This Week in the Pacific Sun

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This week in the Pacific Sun, our cover story, ‘Blue State Blues,’ dives into the debate surrounding offshore drilling in California. On top of that, we’ve got a piece on the upcoming Cheesemonger Invitational, a story about the late filmmaker George Romero and the magic that his daughter remembers, and an interview with the North Bay’s Rainbow Girls about their original, three-part harmonic folk music. All that and more on stands and online today! And don’t forget to vote for your favorite Marin businesses in our 2018 Best of Marin readers’ poll

Film: Family Drama

The Michael Haneke film Happy End, made up of an all-star cast, is a chilly story of the decadence of a French family. It commences with the merciless gaze of a cell-phone camera spying down a hallway: 13-year-old Eve (Fantine Harduin) secretly filming her mother as she prepares for bed. The off-camera daughter affectionlessly describes every dull stage of her mother’s nightly preparation in Textese. The mother, who we never meet in closeup, is later found OD’d on her depression meds. Eve comes to live with her surgeon father Thomas (Mathieu Kassovitz), his new bride and their new baby, and soon discovers evidence of Thomas cheating on wife no. 2, in the form of obscenely passionate emails.

There’s some money in this family—a Calais-based construction business run by Thomas’s sister Anne (Isabelle Huppert). The company had a large mishap, described as “a series of unfortunate coincidences,” digging the block-wide foundation for a building.

The Laurents aren’t very gentle with each other. Anne chides her troubled son for helping himself to too deep a glass of wine. Eve tests out her mother’s prescriptions on her hamster—the animal doesn’t survive. The ancient and decaying patriarch of the family, 85-year-old Georges (Jean-Louis Trintignant) tells Eve the tale of a mercy killing—a reflection of the one Trintignant carried out in Haneke’s last film, Amour. The ambient bitterness makes the film’s title a euphemism: Suicide is some people’s idea of a happy ending.

Tolerate the acidity of these episodes, and the film can seem bracingly dry. There are flashes of comedy, and even a sort of dignified warmth in the scenes between Georges with his fading memory, and his granddaughter Eve with her own unkillable sadness. Happy End isn’t a simple social critique or an adolescent romanticization with suicide: In this bleak, acute vision of decline, it’s clear that stronger marriages or more honesty wouldn’t have helped these people any more than the meds did.

Music: Real Harmony

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In the eight years that vocalists, multi-instrumentalists and songwriters Erin Chapin, Caitlin Gowdey and Vanessa May have lived and sung together, they have developed a natural, intuitive and unified musical mission under the name Rainbow Girls.

“Playing as part of this collective has given me an opportunity to find harmony in my own life, in the most natural sense of the word,” May says. “To bring that to other people is really important and has been a driving force for me.”

In November, Rainbow Girls unveiled their first album as a trio, American Dream, that lyrically touches on experiences of love, loss and what May calls the political storm going on. “There’s been a lot of dissonance around, people having a hard time finding where they fit in,” she says. “Rainbow Girls’ and my own journey with this is to help people find that harmony in their own lives.”

Named after the so-called “Rainbow House” where the three first met and hosted weekly open mics while attending school in Santa Barbara, the Rainbow Girls moved to Bodega Bay after college, living in a cottage on Gowdy’s grandparents’ property when they’re not touring the U.S. or Europe.

“We moved up to the North Bay and at first felt like it wasn’t home because we were traveling so much and had such deep roots in Santa Barbara, but as soon as we started doing open mics again, we realized we do have friends here and we do have something to contribute to this community,” May says.

The 10-track American Dream is a culmination of their growth. “Sometimes you know exactly where you’re supposed to be,” May says, “and other times we try to create something that is unexpected.”

Rainbow Girls opens for Seattle folk-pop band Kuinka on Thursday, Jan. 18 at Sweetwater Music Hall, 19 Corte Madera Ave., Mill Valley; 8pm; $15-$17; 415/388-3850.

Arts: Magic Details

“My dad always told me, ‘You can make people believe anything,’” recalls filmmaker Tina Romero, daughter of the legendary writer/director George Romero, creator of Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead and several others. “My dad knew that if you can dream it up, and you can commit to and believe in your own idea, you can convince them of anything. You can convince them that the dead are rising from their graves and coming to eat their brains. The impossible can become reality, if you commit to it enough—and you pay attention to the details.”

Tina Romero, of New York City, has won awards for her short films and music videos, and has made a name for herself as a prominent DJ (she goes by DJ TRx), primarily spinning at LGBT parties and queer nightlife clubs in New York. She’s currently at work on her first feature-length film, a decidedly Romero-esque horror movie about the zombie apocalypse, seen through the eyes of the patrons at a drag nightclub.

“It’s called Queens of the Dead,” reveals Romero, adding that her father, who passed away in July of 2017, talked with her at length about the project before his death. “I’m going into the zombie genre with my dad’s blessing, though I’m doing it my own way. My films tend to be more musical than scary, so we’ll see.”

I spoke with Romero just before Christmas, and her father was very much on her mind.

“My dad was the ultimate Santa Claus,” Romero says. “It’s funny, because people know him for his horror work, but in real life, he couldn’t have been more of a teddy bear. He loved all kinds of magical kid stuff. He had a dark mind as well, obviously, but he would find these great ways to make Christmas all about the magic.

“Instead of just putting a lot of presents under the tree, Dad would be inventive,” Romero says. “We’d come downstairs on Christmas morning, and Santa would have replaced our carpet. Or changed the flowers in all the vases, putting them in some sort of Christmas-themed arrangement. And Santa would always have these obstacles he’d encounter.”

One Christmas when their family was living in Florida, there was no fireplace in their home, and when the kids came downstairs on Christmas morning, there were no presents waiting for them.

“We kids didn’t know what had become of Santa, but then we noticed that, sticking down from the attic, there was this piece of red cloth,” she says. “And when we pulled down the attic door, this big red stocking fell down with all these gifts in it, with a note from Santa, saying, ‘Sorry guys, I couldn’t find the chimney!’

Another year, everything was outside on the back patio, along with Rudolph’s reindeer harness, which had somehow been left behind. “The best was the year Santa lost his wallet,” Romero says. “[It] had currency in it, from all over the world. There was a frequent-shopper card for the Hallmark store, and one for the Rothschild Big and Tall store. There was a reindeer-feed business card. There was an international driving permit, a Humana health insurance card. There were postage stamps. The details were amazing.”

Santa’s wallet contained a number of photos with notes on them—things like, “Me and Martha, Leningrad, 1991” and “Dasher on his 90th birthday.”

“It just really kept the fantasy alive,” Romero says. “I loved it! I loved the crumbs left on the cookie plate after Santa had been there, all the little details of magic. Whatever project my dad tackled, he went full force.”

It’s a tradition that Tina Romero continues, though hardly to the degree her father did.

“On Christmas, my girlfriend and I will sign things ‘From Santa,’ and do a little bit here and there,” she says, “and it always makes me think of my dad, and how special he made everything.”

Asked whatever became of the wallet, Romero is ready with the answer. “Oh, I still have it,” she says with a laugh. “I have a tiny fireproof box with the deed to my apartment, my social security card—and that wallet.”

Romero’s one regret is that her father never had a chance to write and direct a movie about Christmas.

“Unfortunately, he really got pigeonholed in the horror genre,” she says. “They wouldn’t let him make anything other than a horror movie. But if he had, I’m pretty sure it would have been the greatest Christmas movie of all time.”

Feature: Blue State Blues

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Last week, Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom was one of numerous elected officials from around the state and the nation, and across the partisan divide, to tee off on U.S. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke for his decision to exempt offshore drilling in the vacation state of Florida while failing to do the same for blue states such as California with big tourist economies of their own.

The move by Zinke highlighted a federal energy policy under President Donald Trump to open offshore drilling, but only if it doesn’t mess with the president’s view from Mar-a-Lago.

Newsom zeroed-in his critique, via a few pointed tweets directed at Zinke, over the secretary’s rationale for giving Florida a pass from fulfilling the Trump administration’s offshore-drilling plans as detailed in a report released this month from the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management (BOEM), which operates under the aegis of the Department of the Interior.

Newsom noted that Zinke cited the impact on the state’s tourism industry as the signal driver behind his decision to keep the drilling rigs from view of beachgoers and vacationers. Zinke did not, however, extend the same courtesy to other states with a robust tourist economy: Oregon, New York, Virginia and, of course, California.

Newsom had the numbers on hand to make his point. Florida, he noted in a series of tweets directed at Zinke, had 113 million visitors in 2016, while California had 269 million statewide visitor trips. Tourists in Florida spent $109 billion; in California, they spent $126.3 billion.

“Using this logic,” tweeted Newsom, “CA’s coasts should be declared free of offshore drilling as well. Or do blue states not get exemptions?”

So far, they do not. The BOEM document, the 2019-2024 proposed draft for the National Outer Continental Shelf Oil and Gas Leasing Program (the OCS, for short), sets out a Trump-approved schedule for renewed offshore drilling from the North Atlantic around the bend of the Gulf of Mexico, and up to Northern California and the Pacific Northwest.

Under the OCS, the federal government will sell drilling leases in Northern California in 2021, and then again in 2023. The feds would offer new lease sales in Southern California in 2020 and 2022. The Central California region would also see new potential leases in 2021 and 2023.

The last offshore drilling leases in Northern California were sold in 1963, when seven exploratory wells were drilled offshore, “with no commercial discoveries,” according to the BOEM report. That same year, a dozen exploratory wells were drilled in Central California and, similarly, no oil was found. Oil was discovered in Southern California, which is where all the current leases are.

The idea is that this time around, improvements in oil-exploration technology may yield something other than mud. The problem is that those improvements are causing grave concern among opponents of offshore drilling—a concern that’s been met with outrage over the Zinke duplicity in Florida.

“Offshore drilling is inherently dangerous,” says Kristen Monsell, a senior attorney at the Center for Biological Diversity. The Oakland-based Monsell notes that the practice “causes dangerous pollution, risks devastating oil spills that kill marine life and harm coastal communities, and exacerbates the climate crisis.”

The advent of offshore fracking, which would be allowed by the Trump administration’s plan, “only heightens those risks,” she says. That process involves blasting a high-pressure water-and-chemical stew into the ocean floor, which cracks rocks and exposes oil or gas fields. “The high pressures used in offshore fracking increase the risk of well failure and oil spills.”

Then there’s the back end, says Monsell. Federal rules allow petrochemical companies to “dump their waste fluids, including fracking chemicals, into the ocean,” she says. “Scientists have identified some commonly used fracking chemicals to be among the most toxic in the world to aquatic life.”

Her organization is pushing to end all offshore drilling and vows to fight the Trump move in court. “We need to transition away from this dirty, dangerous practice and toward a clean-energy future.”

There are currently 43 offshore-drilling leases in the state of California, and all of them are in the southern part of the state off the coast of Ventura and Santa Barbara. Those wells were first drilled in 1963, and there have been 102 lease sales since the first wells were drilled and 1984. California is the third largest oil-producing state in the country, but as the Tea Party–affiliated California Policy Center noted in a 2014 report on offshore drilling in the state, crude oil production “had been declining prior to 2012.”

The advent of directional drilling could save the day for California, notes drilling advocate and author Tim Considine in a 2014 paper titled “The Benefits and Costs of Oil and Gas Development in California.” He writes that the practice “offers the possibility of safely accessing a significant portion of the estimated 10 billion barrels of offshore oil and gas from land-based drilling rigs.” Commercial drilling activity in Northern California waters had been restricted by Congress from 1991 through 2008, when President Obama moved to ban future offshore drilling activities, in one of his last moves as president.

Numerous state officials and agencies provided public comments to the Department of the Interior as it was hashing out its offshore-drilling plans—including the California Coastal Commission and the California State Lands Commission, the two agencies that would hold the key to any potential expansion of offshore drilling. They were joined by the state’s Office of the Attorney General and the California Fish and Game Commission, who all opposed the Trump plan to open California waters.

The coastal commission is responsible for implementing federally approved coastal-management programs but is “steadfastly opposed to any new leasing in ‘frontier’ areas of the OCS,” acknowledges the BOEM report. New drilling activities would mean new drilling platforms, pipelines “and other infrastructure that would likely cause significant adverse effects on coastal resources.”

Under Gov. Jerry Brown, the state has greatly expanded its onshore drilling for natural gas, often using fracking to free up trapped pockets of the gas. He was one of numerous state officials to weigh in negatively on the BOEM plan.

In its comment to the BOEM, the coastal commission cites impacts to commercial fishing, tourism, marine wildlife and wetlands, and says that “expanded use of fracking and other well-stimulation treatments increases the risk of an oil spill occurring and potentially causing devastating statewide environmental impacts.”

In his comments to the BOEM, California Attorney General Xavier Becerra said that there are plenty of drilling opportunities in the state and that “this lack of leasing of areas offshore California has not posed an obstacle to the development of plentiful supplies of domestic oil and gas.”

Becerra also observes in his BOEM comment that oil companies were not exactly falling over themselves to pursue new drilling exploratory wells in state waters—given, among other things, regulatory impediments from the state—even if there’s general support in the industry to undo the Obama no-drill push.

The Shell Oil Company, for example, urged Zinke in the BOEM report to “make new OCS areas available to assess the extent of United States energy resources,” as it expressed disappointment in the Obama administration for banning offshore drilling and urged Trump to “quickly replace the current national OCS program and grant access to new areas.” Shell has numerous leases in Southern California waters. So do the Koch Brothers.

Where offshore drilling is already being undertaken in California, localities have also chimed in with dismay at expanded leasing. The city of Santa Barbara is opposed to any new oil and gas lease sales and also voted on a city resolution in 2017 that pledged a “phase-out of all oil and gas extraction and a framework for responsible renewable energy development.”

Curiously, and perhaps tellingly, Chevron U.S.A., which operates a robust oil-and-gas refinery operation in Richmond, was less demonstrative than Shell in its embrace of the new drilling timetables in the BOEM report, especially as it relates to drilling in California. It appears that Chevron is not at all interested in pursuing drilling or exploration in Central or Northern California. In its comments to the BOEM, the company did say the federal government “should move expeditiously to open unavailable submerged lands with believed resource potential for exploration and development.”

But Chevron also provided a ranking to the BOEM of its most desirable areas for exploration and development. Its first three are three regions of the Gulf of Mexico under consideration for expanded drilling (last week Zinke exempted the Eastern Gulf, which abuts Florida, from drilling). The next three are three regions of the Atlantic Ocean, and “the Southern California Planning area was ranked seventh.” The company did not comment on drilling in Central and Northern California in the BOEM report—or in a follow-up email sent in response to questions from the Pacific Sun about its plans post-Zinke. Unlike Exxon, the company currently has no offshore leases in California.

“Chevron encourages expansion of domestic and global energy production, including development of energy resources on federal lands onshore and offshore,” says Veronica Flores-Paniagua, a spokeswoman for Chevron North America. “Our U.S. offshore priorities are continued exploration in the Gulf of Mexico deepwater, and to better understand the potential of the Atlantic waters off the East Coast.”

This year, says Flores-Paniagua, the company plans to invest $3.3 billion in its holdings in the Permian Basin (located in the American Southwest), out of a total $8 billion planned domestic investments.

As it set out to reopen offshore drilling, the BOEM also heard from Florida’s Department of State and other of its agencies engaged in wildlife conservation. NASA also chimed in with concerns of its own about offshore rigs’ affecting future space missions.

Those comments appeared to hold sway over Zinke last week, while California’s concerns were brushed off.

Florida is led by Republican Gov. Rick Scott, who supported Donald Trump for president in 2016. The state as a whole went for Trump that year in edging out Hillary Clinton by about 100,000 votes. The president spends significant time in the state, playing golf at Mar-a-Lago, a resort that boasts a lovely view of the Atlantic Ocean.

Zinke’s announcement regarding Florida, says Monsell, “clearly shows the total incompetence of this administration. One day it’s in the plan and a few days later it’s out? That’s not at all how the process is supposed to work.”

She notes that the federal Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act, enacted in 1953, “requires the administration to consider several specific factors in developing an offshore oil and gas leasing plan in light of national energy needs and the risks of offshore drilling.”

“Helping Republicans to win elections,” she adds, “certainly isn’t one of those factors.”

Monsell invoked the administration’s penchant for fickleness in the move to exempt Florida.

“Basic principles of administrative law require the agency to carefully consider its decisions and public input, not change its mind on a whim. Notably, a former White House ethics chief finds it problematic that the secretary has [decided to] exclude the state with Mar-a-Lago while many other governors have voiced their opposition to leasing.”

Former White House ethics chief, Walter Shaub, tweeted the following at the president last week: “So you are exempting the state that is home to the festering cankerous conflict of interest that the administration likes to call the ‘Winter White House’ and none of the other affected states?”

All the attention on Zinke and the BOEM report, says Robert Bea, has only served to underscore a key piece of the debate over offshore drilling that hasn’t gotten nearly the attention: Trump administration proposals in the federal register that would roll back advances and regulations that were developed after the 2010 BP Deepwater Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.

Bea, a professor emeritus at Berkeley, is an engineer and risk-assessment analyst who worked as a consultant for BP in the aftermath of the worst human-made environmental disaster in the nation’s history. He supports offshore drilling when done properly, and last year got a call from Australian officials who were then puzzling over a BP proposal to drill in the environmentally sensitive Great Australian Bight. The proposal put to the Australian parliament, says Bea, was to do “exploratory drilling in an environmentally sensitive area, basically using the same approaches and systems that they’d used in the Gulf of Mexico with Deepwater.”

Bea’s ultimate assessment was that it was too risky to drill—that the risk of a major environmental disaster was not offset by any urgency to extract the oil—and the experience stayed with him.

“When I saw this current two-pronged proposal in offshore California and other sensitive areas,” he says, “I pushed into gear the same thinking. And based on the administration’s proposal to roll back the regulations, I think the answer is pretty clear, and the answer is that the risks associated with [the BOEM] proposal are not acceptable or tolerable.”

Bea stresses that he is not at all opposed to offshore drilling and says that the rigs “are a part of our human struggle to recognize and exploit the blessings of our natural resources. I wouldn’t scream about the exploring of natural resources unless we are doing it irresponsibly.”

Bea has reached out to other nations, including Great Britain and Norway, which host international energy-exploration firms of their own, to gauge their response to the Trump one-two push on deregulating and expanding the offshore-drilling industry stateside.

“There is not one who thinks these current proposals are sensible or rational,” he says.

Food & Drink: Cheese Olympics

Cheese is having a moment. In recent years, mixologists, butchers and beekeepers have received widespread recognition for their artisanal craftsmanship—but this level of acknowledgment and appreciation has been a long time coming for cheesemongers. The pros are revered in Europe for their acumen—but only recently has the American public started to realize just what it takes to work behind a cheese counter.

The Cheesemonger Invitational, also referred to as the Olympics of Cheese, is scheduled to take place on Sunday, January 21 in San Francisco and will leave no doubt that there is much more to cheese than simply whether it’s made from cow, sheep or goat milk.

“There is so much education in this work,” says Hilary Green, who is employed at Cowgirl Creamery in Point Reyes Station and will be competing. Green joins more than 30 mongers from as far away as Florida, New York and Louisiana.

Now in its eighth year (fifth in San Francisco), the 48-hour competition requires contestants to embark on a cheese decathlon that includes tasting, cutting, wrapping, sales and perfect pairings. The initial portion of the event takes place behind closed doors, and on Sunday only six remaining contestants vie for the winning title. The top 10 finishers are awarded prizes.

“The only way we can get the cheese out to consumers is by supporting the cheesemakers,” says Vanessa Tilaka, who works at Fisher’s Cheese & Wine in the Marin Country Mart, and will be competing in the invitational for the first time.

Attendees at the competition will be treated to contestants’ perfect-bite creations, cutting and wrapping demonstrations and the opportunity to taste delicious samples of some of the country’s finest cheeses.

The Cheesemonger Invitational, Sunday, Jan. 21, 5pm-10pm; Public Works, 161 Erie St., San Francisco; 21 and over; $60; cheesemongerinvitational.com.

Hero & Zero: Kindness & Self-Entitlement

Hero: Getting your vein poked with a needle is no fun. For the many patients waiting recently at the Kaiser lab in Terra Linda, it became nightmarish. First, the computers went down and the staff scrambled to keep the lab running. Next, a man having his blood drawn began screaming obscenities. Susan, an interfaith minister in Marin who was preparing for her own lab work to be done, watched the hullabaloo unfold. “The entire waiting room tensed up,” she said. All the while, the beautiful phlebotomist wearing red braids remained unruffled and worked to soothe the angry man with her kindness. The situation was defused. “The entire staff in that Kaiser lab deserves recognition for their handling of the potentially chaotic situation,” Susan said. Well done.

Zero: Why did Neil cross the road? To get to the middle-aged woman whose vehicle appeared to be broken down in front of Fairfax Lumber & Hardware. The black sports car was stopped in the middle of the street, blocking traffic, and cars were forced to pull around. Neil, a longtime Fairfax resident, approached the car and found the woman on her phone, chattering away. When he asked if he could help, she gestured that she was on the phone. She finally stopped her conversation long enough to say, “This is Fairfax and people won’t mind driving around me.” Taken aback, Neil replied that Fairfax folks are considerate of each other. Still, she stayed put and continued her call. Marin is doomed when the self-entitled invade even Fairfax.

This Week in the Pacific Sun

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This week in the Pacific Sun, the cover story of our Health & Wellness issue, ‘Personal Touch,’ features the Marin-based GYMGUYZ—in-home personal trainers. On top of that, we’ve got a story on the cannabis conundrum after a recent move by Jeff Sessions, a piece on the ketosis experience and a rational look at the superfood trend. All that and more on stands and online today! And don’t forget to vote for your favorite things about Marin in our annual Best of Marin readers’ poll!

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’m happy to inform you that life is giving you permission to be extra demanding in the coming weeks—as long as you’re not petty, brusque or unreasonable. Here are a few examples that will pass the test: “I demand that you join me in getting drunk on the truth;” “I demand to receive rewards commensurate with my contributions;” “I demand that we collaborate to outsmart and escape the karmic conundrums we’ve gotten ourselves mixed up in.” On the other hand, Aries, ultimatums like these are not admissible: “I demand treasure and tribute, you fools;” “I demand the right to cheat in order to get my way;” “I demand that the river flow backwards.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the phrase “Open Sesame?” In the old folk tale Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, it’s a magical command that the hero uses to open a blocked cave where treasure is hidden. I invite you to try it out. It just may work to give you entrance to an off-limits or previously inaccessible place where you want and need to go. At the very least, speaking those words will put you in a playful, experimental frame of mind as you contemplate the strategies you could use to gain entrance. And that alone may provide just the leverage you need.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): While thumping around the internet, I came across pointed counsel from an anonymous source. “Don’t enter into a long-term connection with someone until you’ve seen them stuck in traffic,” it declared. “Don’t get too deeply involved with them until you’ve witnessed them drunk, waiting for food in a restaurant for entirely too long or searching for their phone or car keys in a panic. Before you say yes to a deeper bond, make sure you see them angry, stressed or scared.” I recommend that you take this advice in the coming weeks. It’ll be a good time to deepen your commitment to people who express their challenging emotions in non-abusive, non-psychotic ways.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): My high school history teacher Marjorie Margolies is now Chelsea Clinton’s mother-in-law. She shares two grandchildren with Hillary Clinton. Is that something I should brag about? Does it add to my cachet or my happiness? Will it influence you to love me more? No, nah and nope. In the big scheme of things, it’s mildly interesting but utterly irrelevant. The coming weeks will be a good time for Cancerians like you and me to renounce any desire we might have to capitalize on fake ego points like this. We Crabs should be honing our identity and self-image so they’re free of superficial measures of worth. What’s authentically valuable about you?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If I were your mentor or your guide, I’d declare this the Leo Makeover Season. First, I’d hire a masseuse or masseur to knead you firmly and tenderly. I’d send you to the nutritionist, stylist, dream interpreter, trainer and life coach. I’d brainstorm with the people who know you best to come up with suggestions for how to help free you from your illusions and infuse your daily rhythm with 20 percent more happiness. I’d try to talk you out of continuing your association with anyone or anything that’s no damn good for you. In conclusion, I’d be thorough as I worked to get you unlocked, debugged and retooled.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “It takes an extraordinary person to carry themselves as if they do not live in hell,” says writer D. Bunyavong. In accordance with the astrological omens, I nominate you Virgos to fit that description in the coming weeks. You are, in my estimation, as far away from hell as you’ve been in a long time. If anyone can seduce, coax or compel heaven to come all the way down to Earth for a while, it’s you. Here’s a good way to get the party started: Gaze into the mirror until you spy the eternal part of yourself.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In accordance with the astrological omens, I encourage you to move the furniture around. If you feel inspired, you might even want to move some of that old stuff right out the door and haul it to the dump or the thrift store. Hopefully, this will get you in the mood to launch a sweeping purge of anything else that lowers the morale and élan around the house: Dusty mementoes, unflattering mirrors, threadbare rugs, chipped dishes and numbing symbols. The time is ripe, my dear homies, to free your home of deadweight.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When he was 16 years old and living in New York, Ralph Lifshitz changed his name to Ralph Lauren. That was probably an important factor in his success. Would he have eventually become a famous fashion designer worth $5.8 billion dollars if he had retained a name with “shitz” in it? The rebranding made it easier for clients and customers to take him seriously. With Ralph’s foresight as your inspiration, Scorpio, consider making a change in yourself that will enhance your ability to get what you want.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1956, the prolific Spanish poet Juan Ramón Jiménez was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. The award committee praised his “high spirit and artistic purity.” The honor was based on his last 13 books, however, and not on his first two. Water Lilies and Souls of Violet were works he wrote while young and still ripening. As he aged, he grew so embarrassed by their sentimentality that he ultimately tried to track down and eradicate every copy. I bring this to your attention, Sagittarius, because I think it’s a favorable time for you to purge, renounce or atone for anything from your past that you no longer want to be defined by.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Three centuries ago, Capricorn genius Isaac Newton formulated principles that have ever since been fundamental to scientists’ understanding of the physical universe. He was also a pioneer in mathematics, optics and astronomy. And yet he also expended huge amounts of time and energy on the fruitless attempt to employ alchemy to transform base metals into solid gold. Those efforts may have been interesting to him, but they yielded no lasting benefits. You Capricorns face a comparable split. In 2018, you could bless us with extraordinary gifts or else you could get consumed in projects that aren’t the most productive use of your energy. The coming weeks may be crucial in determining which way you’ll go.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A rite of passage lies ahead. It could and should usher you into a more soulful way of living. I’m pleased to report that this transition won’t require you to endure torment, confusion or passive-aggressive manipulation. In fact, I suspect that it could turn out to be among the most graceful ordeals you’ve ever experienced—and a prototype for the type of breakthrough that I hope will become standard in the months and years to come. Imagine being able to learn valuable lessons and make crucial transitions without the prod of woe and gloom. Imagine being able to say, as musician PJ Harvey said about herself, “When I’m contented, I’m more open to receiving inspiration. I’m most creative when I feel safe and happy.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Kalevala is a 19th century book of poetry that conveys the important mythology and folklore of the Finnish people. It was a wellspring of inspiration for English writer J.R.R. Tolkien as he composed his epic fantasy novel The Lord of the Rings. To enhance his ability to steal ideas from The Kalevala, Tolkien even studied the Finnish language. He said it was like “discovering a complete wine-cellar filled with bottles of an amazing wine of a kind and flavor never tasted before.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Pisces, in 2018 you will have the potential of discovering a source that’s as rich for you as Finnish and The Kalevala were for Tolkien.

Homework: I’ve gathered all of the long-term, big-picture horoscopes I wrote for you: http://bit.ly/YourGloriousStory2018.

Advice Goddess

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Q: My husband and I have been married for eight years. We have a 5-year-old son, and we both work full-time. We used to have these amazing crazy sex marathons, but now we’re too tired from our jobs and parenthood. We have sex about once a month, if that. I’m worried that this isn’t healthy for our marriage.—Sex Famine

A: The good news: You two are still like animals in bed. The bad news: They’re the sort on the road that have been flattened by speeding cars.

This is something to try to change, because sex seems to be a kind of gym for a healthy relationship. Clinical psychologist Anik Debrot and her colleagues note that beyond how sex “promotes a stronger and more positive connection” between partners, there’s “strong support” in the research literature for a link between “an active and satisfying sexual life and individual well-being.”

Of course, it’s possible that individuals who are happy get it on more often than those who hate their lives and each other. Also, rather obviously, having an orgasm tends to be more day-brightening than, say, having a flat tire.

However, when Debrot and her colleagues surveyed couples to narrow down what makes these people having regular sex happier, their results suggested that it wasn’t “merely due to pleasure experienced during sex itself.” It seems it was the affection and loving touch (cuddlywuddlies) in bed that led couples to report increased “positive emotions and well-being”—and not just right afterward but for hours afterward and even into the next day.

The researchers found a longer-lasting effect, too: In a survey of 106 couples (all parents with at least one child younger than 8), the more these partners had sex over a 10-day period, the greater their relationship satisfaction six months down the road.

My prescription for you? Have sex once a week—a frequency that research by social psychologist Amy Muise finds, for couples, is associated with greater happiness. Also, go easy on yourselves. Consider that some sex is better than, well, “sex marathon or nuthin!”

And then, seeing as affection and loving touch—not sexual pleasure—led to the improved mood in individuals and increased relationship satisfaction in couples, basically be handsy and cuddly with each other in daily life. Act loving and you should find yourself feeling loving.

Q: My boyfriend broke up with me last month. We still talk and text almost every day. We’re still connected on social media. We’ve even had dinner twice. I feel better that he’s still in my life, even just as a friend, though we don’t work as a couple. Is this healthy, or am I prolonging some sort of grief I’m going to have to feel down the road?—Clinging

A: Your approach to a breakup is like having your dog die and then, instead of burying it, having it taxidermied and taking it out for “walks” in a little red wagon.

Note the helpful key word—“break”—in breakup. It suggests that when someone tells you, “It’s over!” the thing you say isn’t, “Okey-dokey! See you tomorrow for lunch!” As painful as it is to stare into a boyfriend-shaped void in your life, continued contact is the land of false hopes—fooling you into thinking that nothing’s really changed (save for your relationship status on Facebook).

In fact, research by social psychologist David Sbarra finds that contact offline after a breakup amps up feelings of both love and sadness, stalling the healing process. Staying in touch online—or just snooping on your ex’s social media doings—appears to be even worse. For example, social psychologist Tara Marshall found that “engaging in surveillance of the ex-partner’s Facebook page inhibited postbreakup adjustment and growth above and beyond offline contact.”

This makes sense—as your brain needs to be retrained to stop pointing you toward your now-ex-boyfriend whenever you need love, attention or comforting. Tell your ex that you need a real break, and stick to it. Block him on social media. Drawbridge up. No contact of any kind—no matter how much you long to hear, “Hey, whatcha up to tonight? How ’bout I come over and slow down your healing process?”

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