Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): It’s not your birthday, but I feel like you need to get presents. The astrological omens agree with me. In fact, they suggest that you should show people this horoscope to motivate them to do the right thing and shower you with practical blessings. And why exactly do you need these rewards? Here’s one reason: Now is a pivotal moment in the development of your own ability to give the unique gifts you have to give. If you receive tangible demonstrations that your contributions are appreciated, you’ll be better able to rise to the next level of your generosity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Other astrologers and fortunetellers may enjoy scaring the hell out of you, but not me. My job is to keep you apprised of the ways that life aims to help you, educate you and lead you out of your suffering. The truth is, Taurus, that if you look hard enough, there are always seemingly legitimate reasons to be afraid of pretty much everything. But that’s a stupid way to live, especially since there are also always legitimate reasons to be excited about pretty much everything. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to work on retraining yourself to make the latter approach your default tendency. I have rarely seen a better phase than now to replace chronic anxiety with shrewd hope.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At least for the short-range future, benign neglect can be an effective game plan for you. In other words, Gemini, allow inaction to do the job that can’t be accomplished through strenuous action. Stay put. Be patient and cagey and observant. Seek strength in silence and restraint. Let problems heal through the passage of time. Give yourself permission to watch and wait, to reserve judgment and withhold criticism. Why do I suggest this approach? Here’s a secret: Forces that are currently working in the dark and behind the scenes will generate the best possible outcome.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. “All life is an experiment.” I’d love to see you make that your operative strategy in the coming weeks, Cancerian. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, now is a favorable time to overthrow your habits, rebel against your certainties and cruise through a series of freewheeling escapades that will change your mind in a hundred different ways. Do you love life enough to ask more questions than you’ve ever asked before?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Thank you for contacting the Center for Epicurean Education. If you need advice on how to help your imagination lose its inhibitions, please press 1. If you’d like guidance on how to run wild in the woods or in the streets without losing your friends or your job, press 2. If you want to learn more about spiritual sex or sensual wisdom, press 3. If you’d like assistance in initiating a rowdy yet focused search for fresh inspiration, press 4. For information about dancing lessons or flying lessons or dancing-while-flying lessons, press 5. For advice on how to stop making so much sense, press 6.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The cereus cactus grows in the deserts of the southwestern U.S. Most of the time it’s scraggly and brittle-looking. But one night of the year, in June or July, it blooms with a fragrant, trumpet-shaped flower. By dawn the creamy white petals close and start to wither. During that brief celebration, the plant’s main pollinator, the sphinx moth, has to discover the marvelous event and come to gather the cactus flower’s pollen. I suspect this scenario has metaphorical resemblances to a task you could benefit from carrying out in the days ahead. Be alert for a sudden, spectacular and rare eruption of beauty that you can feed from and propagate.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If I had more room here, I would offer an inspirational PowerPoint presentation designed just for you. In the beginning, I would seize your attention with an evocative image that my marketing department had determined would give you a visceral thrill (like maybe a photoshopped image of you wearing a crown and holding a scepter). In the next part, I would describe various wonderful and beautiful things about you. Then I’d tactfully describe an aspect of your life that’s underdeveloped and could use some work. I’d say, “I’d love for you to be more strategic in promoting your good ideas. I’d love for you to have a well-crafted master plan that will attract the contacts and resources necessary to lift your dream to the next level.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I advise you against snorting cocaine, MDMA, heroin or bath salts. But if you do, don’t lay out your lines of powder on a kitchen table or a baby’s diaper-changing counter in a public restroom. Places like those are not exactly sparkly clean, and you could end up propelling contaminants close to your brain. Please observe similar care with any other activity that involves altering your consciousness or changing the way you see the world. Do it in a nurturing location that ensures healthy results. P.S. The coming weeks will be a great time to expand your mind if you do it in all-natural ways such as through conversations with interesting people, travel to places that excite your awe and encounters with provocative teachings.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In late 1811 and early 1812, parts of the mighty Mississippi River flowed backwards several times. Earthquakes were the cause. Now, more than two centuries later, you Sagittarians have a chance—maybe even a mandate—to accomplish a more modest rendition of what nature did way back then. Do you dare to shift the course of a great, flowing, vital force? I think you should at least consider it. In my opinion, that great, flowing, vital force could benefit from an adjustment that you have the wisdom and luck to understand and accomplish.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’re entering into the Uncanny Zone, Capricorn. During your brief journey through this alternate reality, the wind and the dew will be your teachers. Animals will provide special favors. You may experience true fantasies, like being able to sense people’s thoughts and hear the sound of leaves converting sunlight into nourishment. It’s possible that you’ll feel the moon tugging at the waters of your body and glimpse visions of the best possible future. Will any of this be of practical use? Yes! More than you can imagine. And not in ways you can imagine yet.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This is one of those rare grace periods when you can slip into a smooth groove without worrying that it will degenerate into a repetitive rut. You’ll feel natural and comfortable as you attend to your duties, not blank or numb. You’ll be entertained and educated by exacting details, not bored by them. I conclude, therefore, that this will be an excellent time to lay the gritty foundation for expansive and productive adventures later this year. If you’ve been hoping to get an advantage over your competitors and diminish the negative influences of people who don’t empathize with you, now is the time.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “There is a direct correlation between playfulness and intelligence, since the most intelligent animals engage in the greatest amount of playful activities.” So reports National Geographic. “The reason is simple: Intelligence is the capacity for learning, and to play is to learn.” I suggest that you make these thoughts the centerpiece of your life in the coming weeks. You’re in a phase when you have an enhanced capacity to master new tricks. That’s fortunate, because you’re also in a phase when it’s especially crucial for you to learn new tricks. The best way to ensure it all unfolds with maximum grace is to play as much as possible.

Homework: Do you let your imagination indulge in fantasies that are wasteful, damaging or dumb? Stop it! Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

Advice Goddess

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By Amy Alkon

Q: I’m a woman looking for a new boyfriend and considering various online dating sites. Some have long questionnaires, and they factor your answers into an “algorithm” to match you with the best possible partner. Are these sites significantly better than the others?—Site Seeker

A: Most people will tell you that they want to be accepted for who they really are—yet those doing online dating rarely post profiles with stuff like, “I like long walks on the beach, fine dining, and obscenely large breasts.”

In light of this, sites using these compatibility “algorithms” would seem to have some added value. However, according to a massive online dating analysis by social psychologist Eli Finkel and his colleagues, this algorithm stuff mainly seems to be a “science!”-flavored marketing ploy. The researchers explain that it’s “virtually impossible” for sites to do what they promise with these algorithms: “Match people who are uniquely suited to one another” and who are likely to have a “satisfying and lasting long-term relationship” together.

As the Finkel team notes about the “uniquely suited” business: The evidence suggests that these algorithms are really no better at rooting out compatible partners than the matching most people already do themselves with sites’ search parameters—culling the herd of breathing, profile-posting humans down to, say, fellow Ph.D.s who are also weekend Satan worshippers.

Even more outrageous is the sites’ claim that this mathematical alchemy can identify two people who can have a lasting, happy relationship together who have yet to even meet. The researchers point out that the algorithms only measure the “individual characteristics of partners” (personality, attitudes, values, background). They note that this is just one of three essential variables that determine whether relationships sink or swim.

The other two are elements that can’t really be sussed out before two people are in a relationship. One is the “circumstances surrounding (a) couple”—like how they fit into each other’s family and whether one loses their job or goes through other major stressors. The other factor is the “interactions between the partners”—how partners communicate, solve problems and support each other.

I would add an essential fourth factor that needs to be assessed face to face—physical attraction. So, regarding those “29 dimensions of compatibility!” that one site advertises, consider, if you will, 30 and 31: Discovering “this must be what dead bodies smell like when the detectives cover their nose with a hanky on TV,” and “I’m as sexually attracted to you as I am to a stalk of wheat.”

There’s also the “garbage in, garbage out” problem (statisticians’ shorthand for how poor-quality input leads to poor-quality output). It’s unlikely that people are any more honest and accurate in filling out these questionnaires than they are in their online dating profiles.

Typically, deception in online dating profiles is intentional; sometimes we can’t quite see ourselves as we really are. For example, take an item on one of these sites’ compatibility surveys: “I try to accommodate the other person’s position.”

There are seven little circles on a scale to blacken in, from “not at all” to “very well.” Well, OK, but do control freaks always understand that they’re control freaks? Sometimes somebody seriously controlling might fill in “very well” on “I try to accommodate … ” simply because they see themselves in the best light—instead of the actual light: “I’m Stalin—though I’ve never been able to grow much of a mustache.”

Probably the best that can be said about these personality questionnaires is that they might lead you into a little helpful introspection. But otherwise, these tests seem as pointless as they are grueling.

This isn’t to knock online dating itself, which offers really rapid, easy access to a lot of potential partners whom you’d probably never meet otherwise. However, it helps to have a smart strategy vis-a-vis the potential pitfalls, and that’s meeting any person you think might be a possibility ASAP (before you have any long, bond-y text-athons).

Meeting pronto gives you the best shot at seeing whether you click, as well as spotting any vast differences between profile and reality. And as I always advise about first dates, keep it cheap, short and local. Less investment means less disappointment if you find out a guy’s lying—or, maybe worse, if he’s being honest: He really is looking for his “partner in crime”—because one of the guys on his robbery crew got arrested last week.

This Week in the Pacific Sun

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This week in the Pacific Sun, our cover story, ‘Surreal Stage,’ follows singer/actor Phillip Percy Williams as he sings the national anthem at a Giants game. On top of that, we’ve got a piece on the creative ice cream flavors at Larkspur’s Posie, an interview with Butcher Brother Mitch Altieri about gory filmmaking, a review of Marin Shakespeare Company’s ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ and an interview with Onye Onyemaechi of Onye & the Messengers. All that and more on stands and online today!

Film: Ape-Opera

By Richard von Busack

Comparing movies to food is the hack’s crutch, but Matt Reeves’ excellent War for the Planet of the Apes is like a parfait made of several delicious levels.

In their redwoods hideout, Caesar (Andy Serkis) and his apes hold out against an attack by the humans. Gorilla scouts lead the way for the humans, in a skirmish of spears and arrows versus gun-power. After winning the battle, Caesar gets word of a possible homeland in the desert.

What starts as a war movie becomes a Western, complete with Caesar as a grim Chimp Eastwood on horseback. Caesar even acquires a Walter Brennan sidekick in the form of the piebald, cracked Bad Ape (Steve Zahn, demonstrating boggling synthespian skills). As they ride out to find a new homeland, they adopt Nova (Amiah Miller), a helpless mute girl; it’s like the version of The Searchers that film fans always dream about, told from the Comanches’ point of view.

Then to Spartacus as Caesar harrows a slave-labor camp. Woody Harrelson brilliantly apes Brando, as a bald, beyond-the-beyond Colonel in charge. Finally, War resolves itself as a hairier version of The Ten Commandments, complete with a twist on the Red Sea inundation.

Rather than looking like a dog-eared swipe-file, this terrific ape-opera honors the originals. It has the freshness of a story that you’re hearing for the first time. The apes have dignity and innocence, and are the kind of noble savages that few film viewers could possibly enjoy in human form. The political satire in this Apes movie is as timely as this film is, likely, timeless. War sets the stage for the astronaut Taylor’s arrival from the skies in the 1968 Planet of the Apes, and the shocking news he will bring—news as unbelievable as the theory of evolution is to the religious—of the apes’ long-ago subordination to humanity.

Music: Master Mix

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By Charlie Swanson

When master percussionist and mentor Onye Onyemaechi isn’t leading mystical journeys in the deserts of Morocco or presenting weeklong sessions on the spirituality of drumming in Munich, Germany, he leads the dynamic afrobeat band Onye & the Messengers in the North Bay, where he’s lived for the last 25 years.

Known for a dance-inducing repertoire of African rhythms blended with jazz, funk and splashes of reggae, Onye & the Messengers will be getting the crowd moving at the San Rafael Downtown Farmers’ Market on Thursday, July 13.

Born in Nigeria, Onyemaechi studied business in Boston, but ultimately chose the musical life over the corporate one in the early 1980s. “Now, my business is to make people happy, to help them be joyful in what they do so they can excel in their own development,” he says.

Onyemaechi moved to the North Bay in 1989 and founded Village Rhythms as a way to present drumming and music in a multitude of educational programs. A celebrated performing and recording artist, he takes the rich tradition of afrobeat from his native Nigeria and spreads peaceful, positive values with a worldly rhythm.

“Music is a gift to humanity,” Onyemaechi says. “Music is a way to share storytelling, culture and rites of passage.”

Made up of several seasoned Bay Area musicians, Onye & the Messengers excel at showcasing the technicality of afrobeat’s polyrhythmic sound, as well as the music’s intuitive flair.

“What I do with the band is to allow them to be free, to be available within their own creative means,” Onyemaechi says. “To let the music speak for itself.”

Onye & the Messengers, Thursday, July 13, San Rafael Downtown Farmers’ Market, 1000 Fourth St., San Rafael; 6pm; sanrafaelmarket.org.

Theater: Slap-Happy

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By Charles Brousse

Hee haw! Pass the moonshine!

Each weekend through July 23, Marin Shakespeare Company (MSC) is transporting audiences on a journey to small-town Appalachia for a two-hour romp through one of the Bard’s most popular comedies, Much Ado About Nothing. It’s Shakespeare, country style—a bowl of grits seasoned with lumps of corny, thigh-slapping humor and toe-tapping musical interludes. Unless you’re a literary purist or genetically averse to an evening of wonderful theatrical entertainment performed “under the stars” in the company’s Forest Meadows Amphitheatre, you won’t want to miss it. Such opportunities don’t come around every day.

In their unceasing quest to find ways of freshening 16th century plays for audiences that may have become jaded by too many repetitions of the inner circle of favorites, producers have often turned to “concepts” that alter their setting and time frame, while retaining as much as possible of the original dialogue. Sadly, of the many I’ve attended, few have been successful. The Wild West Taming of the Shrew that was developed in the late 1960s at the College of Marin (COM) drama department is an exception, and now comes a similarly themed Much Ado.

Both broad comedies were originally set in southern Europe (Italy and Sicily, respectively) during the Renaissance. The colorful characters who inhabit them are timeless archetypes whose absurd antics are easily transposed across the centuries. For MSC adapter/director Robert Currier in Much Ado, it is mythical Appalachia (Pikeville, Kentucky, to be precise), home to the feuding Hatfield and McCoy clans. Currier is also helped by the fact that, as the title suggests, Shakespeare didn’t intend his comedy to be more than an entertainment. Unlike the dramas and history plays, there are no power struggles or moral dilemmas to resolve.

Currier has assembled an excellent cast to bring his vision to life. Much of the pre-opening buzz was around his casting of Dameion Brown, a “graduate” of MSC’s theater program at Solano State Prison, in the key role of Benedick. He’s the confirmed bachelor whose prickly relationship with the equally stubborn Beatrice forms Much Ado’s core. Brown excelled as the Moor in last season’s Othello, but people wondered whether someone with so little training and experience would know what to do with comedy. Within five minutes of his appearance on stage, all doubts vanished. Brown is a natural, pure and simple. I doubt that anything—comedy, drama or farce—lies beyond his range.

Elena Wright’s Beatrice is a worthy competitor as she and Brown jockey for position in what turns out to be an unusual courtship dance. Steely when it counts, meltingly romantic when events finally topple her resistance, Wright makes the transitions without skipping a beat.  

A subplot involves the on-again, off-again relationship between Hero (Nicole Apostol Bruno), daughter of Leonato (Steve Price), a wealthy property owner, and her suitor Claudio (Joshua Hollister), who has just returned from one of the frequent clan skirmishes. Both actors give it their all, but their underwritten story—which begins on a strong note—gradually fades in the shadow cast by Beatrice and Benedick until it is resurrected in the play’s final minutes.

Space limitations prevent consideration of everyone’s work, except to say that there isn’t a weak link among them. Likewise, I can only note the impact of Billie Cox’s country-western songs, especially the lament hauntingly sung by Claudio as he realizes that the serious error he has made may cost him his chance to win Hero’s affection. Jackson Currier’s rustic set and Abra Berman’s spot-on costumes greatly enhance the atmosphere.

All in all, it’s a fine evening of outdoor summer theater. One can almost taste that flavorful Kentucky moonshine!

NOW PLAYING: Much Ado About Nothing runs through July 23 in Dominican University’s Forest Meadows Amphitheatre, 890 Belle Ave., San Rafael; 415/499-4488; marinshakespeare.org.

Talking Pictures: Gory Fun

By David Templeton

“I like darkness,” says Mitch Altieri. “Darkness is fun.”

I’ve met writer/director Altieri—one half of the cult-movie filmmaking duo known as The Butcher Brothers—to talk about the nuts and bolts of filling the screen with blood and guts. His office is filled with posters and props from his various efforts: 2010’s The Violent Kind, about demonically possessed bikers; 2013’s snake-handling thriller Holy Ghost People; the recent The Night Watchmen, its poster fusing a frightening image of an enormous clown with a group of uniformed guards and the tagline, “Let’s go kill some dead people!”

“Have you seen the trailer for The Night Watchmen?” Altieri asks.

“Not yet,” I admit. “Though I did watch the trailer for A Beginner’s Guide to Snuff,” I add, pointing to the poster over Altieri’s desk.

“We were going for a ’90s kind of vibe with Snuff,” he says. “With Night Watchmen, we went super-1980s.” Altieri turns to his computer to call up the trailer. “Making this one was really fun. The movie’s got a lot of goofball antics, monsters, blood, gore and gratuitous nudity. We wanted to make something with the tone of a Ghostbusters movie—only really, really bloody. And with clowns.”

Based on what I witness, The Night Watchmen appears to be the story of some hapless guards at a large office building, attempting to survive one long night when their building is invaded by a voracious vampire clown and his ravenous evil-clown minions. In the trailer’s fast-paced 90 seconds, there are bites to the face, pencils to the chest and gunshots to the head, plus plenty of clowns—clowns in coffins, clowns on the ceiling and clowns on fire.

“And there’s the gratuitous nudity,” I note as a fleeting moment of spontaneous toplessness takes place in the middle of a terrifying chase scene.

“I wasn’t on set when they filmed that, where the woman’s top is torn off by the dead guys,” Altieri says. “I was in another part of the building filming a different scene. They sort of came up with that and did it. It’s pretty great, though. Very 1980s.”

In the final seconds of the trailer is a snippet of a scene where a dead guy is shot through the eye, and immediately spouts a gusher of blood all over the recoiling night watchmen.

“That’s thoroughly gross, and totally hilarious,” I say. “Nice blood effects.”

“We had awesome FX on this movie,” Altieri says with a grin.

After a promising start with the 2006 comedy Lurking in Suburbia, Altieri and his filmmaking partner Phil Flores took to heart some advice about how investors prefer to put their money into genre films, particularly horror films. Altieri and Flores donned their bloody fraternal moniker and created The Hamiltons, a horrifically entertaining splatter flick about a family of young adult vampires.

The film premiered at Sundance, and has since become a kind of underground hit, eventually spawning a London-set sequel, The Thompsons. Based on The Hamiltons, the Butcher Brothers were offered the remake of the classic 1986 serial killer movie, April Fool’s Day. The rest is history. Really, really bloody history.

Altieri now sometimes directs outside the Butcher Brothers brand.

“I did Beginner’s Guide to Snuff in November of 2015, and as we were wrapping Snuff, I was suddenly hired to do The Night Watchmen,” he explains. “So, there I was, location-scouting in Baltimore in January, and we went into production in February.

“After wrapping it, I was in post-production with Night Watchmen while also doing post on Beginner’s Guide to Snuff. During that period, my father passed away. It was such a crazy time in my life, man. I was really close to my father. So that was rough—and at the same time, I was posting two movies at once. By the end of the year, I was exhausted. Absolutely exhausted.”

“I suppose there are worse things than being overworked doing your all-time dream job, right?” I point out.

“Exactly,” Altieri replies. “I’m definitely not complaining. I’ve gone through it all, starting with being completely independent, making a movie for no money in my own hometown, to making studio films where Sony executives are yelling at me all the time, to being at Sundance and premiering at SXSW [South by Southwest].

“I’ve had this amazing decade-and-a-half-long experience, and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it,” he continues. “I mean, I get to scare people and get paid for it. I’m having a whole lot of fun.”

Food & Drink: Creative Cones

By Tanya Henry

This week, Posie, the uber hip, chef-owned ice cream parlor in downtown Larkspur, will mark its first year in business. With flavors like Grass Fed and Rose & Rhubarb, Posie is not your mother’s ice cream shoppe.

Black chalkboards with chunky, Scrabble-like lettering denote the store’s offerings, and the sleek open space boasts both a counter with stools and a communal table. Plenty of glass windows, high ceilings and white wainscoting give the room a modern, stylish vibe.

Owner Kyle Caporicci, San Anselmo resident and pastry chef, brings his considerable culinary acumen to his new gig. His résumé includes stints at San Francisco’s Campton Place and Michelin-starred Commis in Oakland. He knows his way around the kitchen—and it should be noted that along with cones, Posie’s menu also includes several baked sweets and a couple of sandwich and salad options, including a grilled cheese sandwich for kids.

But it’s summertime and it’s the ice cream that steals the show here. Twelve different flavors are offered daily, and customers can opt for house-made, gluten-free cones or compostable cups. The Grass Fed flavor includes wheat grass and olive oil. I know—those do not sound like ingredients that should be anywhere near an ice cream cone, but quite remarkably they work. The Pink Panther combined marshmallow, raspberry and strawberry, and was a bit cloying for my taste. Two other flavors stood out as unusual and tasty: A Blueberry Magnolia and a #1 Dad that boasted steel-cut oats.

Along with wildly inventive flavors, Caporicci prepares his ice cream base and pasteurizes it in-house. He says that this gives him creative control to adjust the base for every unique flavor. Since the range of ingredients can vary from rhubarb and fresh mint to violets and olive oil, I imagine that there is a fair amount of tweaking involved.

Prices are high, but then again, not all ice cream is created equal. And quite often these cones boast fresh-from-the-farmers’-market ingredients.

Posie, 250B Magnolia Ave., Larkspur; 415/891-8395.

Feature: Surreal Stage

By David Templeton

It’s three days after the Fourth of July, and the pre-game audience at San Francisco’s AT&T Park is being treated to a voice-over description of the safety procedures should an earthquake or hurricane hit the waterfront baseball stadium. The massive jumbotron flashes a constant barrage of images, announcements, reminders and facts. A tech crew hustles about, assembling various pieces of audio and video equipment while thousands of loud, excited, snack-bearing people fill the vast rows of seats.

Singer/actor Phillip Percy Williams—just moments after doing a quick microphone check at the edge of the baseball diamond, and after a long traffic-snaggled drive from Marin—is valiantly ignoring all of that, purposefully avoiding glancing up at the crowd, and otherwise working hard to stay calm.

After all, Williams has a job to do, and it’s an important one. In just three or four minutes, he’ll be stepping out onto the impeccably groomed baseball field and taking his place—roughly halfway between home plate and the pitcher’s mound—to sing the national anthem. It’s an iconic and surprisingly weighty little piece of modern American culture, the singing of the anthem, both celebrated and taken-for-granted, and occasionally hotly debated. Williams is about to do it before an estimated crowd of 40,000 people, including several friends and colleagues from the Bay Area theater community and his job at the Mt. Tam Orthopedics and Spine Center, along with the entire San Francisco Giants and Miami Marlins baseball teams.

“This is something that’s been on my bucket list for a while,” he calmly but happily notes, cautiously allowing himself to wave at a few thumbs-upping friends who’ve just made their presence known up in the seats. For additional support, his husband Mike and his mother-in-law Karol are nearby, ready to offer support, administer hugs and join Williams in prayer just before taking the field.

Being asked to sing the anthem at a Major League Baseball game, notes Williams, is a very big thing.

“It’s just one of those experiences,” he says, “that, as a singer, you always know is out there as a possible thing to do, if you are ever lucky enough to be asked to do it. And when it happens, it just seems so surreal you almost can’t believe you’re doing it.”

Williams is waiting near the audio station, directly in front of the media dugout, which is adjacent to the visiting team’s dugout. Hovering helpfully nearby is Amanda Suzuki, from the Marketing and Entertainment department of the San Francisco Giants. The main contact for all visiting performers selected to sing the national anthem during Giants’ home games, Suzuki coordinates those performers—one for every home game, including pre-season and post-season games. She is good at what she does, juggling complex logistics with a bit of confidence-boosting cheerleading and on-the-spot relaxation therapy.

“If I could sing, this would be on my bucket list, too,” she tells Williams, generously adding, “But I can’t sing—so it’s a really good thing that you can.”

Yes he can. Originally from Mobile, Alabama, Williams worked for several years as a singer with Carnival Cruise Line, and spent more than 10 years as part of the cast of San Francisco’s Beach Blanket Babylon. Currently, he works as MRI Liaison at the Spine Center, a flexible “day job” that allows him to pursue an array of musical and theatrical projects. Williams performs weekly at San Rafael Joe’s in downtown San Rafael, with the Percy Williams Trio. In recent years, he’s been appearing almost constantly on stage in plays and musicals, and in 2014, he won the San Francisco Bay Area Theater Critics Circle award for Principal Actor in a Musical, for his role in Return to the Forbidden Planet, produced by Curtain Theater and Marin Onstage. Most recently, he played Mrs. White in Clue: The Musical, at Napa’s Lucky Penny Community Arts Center, where he will be appearing again this September in Chicago. But first, there’s a certain song to sing.

“Let’s go over your introduction,” Suzuki tells Williams, showing him her clipboard with the words about to be spoken by Giants announcer Renel Brooks-Moon. Williams reads through it and nods. “In just a minute,” Suzuki says, “we’ll walk out and get in place.” She points to where a monitor and microphone are waiting for him. The video and audio crews are already getting into position. “The camera will be on you as you walk out and get into position, so feel free to wave, smile, whatever you’re comfortable with. And have fun.”

“That’s good,” Williams says, taking a deep breath. “‘Have fun’ is good.”

On the P.A. system, Brooks-Moon’s recognizable voice has just run through another series of reminders, and concludes with, “And now, sit back, get ready for the Giants, and enjoy the game!”

“OK! Ready?” asks Suzuki. “Let’s go.”

Williams is led out onto the field, where he is given the microphone, and told to wait for his cue. Standing in the shadowy late-afternoon light, he finally allows himself to look up and around, bows his head briefly, takes another breath and waits.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” comes Brooks-Moon’s voice again, “please remove your hats, as we honor America with our national anthem. Performing the ‘[The] Star-Spangled Banner,’ please welcome Bay Area performer Phillip Percy Williams.”

Williams waits until the applause has just begun to fade, and then begins.

Williams’ performance, done a cappella, is graceful and moving, hitting all of the marks and nailing the high note on “land of the free” with a soaring falsetto that brings spontaneous cheers from the crowd—a huge assemblage of human beings that Williams will later note is easily the largest audience he’s ever had in his life.

As he walks back to where Mike and Karol are waiting with enormous hugs, Williams acknowledges the applause, finally allowing himself to show his emotions with a joyful laugh and a massive grin that is part, “I’m glad that’s over” and part, “I can’t believe that just happened!”

Suzuki offers her farewells, makes sure Williams and his group have their tickets for the game, and departs. Out on the field, the sound equipment is quickly cleared, the ceremonial first pitch is tossed, the Giants and the Marlins trot one-by-one out onto the field and the game begins. On his way up into the seats, Williams is stopped every few feet, greeted over and over by dozens of new fans and a few old friends, all stepping over from their own seats to shake his hand, offer high-fives, lean in for an earnest ‘thank you’ and generally share their appreciation of his performance.

“I feel like it’s still happening,” Williams says with a sigh, after settling into his seat. “I think it might take me a while to calm down. But, you know, I feel pretty good. I’m really happy.

“That said,” he adds, with a laugh, “I might not be able to eat again for days.”

The national anthem has not always been a part of Major League Baseball games. For that matter, the song known to many as “The Star-Spangled Banner”—and the melody that the lyrics are sung to—have not always been our national anthem. The words, of course, originated as a poem by lawyer Francis Scott Key, reflecting on his observations of the British attack on Fort McHenry in Maryland during the War of 1812. Key saw that the flag flying over the fort was left surprisingly intact the next morning, despite incessant artillery rained down on the fort through the night.

Though some criticize the American national anthem for being a glorification of war, a careful reading of the text reveals it more accurately to be a celebration of the survival of war—and one of the few national anthems of any country that is focused on the dangerous adventures of an inanimate object. Beyond that, the most frequent criticism of the American national anthem is that it is much too hard to sing. The irony of this is that the melody of the anthem was never intended for professional vocalists, but was specifically composed to be sung by deeply inebriated amateur musicians.

The Anacreontic Society was an 18th century English men’s club devoted to, and named for, the ancient Greek poet and celebrated inebriate Anacreon. The club’s anthem, “The Anacreontic Song,” set to a tune composed by John Stafford Smith, is a celebration of music, singing and the consumption of wine. The tune became fairly well-known outside of the exclusive club—which faded away in the 1790s—and was often used as the melody of other poems, usually intended to be sung in taverns.

Which leads to the conclusion that, for all of its notorious musical difficulty, the secret to singing the national anthem might be, if not getting somewhat bombed to sing it, simply relaxing a bit and not trying so hard.

Once paired together, “The Anacreontic Song” and “The Star-Spangled Banner”—originally named “Defense of Fort McHenry”—took a very long while to be officially instated as America’s national anthem. Believe it or not, it wasn’t until 1931, following a derisive newspaper cartoon by Santa Rosa’s Robert Ripley in his syndicated “Believe It or Not” series, that Congress finally passed a bill that named “The Star-Spangled Banner” the country’s national anthem.

By then, it had already become common for the song to be performed at the beginning of baseball games, a tradition that supposedly began at the 1918 World Series in Chicago, when it was played by a military band during the seventh inning. The tradition took a while to spread to every single game, in part because of the cost of hiring a full military band.

Today, the singing of the national anthem is as much a part of the baseball experience as are the consumption of hot dogs and a willing overpayment for beer. The Giants, as do all other baseball franchises, annually receive thousands of offers to perform the anthem. Through a process of online application and the sending of performance videos, those thousands are whittled down to a select group of chosen choruses, ensembles and solo singers. As of Friday, July 7, that group now includes Phillip Percy Williams.

Two days after the game (the Giants lost to the Marlins, 6 to 1), having fielded an overwhelming number of congratulations and positive reviews from friends, Williams is finally calm enough to look back at the once-in-a-lifetime experience.

“You know what was great, in a way, for me?” he asks. “It was getting stuck in traffic.

“For me, I’m the kind of performer who can get myself stressed, so it’s better to focus on something else,” Williams continues. “So I ended up stuck in traffic, and I was later to the park than I wanted to be, but that was good. I was able to walk in, do the soundcheck, pray a little and never have time to get nervous. That’s when I soar. If I sit too long waiting, the nervousness can snowball. And who needs that?”

Williams notes that, for him personally, the most powerful moment of the whole experience was during those few seconds that he spent out on the field, waiting for the cue to begin singing.

“My mom passed away a long time ago,” he says. “But she was a singer. She owned places where people sang. And she’s always been a part of my journey as a performer, even though she died when I was young, and she never got to see me do all of the things I’ve done.”

Even after acknowledging the cultural significance of singing the anthem at a Major League game, performing for such a large audience and everything else, Williams says it was that moment that he will always treasure the most.

“I took a moment to bring her in, to bring her there with me onto the field,” he says. “She was definitely there with me. I needed her to be there. And she was.”

So what’s next on Williams’ bucket list?

“I’d like to do Shakespeare, and I’d like to write a play,” he says. “One where I can sing and tell stories. I have a few really good ideas. Those are next for me, I think.”

Asked if he might one day write a show about his long journey from Mobile, Alabama, to San Francisco, from dreaming of performing to doing it on one of the largest stages in America, Williams laughs.

“Maybe,” he says. “Maybe. I mean, I did just sing the national anthem at AT&T Park. So anything is definitely possible.”

“The Star-Spangled Banner”

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,

What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming,

Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight

O’er the ramparts we watch’d were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket’s red glare, the bomb bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there,

O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

“The Anacreontic Song”

To Anacreon in Heav’n, where he sat in full Glee,

A few Sons of Harmony sent a Petition,

That He their Inspirer and Patron wou’d be;

When this Answer arriv’d from the Jolly Old Grecian.

“Voice, Fiddle, and Flute,

“no longer be mute,

“I’ll lend you my Name and inspire you to boot,

“And, besides, I’ll instruct you like me, to intwine

“The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Unless you were raised by a pack of feral raccoons or a fundamentalist cult, now is a perfect time to dive into your second childhood. Is there a toy you wanted as a kid but never got? Buy it for yourself now! What were the delicious foods you craved back then? Eat them! Where were the special places you loved? Go there, or to spots that remind you of them. Who were the people you were excited to be with? Talk with them. Actions like these will get you geared up for a full-scale immersion in innocent eagerness. And that would be just the right medicine for your soul.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What I wish for you, Taurus, is toasted ice cream, secrets in plain sight and a sacred twist of humorous purity. I would love for you to experience a powerful surrender, a calm climax and a sweeping vision of a small but pithy clue. I very much hope that you will get to take a big trip to an intimate turning point that’s not too far away. I pray that you will find or create a barrier that draws people together instead of keeping them apart.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Dr. Seuss’s book, Horton Hatches the Egg, an elephant assumes the duty of sitting on a bird’s egg, committed to keeping it warm until hatching time. The nest is located high in a tree, which makes the undertaking even more incongruous. By the climax of the tale, Horton has had to persist in his loyal service through a number of challenges. But all ends well, and there’s an added bonus: The creature that’s born is miraculously part-bird, part-elephant. I see similarities between this story and your life right now, Gemini. The duty you’re carrying out doesn’t come naturally, and you’re not even sure that you’re doing it right. But if you keep at it till it’s completed, you’ll earn a surprising reward.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s prime time for you to break through any inhibitions you might have about accessing and expressing your passion. To help you in this righteous cause, I’ve assembled a batch of words that you should be ready to use with frequency and sweet abandon. Consider writing at least part of this list on your forearm with a felt-tip pen every morning so it’s always close at hand: Enamored, piqued, enchanted, stirred, roused, enthused, delighted, animated, elevated, thrilled, captivated, turned-on, enthralled, exuberant, fired up, awakened.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Matt Groening, creator of the cartoon series The Simpsons, says that a great turning point in his early years came when his scoutmaster told him that he was the worst Boy Scout in history. While this might have demoralized other teenagers, it energized Groening. “Well, somebody’s got to be the worst,” he triumphantly told the scoutmaster. And then, “instead of the earth opening up and swallowing me, instead of the flames of hellfire licking at my knees—nothing happened. And I was free.” I suspect that you may soon be blessed with a comparable liberation, Leo. Maybe you’ll be released from having to live up to an expectation that you shouldn’t even live up to. Or maybe you’ll be criticized in a way that will motivate your drive for excellence for years to come.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Nineteen of my readers who work in the advertising industry signed a petition requesting that I stop badmouthing their field. “Without advertising,” they testified, “life itself would be impossible.” In response, I agreed to attend their re-education seminar. There, under their tutelage, I came to acknowledge that everything we do can be construed as a kind of advertising. Each of us is engaged in a mostly unconscious campaign to promote our unique way of looking at and being in the world. Realizing the truth, I now feel no reservations about urging you Virgos to take advantage of the current astrological omens. They suggest that you can and should be aggressive and ingenious about marketing yourself, your ideas and your products.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2003, the American Film Institute announced the creation of a new prize to honor acting talent. Dubbed the Charlton Heston Award, it was designed to be handed out periodically to luminaries who have distinguished themselves over the course of long careers. The first recipient of the award was, oddly enough, Charlton Heston himself, born under the sign of Libra. I hope you’re inspired by this story to wipe away any false modesty you might be suffering from. The astrological omens suggest that it’s a favorable moment to create a big new award named after you and bestow it upon yourself. As part of the festivities, tell yourself about what makes you special, amazing and valuable.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Here’s your riddle: What unscratchable itch drives you half-crazy? But you’re secretly glad it drives you half-crazy, because you know your half-craziness will eventually lead you to an experience or resource that will relieve the itch. Here’s your prophecy: Sometime soon, scratching the unscratchable itch will lead you to the experience or resource that will finally relieve the itch. Here’s your homework: Prepare yourself emotionally to fully receive and welcome the new experience or resource. Make sure that you’re not so addicted to scratching the unscratchable itch that you fail to take advantage of the healing it’s bringing you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The best way to go forward is to go backward; the path to the bright future requires a shadowy regression. Put another way, you should return to the roots of a triumph in order to find a hidden flaw that might eventually threaten to undo your success. Correct that flaw now and you’ll make it unnecessary for karmic repercussions to undermine you later. But please don’t get all solemn-faced and anxious about this assignment. Approach it with humorous self-correction and you’ll ensure that all goes well.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Are you familiar with the psychological concepts of anima and animus? You’re in the midst of being intoxicated by one of those creatures from inner space. Though you may not be fully conscious of it, you women are experiencing a mystical marriage with an imaginal character that personifies all that’s masculine in your psyche. You men are going through the analogous process with a female figure within you. I believe this is true no matter what your sexual orientation is. While this awesome psychological event may be fun, educational and even ecstatic, it could also be confusing to your relationships with real people. Don’t expect them to act like or live up to the very real fantasy that you’re communing with.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): As a recovering save-the-world addict, I have felt compassionate skepticism towards my fellow junkies who are still in the throes of their obsession. But recently I’ve discovered that just as a small minority of alcoholics can safely take a drink now and then, so can a few save-the-world-aholics actually save the world a little bit at a time without getting strung-out. With that as a disclaimer, Aquarius, I’m letting you know that the cosmos has authorized you to pursue your own brand of fanatical idealism in the coming weeks. To keep yourself honest, make fun of your zealotry every now and then.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The potential breakthrough I foresee for you is a rare species of joy. It’s a gritty, hard-earned pleasure that will spawn beautiful questions you’ll be glad to have awakened. It’s a surprising departure from your usual approach to feeling good that will expand your understanding of what happiness means. Here’s one way to ensure that it will visit you in all of its glory: Situate yourself between the fabulous contradictions in your life and say, “Squeeze me, tease me, please me.”

Homework: What was the pain that healed you most? What was the pleasure that hurt you the worst? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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