaborations are often multidisciplinary. Jam Jar, located in Santa Rosa’s SOFA district, is a great example. Artist Molly Perez and jewelry designer Jamie Jean Wilson decided to join forces and opened the colorful, chic Jam Jar. “We’ve known each other for 15 years, and often talked about going into business together,” Perez says. “I couldn’t handle it all by myself.” Inside, you can find quirky collages and paintings by Perez, earrings and necklaces by Wilson and guests designers, vintage finds
Jam Jar’s Molly Perez (left) and Jamie Jean Wilson joined forces to open their shop in Santa Rosa’s artsy SOFA district. Photo by Kristie Sheets.
and décor items begging to be gifted to a meaningful lady in your life. Jam Jar is a decidedly “neighborhood” shop—one of the two owners will usually greet you with a big smile, and the store is an active participant in all of SOFA’s happenings and events.
Jam Jar, 320 South A St., Santa Rosa; 707/480-8506; mollyperezstudio.com
428 Collective, Healdsburg
An all-women arts collective, 428 organizes art events and presentations and serves as a collaborative marketplace for some of the area’s most cutting-edge artists. Among them are multimedia artists Alice Sutro and Jessica Martin, photographer Caitlin McCaffrey, filmmaker Flora Skivington, painter Christina Hobbs and six other female creatives. In addition to art-themed parties and lectures in the Healdsburg headquarters, the collective keeps an online art store and supports its individual members by promoting their work and major happenings on social media.
“We all bring something different to the table in terms of our experiences, vision, circumstance and general outlook, having a deep respect for one another and an unwavering belief in art’s ability to educate, enhance and unite us in the human condition,” says collective member Victoria Wagner. “There was no presumption or foresight regarding gender; it had much more to do with a sense of community that we naturally formed around having really high regard for one another.”
The Soap Cauldron and Three Sisters Apothecary, Sebastopol
Soap, family and female friendship: Sounds like a recipe for a Hallmark mini-series—or the story behind The Soap Cauldron. Emma Mann began her small soap venture with her daughter, now a student at UC Berkeley, who manages the company’s social media accounts. Located in The Barlow since 2013, The Soap Cauldron is a family business that happens to employ all women, and the theme thrives in Three Sisters Apothecary, a line of care and soap products that the Cauldron produces. “I named it for my sisters and I who are all two years apart,” Mann says. “My sister Marlo was killed in her home back in 2010, which mobilized me on many fronts. My sister Pandora is a payroll and [human resources] specialist and weighs in on our business structure. Her daughter Roxanne and my daughter all work actively in the business with me.”
Together, the group of women makes herbal bar soaps, body butters, shampoo and salves, all packaged in simple, retro-inspired tins.
For lovers of all things yarn and knit, Cast Away & Folk must feel like heaven on earth. Leslie Fiorella, a textile designer, Isla Corbett, a wool artist extraordinaire and Justine Malone, an entrepreneur with a passion for knitting, came together in this adorable Railroad Square space to establish a crafty empire. Along with an
At Cast Away & Folk, you can find everything from fabric and yarn to knitting and tapestry workshops. Photo courtesy of Cast Away & Folk.
elaborate shop that sells fabrics, yarn, crafting and weaving supplies, the bright, cozy spot offers knitting, weaving, crochet and tapestry workshops—for absolute beginners to ambitious knitters—led by the three ladies. “We strive to support each other in running a successful retail store,” says Corbett, who rightfully calls the store’s merchandise “inspiring goods.”
The collaborative effort of two female winemakers, Farmers Jane is a refreshing voice in the local wine industry. Angela Osborne, the woman behind A Tribute to Grace Wine Co., a Southern California label, and Faith Armstrong Foster, who’s based in Napa and makes Onward Wines, have known each other since working a Healdsburg harvest together in 2002. Their joint label produces Rosé, Field White and Field Red wines, craftily constructed from a variety of California grapes. The logo alone—two free-spirited ladies balancing on a wine barrel—is worth some kind of an award; the wine is an instant favorite.
Farmers Jane Wine Company, 707/812.1456; farmersjanewine.com
What would you do if you were a student in a college playwriting class and the assignment was to write something that would be next to impossible to stage? Andrew Hinderaker took up the challenge while a graduate student at the University of Texas, and the result (after necessary adjustments) was Colossal, an experimental work that identified him as someone to watch after it receiveda National New Play-sponsored “rolling world premiere” at five regional theaters during 2014-2015. Its first Bay Area production debuted at the San Francisco Playhouse last weekend, and I suspect that it is just the beginning of our acquaintance with this gifted young writer.
A Texas-based football fan, Hinderaker decided to try to compress a gridiron’s 6,000 square yards of grass onto a theater’s few square feet of playing space. The first step was to create atmosphere. It’s game day. There are cheers from the invisible crowd as the players, armored with helmets and shoulder pads, go through their warm-up exercises in preparation for kickoff. A coach/motivator (Dave Maier) predicts victory as he barks his last-minute instructions. The three-piece drum corps pound out a driving rhythm. A large game clock atop the imaginary stadium ticks toward the opening kickoff. Five minutes. Four. Three. Two. One …
All of these events are called for in Hinderaker’s script, vividly brought to life by Playhouse director Jon Tracy, his creative team of designers and a multi-talented 11-member acting ensemble. Of course, we’re not talking slice-of-life realism. Events and situations are merely suggested, then left to the spectator’s imagination for completion. Some familiar elements are missing. There are no pom-pom girls, marching bands, goal posts, stadium announcers or whistle-blowing referees. Only one actual on-field “play” occurs, and although the game clock divides the action into four 15-minute quarters to further the illusion of reality, Colossal’s 65-minute, no-intermission length is only about half of what a normal game (with its many delays) requires.
In fact, the nods to realism are simply tools used by Hinderaker to demonstrate that it’s not impossible to put football on stage. Early on, however, it becomes apparent that this is only a framework for exploring a number of more important issues. Young Mike (Thomas Gorrebeeck), the team’s star running back, opened a deep rift with his father, Damon (Robert Parsons), when he chose athletics over joining the latter’s respected dance company at a time when Damon’s own talent was fading. Then, in the play’s single live-action sequence that comes just as a lucrative professional contract seems certain, he mistakenly uses a head butt to block an opposing player, causing a spinal injury that puts him in a wheelchair, possibly for life. Eventually, we learn that his carelessness was due to a sudden impulse to protect Marcus (Cameron Matthews), a running back with whom he was having a turbulent clandestine relationship. The injury has left him so depressed that he is unwilling to cooperate with those like his empathetic physical therapist Jerry (Wiley Naman Strasser) who try to help him recover.
Flashbacks generated by imagined conversations between Mike after the accident (Jason Stojanovski) and his pre-accident alter ego (Gorrebeeck) offer narrative continuity. As significant as each of Hinderaker’s issues is, however, taken together they are a bit of an overkill for 65 minutes. The primary feature that makes Colossal exceptional is the way in which the aesthetics of modern dance and college football are shown to be closer than we might have thought. The sight of these macho, violence-prone players shedding their bulky armor during the halftime pause to engage in a dazzling display of movement for its own sake (choreography by Keith Pinto) captures the essence of our human paradox.
Finally, we shouldn’t overlook drummers Alex Hersler, Zach Smith and Andrew Humann. Their pulsing beat throughout the show provides one of the most memorable sound wraps that I’ve ever encountered in the theater.
NOW PLAYING: Colossal runs through April 30 at the San Francisco Playhouse, 450 Post St., San Francisco; 415/677-9596; sfplayhouse.org.
For a first-time parent with no childhood memories of sleep-away camps with cabins in the woods, the notion of sports, cooking and nature camps is a revelation. They are a lifesaver for working parents, and, unsurprisingly, Marin County has a number of them to choose from. Even before I sent my child off to experience a week at Steve & Kate’s, the camp’s reputation for items like sweet and savory crepes, organic ice cream and sushi was renowned.
Since 1980, Steve and Kate Susskind have been offering their special brand of camp experience, geared toward pre-K through 7th graders. Over the past three decades, the Mill Valley-based camp has expanded to 48 sites in 10 states and serves 28,000 kids a year. The self-directed philosophy of the camp works for some kids, and not so well for others. But the food appeals to all.
In an effort to continue to raise the camp’s culinary bar, in August of 2015, the founders hired chef Ryan Smith as their in-house chef and food program designer. The 32-year-old California Culinary Academy graduate, who hails from San Jose and has spent much of his career cooking in South Bay kitchens, is in charge of developing recipes that will be prepared for thousands of summer campers across the country.
“My goal is to make every single item a well-balanced meal,” says Smith, who was so inspired by the opportunity at Steve & Kate’s that he was lured away from a corporate chef job with the food service management group Bon Appétit. “The opportunity to feed kids and give them insight to where their food comes from was too compelling to pass up.”
Before the camps get into full swing, Smith tested out his new recipes on a group of spring day campers in Berkeley. Once results are in, and feedback incorporated, Smith has the task of working with others to create his recipes in sizeable volume, and making sure that every camp can execute and deliver his menus.
Smith is mindful of serving as much organic and clean-label food as possible, and he’s incorporating and substituting ingredients to provide healthier, more nutrient-dense meals. His Turkey Sub includes kale and quinoa, and can be made gluten-free, while his recipe for Mom’s Secret Weapon Pasta Sauce (included here) is packed with fresh vegetables. Smith is also mindful to keep many dishes familiar, but he might swap out mayonnaise for a puréed chickpea hummus or a roasted red pepper spread. He calls it “stealth nutrition.”
Mom’s Secret Weapon Pasta Sauce
Makes 4-6 servings
1 small head of cauliflower (about 8 oz)
1 small head of broccoli (about 4 oz)
1 small zucchini (about 4 oz)
2 large carrots, peeled (about 8 oz)
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 small leek, chopped (about 4 oz)
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large red bell pepper, seeds removed, chopped (about 6 oz)
28 oz can diced San Marzano tomatoes
Salt and pepper to taste
Using a food processor, grater or knife, finely chop cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini and carrots. Keep vegetables separate. Set aside.
Place a large saucepot over medium heat. Add olive oil and leeks, and cook for approximately 5 minutes. Once the leeks become translucent, add the garlic and cook for 1-2 minutes or until golden. Add the bell pepper and cook for another 5 minutes. Add the chopped vegetables to the leek and pepper mixture, stirring frequently. Continue cooking for 5 minutes.
Add canned, diced tomatoes and cover. Let the sauce simmer for 30 minutes. When the vegetables become tender, use a handheld blender to purée mixture, or transfer in small batches to a blender. If using a blender, be careful not to fill more than halfway at a time. When the mixture yields a well-blended sauce, season with salt and pepper. Serve over your favorite pasta, polenta or any other dish that you like.
Hero: With spring upon us, Marinites in search of wildflowers and waterfalls are hitting the trails. A group of hikers on Mt. Tam navigated the High Marsh Trail last week and came upon a beautiful cataract. As Bettie Mansen, of San Anselmo, snapped photos of the waterfall, she dropped her hiking pole down into the steep ravine. Unfortunately, recent storms had created a muddy mess and it was too hazardous for the trekkers to retrieve it. A few days later, Mansen’s pole appeared on her doorstep with a note: “Found your pole on the mountain. Hope you take it many places.” Dan Schwab, you’re a mensch for tracking down a stranger to return her gear. (Let’s take a lesson from Mansen and put ID on our valued belongings.)
Zero: Drinking too much to keep up with motorist laws? Let us clue you in. Driving drunk, hitting a cyclist and fleeing the scene will land you in the pokey. Last Friday evening, a minivan struck and injured Jeffrey McWinney, 54, of San Rafael, while he rode his bike in Sausalito. As officers investigated at the scene of the collision, a quick-thinking witness called 911 to inform dispatchers that the suspect’s vehicle exited Highway 101 at Seminary Drive and pulled into the Chevron on the frontage road. There, the minivan’s driver and passenger switched seats and headed towards Tiburon. Busted. California Highway Patrol arrested Karen Steward, 50, of Tiburon, allegedly the drunk driver who hit the cyclist, and charged her with three felonies. Her passenger is in the hot seat too.
Got a Hero or a Zero? Please send submissions to ni***************@ya***.com.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Artist Steven Spazuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: Soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both well-done and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world, of using soot to make beautiful and interesting things? I think you’re primed to turn waste into building blocks, rot into splendor and lead into gold. (See Spazuk’s work at spazuk.com.)
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Carl Sagan said that science thrives on “two seemingly contradictory attitudes: An openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.” Whether or not you are a scientist, Taurus, I recommend that you practice this approach in the coming weeks. It’s the tool that’s most likely to keep you centered and free of both rigidity and illusion. As Sagan concluded, this is “how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Excess on occasion is exhilarating,” said British author W. Somerset Maugham. “It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” Now would be an excellent time to take that advice to heart, Gemini. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you not only have a license to engage in rowdy fun and extravagant pleasures; it’s your sacred duty. So get out there and treat yourself to an orgy of naughty adventures—or at least a celebration of meaningful thrills. You can return to the rigors of discipline and order once you have harvested the healthy benefits that will come from escaping them.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): At one point in Friedrich Nietzsche’s book Thus Spoke Zarathustra, the hero is having a conversation with himself. “You have wanted to pet every monster,” he says. “A whiff of warm breath, a little soft tuft on the paw—and at once you were ready to love and to lure it.” If I were you, Cancerian, I would regard that type of behavior as forbidden in the coming weeks. In fact, I will ask you not to pet any monsters at all—not even the cute ones; not even the beasties and rascals and imps that have slight resemblances to monsters. It’s time for maximum discernment and caution. (P.S.: One of the monsters may ultimately become a non-monstrous ally if you are wary toward it now.)
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): On a social media site, I posted the following quote from self-help teacher Byron Katie: “Our job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons.” One commenter took issue with this. “‘Pushing buttons’ is a metaphor that’s long past its expiration date,” she wrote. “Can’t you come up with something fresher?” So I did. Here are a few potential substitutes for “push our buttons:” “Tweak our manias” … “prank our obsessions” … “glitter-bomb our biases” … “squeeze our phobias” … “badger our compulsions” … “seduce our repressions” … “prick our dogmas.” Whichever expression you prefer, Leo, find a graceful way to embrace your fate: Your current job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in your life is to tweak your manias and prick your dogmas.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming weeks, you will have maximum power to revise and reinvigorate your approach to cultivating intimate relationships. To aid your quest, I offer this paraphrased advice from Andrew Boyd: Almost every one of us seeks a special partner who is just right. But there is no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why? Because you yourself are “wrong” in some ways—you have demons and flaws and problems. In fact, these “wrongs” are essential components of who you are. When you ripen into this understanding, you’re ready to find and be with your special counterpart. He or she who has the precise set of problems you need—is the person who is wrong for you in just the right ways. (See Boyd’s original quote: tinyurl.com/boydquote.)
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In her book The Winter Vault, Anne Michaels says, “We become ourselves when things are given to us or when things are taken away.” If she’s right, does it mean that we should be grateful for those times when things are taken away? Should we regard moments of loss as therapeutic prods that compel us to understand ourselves better and to create ourselves with a fiercer determination? Meditate on these possibilities, Libra. In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce that the things-getting-taken-away period of your cycle is winding down. Soon you’ll begin a new phase, when you can become a deeper, stronger version of yourself because of the things that are given to you.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I’ll make love when the lust subsides,” sings Denitia, one-half of the electro-pop band Denitia and Sene. That would be a good motto for you to play around with in the coming days, Scorpio—in both literal and metaphorical ways. I’ll enjoy seeing how your emotional intelligence ripens as the white-hot passion of recent weeks evolves into a more manageable warmth. As fun as the intensity has been, it has blinded you to some of the possibilities for collaborative growth that have been emerging. You may now be ready to explore and appreciate sweeter, subtler pleasures.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The poems I have loved the most are those I have understood the least,” said T. S. Eliot. I’m going to steal and expand upon his idea for the purpose of giving you an accurate horoscope. In the coming days, Sagittarius, I suspect that the experiences you love most will be those that you understand the least. Indeed, the experiences you NEED the most will be those that surprise and mystify and intrigue you. Luckily, life will be ingenious in bypassing your analytical intelligence so as to provide you with rich emotional stimuli for your soul.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn painter Henri Matisse made the following testimony about his creative process: “At each stage I reach a balance, a conclusion. At the next sitting, if I find that there is a weakness in the whole, I make my way back into the picture by means of the weakness—I re-enter through the breach—and I reconceive the whole. Thus everything becomes fluid again.” I recommend this approach to you in the coming days, Capricorn. You’ve been making decent progress on your key project. To keep up the good work, you should now find where the cracks are, and let them teach you how to proceed from here.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “We all lead three lives,” said Austrian novelist Thomas Bernhard, “an actual one, an imaginary one and the one we are not aware of.” I suspect that you’ll get big glimpses of your third life in the coming weeks, Aquarius: The one that you’re normally not aware of. It might freak you out a bit, maybe unleash a few blasts of laughter and surges of tears. But if you approach these revelations with reverent curiosity, I bet they will be cleansing and catalytic. They are also likely to make you less entranced by your imaginary life and better grounded in your actual life.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The greatest illusion is not religion,” says aphorist Michael Lipsey. “It’s waking up in the morning imagining how much you’re going to get done today.” But even if that’s often true, Pisces, I suspect that you have the power to refute it in the coming weeks. Your ability to accomplish small wonders will be at a peak. Your knack for mastering details and acting with practical acumen may be unprecedented. For the immediate future, then, I predict that you’ll largely be able to get done what you imagine you can get done.
Homework: Identify your fondest childhood memory, and recreate in the present time the feeling that you had back then. Testify at Freewillastrology.com.
Q: My boyfriend is going to a dinner out of town to get an award for a film he made, and he didn’t invite me. When I told him I felt excluded, he said that he was embarrassed because his parents are paying for his flight and he has to stay with a friend. I get it; he does wonderful work, but he’s still struggling financially. Still, if the tables were turned—if I were getting an award—I would at least tell him I wish he could come.—Upset
A: There are a lot of things Martin Scorsese has been known to say, but one of them is not, “I want you by my side at this festival, and I only have to dig through the trash for 8,234 more cans to make that happen.”
It isn’t surprising that your boyfriend—as a man—is more sensitive about being … as they say … brokeahontas than you would be if the (awards dinner) tables were turned. As I frequently explain, men and women aren’t just physically different; they evolved to have corresponding psychological differences. A biggie comes out of how there was a far greater potential cost to an ancestral woman from any sex act (pregnancy and a kid to feed) compared with the cost to a man: “Gee, that was a whole teaspoonful of sperm!”
So female psychology evolved to push women to look for “providers”—men with access to resources and a willingness to share them. That’s why women go for guys who show signs of wealth, like a temperature-controlled nursery for their sports cars. Wealth is a cue to the all-important ability to bring home the bison. But in ancestral times, we couldn’t hang onto stuff—including food—because we didn’t have refrigerators, let alone houses to keep them in. There was just the meat you could eat before it went bad and your man’s ability to hunt it down. So what does it for a lot of women is potential—signs that a man could soon be, uh, dragging home tasty dead animals (probably shrink-wrapped, unless their guy is good with a crossbow).
You seem to be one of those women. (You get that they don’t give out film awards to just any doof who shoots a cat video on their iPhone.) If you do believe in your boyfriend, tell him—regularly, in detail. If he gets that you’re proud of him and that you’d be happier eating hot dogs on a bench with him than dining with some corporate drone at Le Whatever, he’s less likely to feel he’s failing you by being undercapitalized. This should help him be more inclusive in the future—at least emotionally—when that “historic location” where he’ll be staying is the sagging love seat where his buddy lost his virginity in 1992.
Q: I’m 25, and my boyfriend is 29. He is super-sweet, is a good person and treats me really well. However, recently, he told my roommate that she has “nice cheekbones.” I didn’t say anything, but I think this was inappropriate. It’s not like, “I like your shirt” or whatever. It’s about another woman’s beauty. Can I tell him I don’t want him complimenting other women in the future?—Hurt
A: It says something when a man notices a nice view—like that it’s only a matter of time before he and that pretty orange sunset are sneaking out to his car to have sex.
OK, it’s possible that “nice cheekbones” is man-speak for, “Those are some hypno-hooters you got there, honey.” But maybe he was just trying to say something nice. Or maybe he was mesmerized in a bad way—like, “Whoa … are those forceps marks?”—and he noticed her noticing and ducked for verbal cover.
As for why you find this upsetting, consider that our emotions aren’t just feelings; they tell us what to do. The disturbing emotion of jealousy, for example, is what evolutionary psychologist David Buss calls a “coping device” for “mate retention”—an alarm system that helps us guard against being cheated on. However, sometimes this alarm system can be a little oversensitive and in need of recalibration—like the one at my parents’ house that used to go off whenever my uncle cut one in the den.
In deciding whether you should say something, context matters. You describe your boyfriend as attentive, “super-sweet,” and “a good person.” If he isn’t regularly jawing on about other women’s looks, maybe it’s a little premature to turn your relationship into a repressive regime. Model your free speech policy on that of Iran or North Korea and it’s only a matter of time before you’re in a date-night rut: “So … same old, same old … dinner and a cavity search?”
This week in the Pacific Sun, you’ll find our cover story, ‘Native Revival,’ about indigenous leaders reclaiming stewardship of ancestral territories. On top of that, we’ve got a story about the California push for Bernie Sanders, a report on Good Earth’s new store in Mill Valley, a review of Marin Theatre Company’s ‘Swimmers’ and an interview with Loreena McKennitt, who will be performing in the Bay Area as part of her U.S. trio performance tour. All that and more on stands and online today!
By Richard von Busack
Mortality shades director Michael Showalter’s comedy Hello, My Name Is Doris. The slight but endearing plot has an armature—a significant mention of Tennessee Williams’ play The Glass Menagerie sets the stage. Like poor Laura Wingfield, Doris (Sally Field) has been walled up tending to her aged mother, and is gradually turning into a trash-picker and a...
Story and photos by Molly Oleson
It’s a few minutes after noon on Friday, March 4, and a large group of people, clutching colorful umbrellas, has gathered around the train tracks in San Rafael.
“Wasn’t it supposed to be here at noon?” asks a woman who is huddled under cover from the pouring rain.
“It’s already late!” a man next to her...
By Flora Tsapovsky
Women’s History Month could be a debatable concept, depending on how you approach it. Some say that its existence only highlights the gender gap, while others advocate for its importance in balancing the scale. But regardless of the angle, risk-taking women who support each other is always great news.
Female entrepreneurship—in fields ranging from the arts to tech—has...
By Charles Brousse
What would you do if you were a student in a college playwriting class and the assignment was to write something that would be next to impossible to stage? Andrew Hinderaker took up the challenge while a graduate student at the University of Texas, and the result (after necessary adjustments) was Colossal, an experimental work that identified...
By Tanya Henry
For a first-time parent with no childhood memories of sleep-away camps with cabins in the woods, the notion of sports, cooking and nature camps is a revelation. They are a lifesaver for working parents, and, unsurprisingly, Marin County has a number of them to choose from. Even before I sent my child off to experience a week...
By Nikki Silverstein
Hero: With spring upon us, Marinites in search of wildflowers and waterfalls are hitting the trails. A group of hikers on Mt. Tam navigated the High Marsh Trail last week and came upon a beautiful cataract. As Bettie Mansen, of San Anselmo, snapped photos of the waterfall, she dropped her hiking pole down into the steep ravine. Unfortunately,...
By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Artist Steven Spazuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: Soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both well-done and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world,...
By Amy Alkon
Q: My boyfriend is going to a dinner out of town to get an award for a film he made, and he didn’t invite me. When I told him I felt excluded, he said that he was embarrassed because his parents are paying for his flight and he has to stay with a friend. I get it;...
This week in the Pacific Sun, you'll find our cover story, 'Native Revival,' about indigenous leaders reclaiming stewardship of ancestral territories. On top of that, we've got a story about the California push for Bernie Sanders, a report on Good Earth's new store in Mill Valley, a review of Marin Theatre Company's 'Swimmers' and an interview with Loreena McKennitt,...
