The Beyers are the kind of family most people want living next door. For years, they lived harmoniously with their neighbors on a quiet block of Pine Street in Sausalito.
Now, they say some of their neighbors want them out.
To be sure, several neighbors are unhappy with the Beyers’ plans to renovate their traditional one-story cottage to a modern three-story house. Unhappy might be an understatement. It’s gotten downright ugly, replete with accusations, name calling and even a call to the police.
The saga had a joyous beginning. In 2017, Jake Beyer and Georgia Glassie Beyer were renting a Sausalito apartment. They loved the neighborhood and searched for a nearby home to buy. As luck would have it, they found 426 Pine St., a charming cottage built in the 1920s. And then they learned their first baby was on the way.
“It was serendipity,” Glassie Beyer told me in an interview. “I know this is where we’re meant to be.”
The couple checked into whether the zoning code would allow for expansion of the 1,319 square foot home. It did, so they plunked down $1.5 million and moved in.
One, two, then three children. The Beyer family quickly grew to five members, and the two-bedroom, two-bath home felt like it was bursting at the seams.
But the Beyers had a vision. Three years ago, they began designing their dream home. Little did they know that some of their neighbors would consider it a nightmare.
I stumbled upon the situation while scrolling on Nextdoor, a social media platform that often plays host to neighborhood feuds. Earlier this month, Beyer posted a plea for people to support the renovation project by sending letters to the Sausalito Planning Commission. To date, the post has garnered 270 comments, most positive, some not.
Beyer’s post provided a link to a professionally produced, 10-minute video about his family and their struggles to get their renovation approved. The Beyers also created a comprehensive website containing the proposed plans, a section on the dissenting neighbors and a timeline of project milestones.
Clearly, the Beyers are on a public relations mission, and with good cause. The city’s powerful planning commission and long-time residents have a reputation for resisting change.
From the beginning, the couple knew the approval process wouldn’t be a cake walk. They’d also have to work with the constant staff turnover in Sausalito’s planning department, which is responsible for reviewing and analyzing planning permit applications.
“We’ve been through six different city planners,” Beyer said during one of my several interviews with him. “Building in Sausalito is difficult.”
Brandon Phipps, Sausalito’s community and economic development director, confirmed that the planning department hired five new planners in the last year—100% turnover.
In addition, a design review by the five-member Sausalito Planning Commission, required for significant renovations, can take as long as several months or more, depending on factors such as the project’s complexity and opposition by neighbors. The commission’s decisions are based on both objective and subjective criteria, Phipps said.
Aware that they must receive approval from the planning commission to make their dream a reality, the Beyers developed an approach to make their journey easier. Their designer, Dave Grabham, of G Design, advised the couple to work with neighbors early in the process, prior to submitting the renovation plans to the city.
With that in mind, in May 2021—before the first set of plans were complete—the Beyers informed neighbors of the planned remodel. Eight months later, the couple presented neighbors with the renovation plans.
“Our goal was to try to make everyone happy,” Beyer said. “We wanted our neighbors excited to have a new family in the neighborhood.”
By Marin standards, the proposed design appears modest. The square footage of the house and ADU, or accessory dwelling unit, is just over 2,620 square feet. Some nearby homes are larger, others smaller.
However, the more the Beyers shared their plans, the more opinions they heard. Many appreciated the modern design, which boasts large windows and three decks to maximize outdoor living. Of course, there’s also a contingent who said the home won’t fit in with Pine Street’s traditional Victorians and wood-shingled cottages. A few immediate neighbors expressed concerns that the renovated home would negatively impact their views, privacy and sunlight.
In September 2022, the Beyers began communicating frequently with several interested neighbors. I reviewed dozens of emails showing that the couple hosted Zoom meetings, where Grabham walked neighbors through the renovation plans and 3-D models. Beyer also met with neighbors in person.
When Sam Chase, who lives uphill, became concerned about his view, Beyer and Grabham climbed onto the roof of the cottage and installed plastic story poles, which represented the rear outline of the proposed structure. While the city would require a full set of wood story poles later in the process, this preview determined the additional two stories would block a small portion of Chase’s expansive water views.
“We adjusted the roofline three different times,” Grabham said. “And brought a wall in.”
After a second set of plastic story poles was erected the following month to reflect the design revisions, Chase gave his “conditional” approval to the project.
In the meantime, Beyer was also in contact with Conrad Gann, the owner of two houses adjacent to the Beyer property. The three homes are in close quarters.
Gann voiced several concerns throughout the planning process, particularly about the renovation affecting privacy and blocking sunlight to his two homes. But the Beyers and Grabham said that as soon as they addressed one of Gann’s concerns, another objection surfaced.
Not surprisingly, Gann disputed this assessment when I spoke with him. In September 2022, Gann requested that the Beyers conduct a professional sun study, which is documented in emails. More than a year later, Gann said he still hasn’t received a report, and blocked light remains a concern.
Beyer, however, told me about a shade study. The design may cast nominal shade on Gann’s homes for about 30-40 minutes a day during about two months of the year, according to Beyer.
The couple worked with Grabham to address other issues raised by Gann. For example, to maximize privacy, they changed the position of windows to avoid direct alignment with the windows in Gann’s homes. Gann isn’t convinced this resolves the privacy problem.
“The front and back third-floor decks and oversized windows lord over the neighborhood,” Gann said. “And when the wood story poles went up, and I saw the shadows cast on both stories of one of my homes, I told them the design was detrimental to the natural light. I objected to the design.”
The project rolled forward. In January, the Beyers submitted their plans to the city’s planning department. They continued to work with neighbors, Beyer said. Soon, they received notice that the planning commission review was scheduled for July.
However, Gann had quietly hired his own architect, Michael Rex, to review the renovation plans. Rex found a code issue—the proposed home would be too close to the property line shared with Gann. The Beyers were forced to revise their design, losing the garage. This change also delayed the planning commission review by more than three months.
On Oct. 25—after the Pacific Sun print deadline—the planning commission will finally review a new iteration of the renovation plans, sans garage. The planning department’s staff report seems generally positive, though it notes some issues. It specifically states that elements of the design will negatively impact the privacy of Gann’s homes and cause reduced access to light and air. Rejecting or approving the plan are both possibilities.
Gann, of course, opposes the project. Chase changed his mind after the wood story poles were erected, and he is now against the current design.
But five people on Pine Street and 15 others submitted letters of support. Perhaps the Beyer family will soon be living in their dream home.
Such first world problems. If only we all had them…
Great reporting yet again Nikki.
The author of this article did a disservice. This is a regurgitated Next Door summary. Nikki bought into a
PR video without understanding the
ask of the design over code and to neighbors . This is a heightened design review because it’s asking for exceptions to
code . I think the author suffered from thinking NextDoor is a source of fact and nowhere does Beyer or this author explain the design details in is asking for entitlements. The PC will do their job but this one sided whine, with no discussion of the request beyond code is disrespectful to all involved. The facts are the facts and require discussion. What were all the objections in the staff report ? What findings for approval does this design not meet ? This is a biased , fluff piece passing
as reporting half the story .
Hi Jason,
Thank you for your comments. In putting the article together, I did not rely on anything from Nextdoor. Instead, I interviewed several people, including the Beyers, the city official who heads up the planning department and a neighbor opposing the project. I also visited the site several times, reviewed countless emails, watched a July Planning Commission meeting where several people opposing the project spoke during public comment, brought the plans to a licensed architect to get a better understanding of the proposed renovations and read the planning commission’s staff report.
You ask about the objections in the staff report. I did include a few. While I couldn’t list everything contained in the 15-page report, apparently you missed that the entire document is embedded in the article. In addition, the article contains links to the current renovation plans that were submitted to the city.
Unfortunately, space limitations don’t allow a reporter to write every detail of a story. I strive to provide links to more information and embed pertinent reports and other documents in most of my articles, giving people the opportunity to delve further into the topics.
Best,
Nikki Silverstein
Jason – you are misinformed. We did not apply for any variances or “execptions to the code”. This is likely one of the many reasons the Sausalito Planning Commission has already unanimously approved our project with a 5-0 vote in favor. You can find the approved resoution in the November 15, 2023 Planning Commission meeting agenda.
You note that the Beyers are on a PR mission -could you please give a little back story on how this story cam to your attention?
A glance at the proposed building in your article makes it clear why this has been a struggle for the Beyers. The sentiment that “the home won’t fit in with Pine Street’s traditional Victorians and wood-shingled cottages” is quite an understatement! It is disappointing this story is pitched as some sort of institutional problem with the Sausalito planning process. The process is not intended to approve any design, no matter how odd or at variance with its neighbors.
Hi Richard,
As I wrote in the article, I learned of the situation on Nextdoor, a social media website. While you might not believe there is a problem with Sausalito’s planning process, many homeowners who have been through it would beg to differ. In fact, during the Sausalito Planning Commission hearing last night, some commission members spoke of the numerous issues with the approval process and the need to change it.
Best,
Nikki
Hi Nikki,
Thank you so much for publishing this issue with the Sausalito Planning Commissioners.
These statements about a neighbor calling the police sound so familiar. Like my neighbor calling the police trying to incriminate me when I posted the Approved Zoning Permit in 2017, and later alleging she did not recall having seen the Approved Zoning permit posted to justify a Late Appeal to my fully permitted and completed project. That same neighbor also called the police on me when I was in my garden, alleging that half of my garden was hers so she could further trim down my Oak trees to expand her view.
Without doubt you have read Matt Smith’s book: “I am Applicant”. According to Math Smith research, on average the Sausalito PC will make their Applicants suffer for 7 years until the PC approves of a chopped up plan. By that time the Applicants either went bankrupt, ended up in a divorce, or lost interest in their project and the neighborhood.
Matt Smith was also so kind to his uphill neighbor allowing her to use the top of his garden to grow her veggies. That uphill neighbor quickly trimmed down the trees on that section of his garden and later claimed view impact on Matt’s proposed project. She even went to the registers office stating that there is a mistake in the Land Survey and that part of Matt’s property belonged to her.
That sure sounds familiar. After having gone through my own saga with the Planning Commission , Matt’s story and the Breyer’s story are both so predictable.
How about another Sausalito Planning Commissioner nightmare story ?
I have also worked hard to satisfy my neighbor to no avail. I compensated my neighbor for any potential view impact by giving her 5 times more view than my proposed project could have impacted. She signed consent to my proposed Addition. Once she had free access to my garden she butchered all my Oaks including cutting several 25 year-old limbs of our Heritage Oak. She obtained a World Class view of San Francisco, Bay Bridges all the way to Angel Island visible from her formal dining room at the expense of my once beautiful oaks gracing my property .
After our fully permitted Addition was completed, she changed her mind and filed the Late Appeal claiming view impact. Our addition impacts less than 1% of that overall panoramic view she just acquired. As soon as there was evidence that the Approved ZP was indeed posted during the 10-day Appeal Period, the PC were still holding their temporary colleague’s back.
This neighbor claimed 60% impact on the view she had at Time of Purchase in 2017. That was a stab in the back. That much about pleasing your neighbors. My motto is: “Never please nor trust thy neighbor”. And somehow this experience has negatively affected my relationships with new people I meet.
Two weeks before the first PC hearing that same neighbor joined the Historical Landmark Board that meets twice a month with the Planning Commissioners, who are judges of our case, behind closed doors. The public nor I were invited to the PC site visits at my neighbor’s house to witness the true view impact.
My neighbor even went that far as to change the formal dining room that has the most beautiful primary view into just a family room that is regarded as a secondary vantage point. Or turning a smaller eating area near the kitchen in the rear of the house into a formal dining room, so she could use a corridor as a primary vantage point that otherwise only qualifies as a secondary vantage point.
Instead of arranging a view easement over our property benefitting our neighbor, on June 2019 we were instructed to partly demolish our once fully permitted and completed Addition, and you will soon find out why.
We obtained a demolition permit and already installed welded brackets to stabilize the structure for demolition. However, before we started the actual demolition, our neighbor sold her house within her two years of ownership for 20% profit in July 2019 due increase in view. The new neighbor bought the house with the view “as is” including the view of our Addition, and did not oppose to us enclosing our Addition with glazing. So in effect the new neighbor has a viewing easement over our garden.
Meanwhile the PC Resolution 2019 expired in 2021. In gratitude for not having forced me to demolish part of our Addition I trimmed down my Oaks more than I needed to widen our neighbors’ panoramic view even further, not knowing that the house was going to be put up for sale again.
The realtor promised that if I trim down my other trees as well , we can keep our Addition FOREVER. So I did and the house got sold again in 2022 for $2.4M with a yet wider panoramic view than before. The new owner is an investor living in N.Y.
By November 2024 it will be time for this investor to sell the house next door via the same realtor. Last month I received a Code Enforcement Citation stating that our Addition is non-compliant and should have been partially demolished. We got three options: 1. remove the entire Addition; 2. partially demolish Addition per PC Resolution 2019; 3. Apply for retroactive Design Review.
We are applying for retroactive Design Review hoping that the PC will be consistent with its own ruling: View is determined at Time of Purchase, including the view of our elegantly designed Addition. We now have the property right to keep our Addition as built, as much as our new neighbors have the property right to a permanently protected panoramic view that was acquired at the expense of our Oak trees in 2017.
So far the PC has been violating so many Sausalito Municipal Codes. The Hearing is such that you only have 10 minutes to state your point not knowing if the PC actually listens to you. When you ask them a question during those 10 minutes , you might not get a response or comment if it inconveniences them.
Who knows what other curve ball is heading our way during this coming up session of retroactive Design Review.
Thanks for sharing Meike. We are so sorry to hear this is happening to other folks. I hope all this publicity can catalyze positive change for our community.
Hi Nicki,
We filed an incident report with the Sausalito Police Department when Jake Beyer confronted us in Driver’s Market by aggressively approaching my partner and I without cause by demanding we “Man up” and got in our face and intentionally block our ability to leave the market. We felt concerned about his eradicate and threatening behavior that seemed to be escalating. His over-personalization of the design critiques led to him misconstruing facts about his proposal that did not meet code, which expressed itself in victimization and his claim of neighbors wanting his family to leave Sausalito. It was like talking to a person who you say. Sir your designs don’t confirm to code and he tells you hate me and my family over and over again until he gets his way. He disrespected the Commission and those who dissented regardless of the merit of their observations. There was a review prior that he withdrew from the agenda of a prior planning commission meeting with overwhelming opposition, that you do not cover in your storytelling. Your reporting makes it appear that you took it for hearsay in your interviews, and is poor journalism in my opinion, not to fact check statements made by people interested in their own purposes. He isn’t a victim and your storytelling suggests the neighbors are the real perpetrators in this story.
If you would like to more about this story, I’m happy to direct you to sources that may cause your journalist ethical consciousness to make a follow up. Next time you’re grocery shopping, Imagine a neighbor yelling to you and running up to your face blocking your ability to leave and say to yourself that’s okay, I.e. my story about Jake’s nightmare was on point.
Hi Jeffrey,
My name is Jake Beyer. I am the owner of 426 Pine St, along with my wife Georgia. Your statement and allegations above are inaccurate. Allow me to shed some light on how this unfortunate situation came to be …
In late 2022, Georgia and I sent out letters to all neighbors within 300 ft. of our house soliciting feedback about our proposed design. This radius included Jeffrey Konen and Zane Chess, who were then tenants of 414 Pine and are now tenants at 325 Pine St, just one block down the street. They own Gilligans’ Poke Shop. Jeffrey and Zane submitted a letter of objection stating their distaste for our design aestheic. I did what I thought was the most neighborly thing to do. The next time we ran into one another on our street, I introduced myself. It was cordial and genuine. I smiled and shook Jeffrey’s hand saying, “I want to hear your concerns. Let’s set up a time to connect with our design build firm so we can incorporate your feedback.” In that conversation Jeffrey responded, “we are just tenants and ultimately we will support you.” I asked for Jeffrey’s email address so that we could arrange the time to meet. But Jeffrey never responded to my email. Instead, a week before our first intended planning commission meeting, he launched a smear campaign on Nextdoor, stating how our family is destroying the neighborhood. The campaign backfired though. There were so many comments against him, that he ended up deleting his post less than 72 hours later. Jeffrey showed up at the planning commission meeting and a made a public comment against our project even though I previously offered to meet with him. Incidentally, we were removed from that meeting agenda at the last minute, but not for the reason Jeffrey surmised above. Planning staff had turnover and a question arose as a result, so they took our project off the agenda while they discussed internally.
Then fast forward a few months. We ran into Jeffrey and Zane at Driver’s Market while I was eating lunch with my wife and our two daughters, then aged 3 years old and 8 months old. As Jeffrey and Zane were headed out to the door, I asked if they would ever provide actionable feedback. Zane flipped his lid. He was standing inches from my daughter who was sitting in her highchair across the table from me. Zane’s body language was highly agrressive, so I positioned myself between him and my daughter. I’ll note that we have heard other reports of Zane acting in aggression toward others including a former employee of his, a well-loved and respected local female business owner, and another neighbor called him a “hothead”. Call me an overprotective dad, but there seems to be pattern of highly aggressive behavior, especially in close proximity to women and young children. I believe that this behavior should be called out and corrected.
After leaving the market, we received calls and texts from both a Driver’s employee and one of the owners saying that Jeffrey and Zane had called the police alleging that “Jake had chest bumped Zane three times”! Luckily, the police reviewed the security footage which clearly indicated that it was total fabrication.
Jeffrey and Zane may not understand that it is a crime to file a false police report, according to California penal code 148.5.
In the comment above, Jeffrey alleges that I, “intentionally blocked (their) ability to leave the market.” This completely contradicts the police report that states, “at no point in the video did either subject touch the other. It also appears that Beyer was not blocking Chess or Beyer’s path or freedom of movement.” That is a direct quote from the police report.
If Nikki or anyone else wants a copy of this report, they can request one at the Sausalito Police Department. The case number is 23-318.
Hi Jake & Georgia, CC’ Kikki.
My name is Jeffrey Konen. Your statement and allegations above are very inaccurate and further harass concerned residents and neighbors about your proposed demolition of a cherished home within the community. We feel unsafe around you and your wife Georgia and do not wish to be further harassed by your negative comments, social media campaign, defamation of our character, reputation, and business. We wish to be left alone in peace.
Due to your application to demolish a 102 yr old home on Pine St., you have somehow twisted this opposition to a personal attack, and harassed and harangued one of the newest gay couples in town who have successfully built a business on Caledonia St. Your attacks of us in a public market, on the street, and online have been continuous and unrelenting. We believe that you are targeting us not only because of our opposition to you project in public forum of a city procedure and process, but also because we have a business near your location and because you believe attaching my individual opposition to our business is a way for further silence, intimidate, which will aid in supporting your project. You believe bringing down a local business on your block is commiserate with your community engagement. We ask that you stop this immediately, and further refrain from disparaging a business local to the street you are seeking to re-build upon.
I talked to two land use attorneys. In their opinion, small town Planning Commission Decisions are based on 85% rule of politics, 15% rule of municipal code, whereby Sausalito is 95% politics.
Astonishingly, I just had an incident very very similar to that reported by Jeffrey Konen, below. Same person, same place! Very verbally aggressive, then tried to physically shove me out of the crosswalk outside. Then he immediately filed a false police report on me – presumably as some sort of pre-emptive maneuver. The police are not amused by him. What a nightmare.
Hi Nikki,
This is Jake Beyer, owner of 426 Pine St. I am responding to the comment above by Richard Guerrera. Readers should know that “Richard Guerrera” is actually my neighbor and owner of 422 Pine Street, Ray (Raymond) Swanson. Raymond Swanson is a professor at UCSF.
Ray lives two houses down from us. I can only assume Ray made a pseudonym because he knows his allegations are not true.
As Ray, a.k.a “Richard,” stated above, there was an incident between us on December 26, 2023, at Drivers Market. It’s important to note that by this time, the Sausalito Planning Commission had already unanimously approved our project with a 5-0 vote in favor. But, Ray along with four other appellants have appealed our project to City Council.
That night, on our way home from a family dinner we stopped at Driver’s Market to pick something up. We parked in front of Drivers Market and I went inside while my wife Georgia and the three kids stayed in our van. Georgia left the car running to keep the kids warm and the baby asleep.
While I was checking out, Ray started taunting me, stating how our Sprinter Van is killing the climate. This is our family’s only car (we ride e-bikes most of the year) and it gets very similar gas mileage to Ray’s two-seater BMW convertible. Frankly, if Ray is so climate-concerned, I’m not sure why is he appealing our approved remodel, which would make our home one of the most energy-efficient houses in the neighborhood.
Ray continued to verbally harass me outside of the market, stating, “your wife is going to leave you,” and “you are destroying your property and my street,” and “everyone hates you.” Then he initiated physical contact by shoulder-checking me into the street! It was hard enough to knock me off my step so I pushed him away from me, but he came back at me, and I had to push him away even harder. Ray yelled some profanity I can’t recall and then walked off.
Georgia and the kids saw all this unfold from inside our van just a few feet away. When we got home, she called the police to report the incident. Georgia is completely fed up with the drama and harrasment stemming from our home remodel that was already unanimously approved by the Planning Commission. We are in the process of filing a restraining order against Ray Swanson.
Last Sunday on January 28, 2024 Ray showed up at our door. Georgia had to ask Ray to leave three times before he actually left while verbally harassing her with “everyone hates you.” This was all recorded on our home security camera. I was not home at the time. Georgia called the police again because Ray is not welcome near our children or on our property.
If Nikki or anyone else wants to request a copy of this report, you can do so at the Sausalito Police Department. The case number is 23-569. Unsurprisingly, you won’t find a Richard Guerrera named in this police report but you will find my name along with Raymond Swanson from 422 Pine Street.
[PSA] 2.4.24
As neighbors, we are traumatized by Jake and Georgia’s vigorous onslaught of physical intimidation, online & social media harassment [which includes this article & comments (used as a tool and vehicle for Beyer’s online harassment & a subsequent article to be published this week that will only further embolden his cause)], Nextdoor, their website and blog, and acrimonious approach to any reasonable outreach by their heartfelt neighbors who love Sausalito and family’s who live here.
Jake and Georgia have defamed longstanding community-based businesses, including our own, Gilligan’s, in order to bolster their support. Any opposition is an attack on their family and Sausalito in general, even going so far as to attack local businesses, City Council and only the women on the Council, and Sausalito’s Design Review Code in general. I feel personally attacked in multiple situations based on my sexual orientation. I do not feel safe walking down my own block near him or his wife when he lies about events that have taken place.
Frustrated they may be, they have found themselves at the crossroads of affinity to their community and the obliteration of their relationships and standing in it.
The City Council, in a recorded meeting, asked Jake and Georgia while they were in attendance to stop their online campaign of vitriol. The next morning, they publicly posted negative, 1 star reviews, as an online tactic to punitive damage a unique small town business. A petty and tortious interference towards our business, even after the City Council admonished both of them for their online campaign of disparagement.
It equates to harassment in way that makes one feel like someone is always watching over their them, even online. We don’t know when Jake or Georgia are going to fly off the handle, publish more defamatory statements or commit something, like a crime. I fear for my neighbors and for their very own children in this situation that Jake and Georgia have created.
Please be the peaceable people and discontinue your onslaught of vigorous hatred toward your fellow Sausalitans.
With sincerely approachability,
Jeffrey Konen
Let it be known this guy is a menace to our community. I have spoken to our business owners and residents who have been personally heckled by Jake Beyers. Small towns need to take a stand and set a precedent that we are not going to be bullied by unwelcome development. Jake Beyers believes the law doesn’t apply to him and he doesn’t need to follow code. This issue is important not just for Sausalito but for the American culture as a whole. We should be preserving our community and protecting it from GREED.
This family has been harassing community members who are publicly opposed of this project. This is not the kind of family we want in Sausalito. We don’t take crap from rich techies from the east coast who use manipulation and scare tactics to get what they want. Chad Cheezel much? Goodluck navigating the world like this. Ever heard of Bobby Newport (parks & rec) ? They could be brothers. Spend more time with your kids than creating a propaganda website for your ugly mega mansion. Sometimes you just need to surrender. If you push and push and push you dig a deeper hole for yourself. God speed!
I just now saw my name mentioned in the lengthy note by Jake Beyer, 2/4/24. He writes,
“Last Sunday on January 28, 2024 Ray showed up at our door. Georgia had to ask Ray to leave three times before he actually left while verbally harassing her …. This was all recorded on our home security camera. …..”
This is of course a completely false account of what was a good-faithed attempt to bring some humanity and civility back to this discourse, via personal rather than online communication. I was not at all welcomed at my visit, and so I promptly left.
Jake, I am glad you have this recorded on your security camera. I kindly ask that you go ahead and post it to your journey blog, just in case anyone might think there is any truth to your statements about me. Thank you, and I hereby retire from any further online commentary on these matters.
This article and all the comments are unbelievably comical. No individual is remotely sympathetic. On the one hand you’ve got the Beyers, likely living off some tech IPO money and a trust fund, attempting to garner sympathy because they have three children (bro, no one forced you to have three kids) but don’t worry, they love the environment and ride e-bikes even though they also own a sprinter van (can’t be tech yuppies without one). Then we’ve got the aging Bay Area hippies, resentful on any iota of change and likely just as stereotypical and loathsome as the Beyers (by the way, why don’t they just move to Palo Alto?) Ya’ll need to get a life. All of you. Is this article satire?