by Leona Moon
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Upgrade your iPhone already, Aries! Mercury goes direct on June 11—hallelujah! You’ve been breaking appliances left and right all month. It’s time for the madness to stop. If you’ve been asking your significant other for a 60” TV, he or she will finally agree on June 14.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) A job offer is headed your way, Taurus. That’s right—upgrading your LinkedIn account actually did pay off. And it looks like it’s actually going to pay you. Expect the unexpected in your career sector on June 10. Your long-lost dream of becoming an entomologist might finally come true.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Did you shoot a screw into your hand again, Gemini? It’s time for a doctor’s appointment on June 12. This is something that a little Super Glue and Neosporin won’t fix. Everyone knows how hard you work and that you’re practically Superman, but quit playing the hero before you lose all of your fingers.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Do you hear that round of applause, Cancer? It’s all for you! What started off as a slow, awkward clap has built momentum and a fan base. Bask in the glory, but keep up the hard work on June 10. Your sign is just around the corner and that’s when you’ll finally be able to unveil your masterpiece to all of your adoring fans.
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) BottleRock wasn’t enough of a getaway for your ostentatious taste, Leo? Looks like you and yours will be taking another mini-vacation on June 12. A weekend getaway can do the soul good—and exposing yourself to new scenery might trigger the creative spark that you’ve been searching for. Cut corners where you can to save money—you’ve been rather spendy this month.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) Is your mom proving to be a little much these days, Virgo? If you’ve taken over primary care for a relative, you’re about to get the rest that you’ve been daydreaming of. There’s only so many times that you can handle finding mom’s socks in the toilet or dad’s toothbrush in the microwave—take a break on June 14.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) It’s time to invest, Libra! Don’t worry, flighty one—we’re not talking about emotional investments. We’re talking lottery tickets. Saturn is heading into Scorpio on June 14 and begging you to take a closer look at your finances. Quit the QVC, and pick up a CD account—or two.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) Can you say “trust issues,” Scorpio? Your final ride with Mercury in retrograde may be a wild one. Skeletons from your relationship closet will keep you busy and, maybe even second-guessing. Do your best to avoid ending up on an episode of Snapped.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Are your family and friends wondering what’s gotten into you, Sagittarius? Someone special has moseyed into your life—and just at the perfect time, too. It’s love or nothing these next few weeks. Dreams do come true—it looks like you finally have someone to share your guilty pleasure and watch The Bachelorette with.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Feel like you’re in the fast lane, Capricorn? Mercury finally went direct on June 11 and your life is about to get back on track. No more email mix-ups or computers crashing. It’s all about to be relatively boring once again. Embrace the adjustment period on June 12—everything is going to feel go-go-go compared to the past few weeks, but you’ll adjust.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Traveling might be just the medicine you need, Aquarius. Pack your bags and head out of town on June 13. This retrograde has worn you down quite a bit. A little sightseeing might help you appreciate what you’re working with back at home—a broken toilet, and no heat or air conditioning.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) It’s time to make a decision, Pisces! We told you to put a halt on all life-altering decisions last month. Well you can rest assured that Mercury has gone direct and wants you to either quit your job, propose to your sweetheart or move to Canada.
