Upfront: ‘Little’ Headache

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It’s been a couple of wild weeks for the California State Republican Party now that it’s been revealed that one of the highest polling Republicans in the state is a neo-Nazi who denies that the Holocaust happened.

The party has been dealing with fallout from a recent statewide poll, which revealed that self-described “counter-Semite” Patrick Little was leading all challengers, Democrat and Republican, in the race for Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s seat. Feinstein is Jewish.

The state GOP’s Little headache piled on to a set of grim statistics that keep mounting for a party whose support is cratering in the state since Donald Trump’s election as president. Only about 25 percent of registered voters in the state are Republicans, and the last time the party took a statewide race was in 2006, when immigrant Arnold Schwarzenegger took the governor’s seat race.

This year, immigration hard-liners in the southern part of the state have rallied around their antipathy for the state’s sanctuary law, while more moderate Republicans helplessly fret over Latinos’ wholesale abandonment of Republicanism in the Trump era.

Enter Patrick Little. He tried to attend the state GOP spring convention in San Diego over the weekend. It didn’t go well, he said in a brief interview with our sister publication, the Bohemian. Little was booted from the event when he attempted to register at the VIP table, despite his declaration to organizers, he notes, that he’s the top-polling Republican in the state. As a parting shot, he stomped on an Israeli flag as he departed the convention.

Little has taken a square aim at the powerful lobbying organization American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) in his campaign. The organization did not respond to the Bohemian‘s requests for comment.

In scanning leading state newspapers in the lead-up to the convention last weekend, a consensus view emerged in the various editorials and analyses which indicated that among California’s political and media class, ignoring Little seems to be the best strategy to make him go away.

News stories about the convention barely mentioned Little, if they mentioned him at all, and focused on the party’s challenging work ahead in a state in which the Democratic supermajority has dug in as the loyal opposition in the aftermath of Trump’s minority-vote victory in 2016.

The state GOP has tried to gain traction with California voters this year with its initiative to repeal a new state gas tax—but it’s really hard to ignore the fact that the same party is fielding a candidate for U.S. Senate who doesn’t believe there were gas chambers at Auschwitz. Can Little be so easily dismissed? It’s a hard row to hoe for the GOP. The party wants voters to believe that Gov. Jerry Brown has bankrupted the state, even as last week California leapt over Great Britain to become the world’s fifth largest economy.

The Bohemian made numerous attempts to contact the state Republican Party to discuss the Little phenomenon, to no avail. They clearly want him to go away. The takeaway from state party leaders is that they are aghast that an unapologetic anti-Semite could lay claim to the mantle of the state GOP’s messaging with his 18 percent showing in the polls.

Yet this is the same state GOP which supported a candidate for president in 2016 who refused to disavow an endorsement from American Nazi David Duke, who said there are “good people” among violent white supremacists, and whose “America First” platform is a throwback to  anti-Semitic American isolationism prior to WWII, though wrapped in a proverbial “dog whistle”—coded language that appeals to a specific constituency while not rattling the mainstream.

There’s no dog-whistling in Little’s campaign, where he calls for the deportation of Jews, among other “counter-Semitic” policy proposals.

Meanwhile, the Anti-Defamation League recently reported that incidences of anti-Semitic violence have spiked since Trump’s election, including in California. The organization conducted a workshop on combating anti-Semitism recently in Silicon Valley.

Trump visited the state in March. At that time, Kurt Bardella (a Republican messaging strategist and former staffer to retiring California Congressman Darrell Issa) wrote on CNN’s opinion page online that “the reality is Trump’s brand of xenophobia is toxic to what little is left of the Republican Party in California. . . . Instead of evolving with the changing demographics, Republicans in California have continued to embrace the fringe policies and rhetoric of the most extreme edges of the GOP.”

Bardella did not respond to the Bohemian‘s requests for an interview for this story.

In the end, the state Republican Party did not endorse anyone at its weekend convention to run against Feinstein, who is both a deeply unpopular and unmovable force in California Democratic politics. Her would-be challenger from the left, state Sen. Kevin de León, crawled in at a meager 8 percent support in that same poll which found Little at 18 percent. The growing irrelevancy of the Golden State Republicans appears to have provided political space for a candidate such as Little to emerge, especially given that the fix is in on Feinstein’s re-election. The big promised news going into the state GOP convention was over whether the party would endorse John Cox or Travis Allen in the governor’s race. It ended up endorsing neither man.  

Into this political vacuum enters Patrick Little. So who is he? The former Marine has filed campaign certification paperwork with the California Secretary of State that lists his address as an apartment located in a student housing complex owned by UC Berkeley. But he’s not a student there and has never been. Little confirms this in a phone interview and says, “That’s my campaign address.”

The address under file with the Secretary of State is in the city of Albany, which is just north of Berkeley and where the university owns a sprawling apartment complex with various amenities, called University Village. The Pacific Sun is not printing the address given that, according to UC Berkeley, the person at the address has every right under university policy to allow Little to use the location as his campaign address.

But it does raise a question about Little’s connection to the university, the site of numerous protests and tense stand-offs between Trump supporters and anti-fascist activists over the past couple of years. A university spokesperson says no person named Patrick Little is currently enrolled at Berkeley, nor has anyone ever been enrolled at the university who has that name. The spokesperson could not identify the person who lives at the Berkeley-owned apartment associated with Little’s campaign. “We didn’t find any name matching that name either now or in the past,” says spokeswoman Janet Gilmore, who added, “I can’t talk about who may or may not live there because of state privacy laws.”

Little’s Twitter account says that he lives in Albany. He reported online that he was thrown off the social media site on April 29 over his denial of the Holocaust, and wrote that “Hitler saved more [J]ewish lives than any man in history.”

His campaign slogan is: “Liberate the U.S. from the Jewish Oligarchy.”

Newsweek dug into a poll commissioned by KPIX 5. SurveyUSA that found Little second behind Feinstein and reported on Little’s praise for Adolf Hitler and his call for Jews to be deported from the United States. KPIX, the San Francisco CBS affiliate, blew right past the part of the poll which identified Little’s surprise showing and instead gushed about how the poll indicated that voters were ramped up for an exciting campaign season.  

If the polling numbers hold and are reflected in the primary vote on June 5, Little would face Feinstein in the general election in November. The next leading Republican candidate running against Feinstein is Rocky De La Fuente, a San Diego businessman and founder of the Delta Party who is also running for Rick Scott’s Senate seat this year in Florida. Fuente ran for president as a Democrat and says he’ll run again in 2020 in the Democratic primary.

Little also beat out Erin Cruz in the KPIX poll, a candidate who might charitably be said to occupy the “mainstream” Trump position in this race. Cruz has adopted the #Americafirst hashtag as her own and riffs off the reality-show president’s slogan when she says her aim is to Make California Golden Again. Her campaign materials indicate that she plans to do this by deporting undocumented immigrants. Cruz did not follow through on a Bohemian interview scheduled by her staff for Monday.

Late last week, I contacted Little at the email address he posts on his campaign website and he responded with an offer to do a live-stream interview. That’s not an option, I responded, but let’s talk. I sent him several questions about his campaign and asked if he could provide some further context about his support among Asian-Americans.

Late Friday night, Little sent a series of quick emails from the road, saying he was headed to San Diego and the GOP convention, from whence he would be booted. Early this week, he called to set up an interview for a future date, he said, given that he had lots of other media requests to sift through.

It’s not known what Little’s actual connection to the Berkeley address is, beyond that he listed it on a state form as his address and confirms that it’s where his campaign is located. There’s nothing illegal about that. A spokesman at the Federal Election Commission (FEC) says that candidates for higher office don’t have to reveal their home addresses, and only need to provide a mailing address to the FEC.

“The FEC has no jurisdiction over any residency requirements (i.e., a candidate running from a particular state or congressional district within a state),” says Myles Martin, communications specialist at the commission. “The Statement of Candidacy that a candidate files with the [FEC] requires that a candidate provide a ‘mailing address,’ but this need not be their actual residence address.”

Little has not filed a Statement of Candidacy, or any other disclosure reports with the FEC, says Martin. He may not need to. The FEC only requires financial disclosures from candidates who have eclipsed a $5,000 threshold in contributions, or expenditures related to the campaign.

Little told a Yahoo interviewer that he’s cautioned supporters to not contribute any money to his campaign, given that those contributions, and who made them, could ultimately be subject to public scrutiny. He also noted that he’s gotten some volunteers to help out with the campaign.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) has been tracking Little’s campaign, and in 2014 released a report on anti-Semitism around the world, which, surprisingly, found that there’s quite a bit of anti-Semitic sentiment among various Asian populations. For example, the survey found that some 53 percent of South Koreans answered “probably true” to a majority of anti-Semitic stereotypes, says the ADL’s Joanna Mendelson, the league’s senior investigative researcher and director of special projects.

She says of Little, “He is not nuanced in his anti-Semitism, and outright condemns any ‘dog whistle’ references [to Jews] in favor of his hate.”

The Maine native’s blatant anti-Semitism is on display on his campaign platform. Among other promises, he says he’ll “introduce a bill to the U.S. Senate making it illegal to raise funds for any foundation related to the perpetuating of propaganda related to a ‘holocaust,’ formally making US’s stance on the holocaust to be that it is a Jewish war atrocity propaganda hoax that never happened.”

He also calls for Twitter, Google and Facebook to be nationalized. Little’s least controversial campaign pledge is his plan to crash asteroids into the Mars atmosphere to make it more amenable to future humans who may travel there. That’s how far out things have become for the California Republican Party.

Feature: Close-Up

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In the roughly 34 years since Donald Trump assumed the presidency—that’s Emotional Standard Time; chronologically, it’s been less than two years—it’s easy to forget that there was once a time when the president of the United States was so unflappable, he earned the nickname “No Drama” Obama.

My, oh my, how times have changed.

Outraged progressives and forlorn Democrats are likely to be mighty ambivalent when it comes to nostalgia for the Barack Obama years. But, welcome or not, here it comes in the form of a stunning new coffee-table book of photographs by former White House photographer Pete Souza titled Obama: An Intimate Portrait.

The book represents the most revealing images culled from a staggering 1.9 million photos that Souza took of Obama and his family, dating back to 2005 when Obama was first elected to the U.S. Senate. During the White House years, Souza tells me, he averaged somewhere between 500 and 2,000 photos of the president each day.

Beyond his friendship with the president, Souza says that purely as a subject, Obama was a godsend. “He was always very recognizable from behind, probably because of his ears. I could be behind him and show things from his perspective and you could tell right away it was him,” he says. “I feel sorry for the photographers who had Gerald Ford or George Bush 41 as their subjects. I mean, let’s face it, those guys were pretty bland in their looks and their mannerisms. It must have been a real challenge. I had someone who was a very photogenic guy.”

On Thursday, May 10, Souza comes to the Curran in San Francisco to sign copies of the new book and tell stories of his eight years as White House chief photographer. He’ll share his perspective on the most meaningful moments of the Obama administration, from the Bin Laden raid to the Sandy Hook shooting, and shed some light on the private personality of the nation’s first African-American president.

“I knew Barack Obama for years before he became president,” says Souza. “And even as he was leaving the White House on that last day [as president], I can’t say that the core character of the man had changed at all. Maybe his hair was a little grayer. But basically, it was the same person I knew way back when.”

From Day One

Souza was a staff photographer for the Chicago Tribune in December of 2004 when he and Tribune reporter Jeff Zeleny pitched the idea to their editors to chronicle the first year of newly elected Sen. Obama in Washington, D.C. Souza negotiated for access with Obama aide Robert Gibbs (who was later White House press secretary), and was there when Obama–his wife and two daughters by his side–was sworn in for his first term in the Senate.

“The very first day was really just a ceremonial day,” remembers Souza, “and I have this picture of the girls in his new office. Neither he or the girls are paying any attention to me, so I was taking these intimate pictures on Day One. Right away, I knew he was a good subject in that he didn’t mind someone snapping away while he was doing what he does, which is what as a photojournalist you strive to find.”

When Obama was elected president, he was comfortable enough with Souza to bring him on as chief White House photographer, a role in which he supervised three other photographers. “I considered it a professional relationship coming into the White House,” he says. “Coming in, I had agreements that I would have access to everything. Well, that’s easier said than done. As soon as you walked into the Oval Office on January 20, 2009, things changed. Even though I had marching orders, I had to earn the right to be in every meeting and to feel out photographing the family.”

Eventually, Souza and Obama developed a more informal relationship. Obama had a tendency to surround himself with much younger staffers, but Souza was an exception. “Here was I, a guy a few years older than he was. That meant we were kind of from the same generation. So we experienced many of the same cultural and historical things from the ’60s and ’70s, when a lot of those around him weren’t even born yet.”

After a while, the Obamas’ trust in Souza dovetailed with the photographer’s intuitions on when to give the First Family space, particularly when it came to the Obama daughters, Sasha and Malia. “We didn’t want to do anything that would cause the girls any kind of embarrassment or unwanted attention,” he says.

Photo by Pete Souza.

Souza’s body of work as presidential photographer tends to break down into one of three categories: Obama during his workday in his role as president, his interactions with people (often children) and his efforts at maintaining normal-guy activities, such as cheering on from the stands at his daughter’s basketball game. Some of Souza’s images have already become iconic, including an image of the president bending at the waist in the Oval Office to allow a young African-American boy to touch his head. Another famous image shows the president in a freight elevator leaning in to touch forehead-to-forehead with First Lady Michelle Obama, who is wearing his jacket, as the two make their way to an inaugural ball on the first day of the Obama presidency.

Souza was also in the Oval Office the moment that President Obama learned of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012 when 26 people—20 of them young children—were killed.

“Sad to say, we had already been through a couple of these mass shootings before that,” says Souza. “He’s a parent with two young girls at home. His reaction, as a fellow parent but also as the president of the United States, was he couldn’t imagine the horror of saying goodbye to your kids after breakfast and putting them on a school bus, and the next time you see them, their body had been blasted five times at point blank range by some crazy guy, which is essentially what happened. He was overwrought with emotion, as a parent.”

The goal of a photographer is to reveal something about the personality, the morality or the conduct of his subject, and that’s never more true than when that subject is the president. Souza saw Obama’s character come through in countless ways in his eight years as White House photographer. Behind every image is a story, he says, of how Obama relates to people and how he found a balance between his individual personality and his role as president.

Souza remembers accompanying Obama to an immigration event in Texas, during which the president was being heckled—not by conservatives, but by progressives who felt he wasn’t doing enough to help immigrants.

“So he says, ‘Look, let me finish my speech, and when I do, I’ll have a conversation with you guys.’ Now, I’m sure everyone there figured he was just saying that to shut those guys up. But in actuality, he finishes his speech and points to those two guys to come join him backstage. So the photo is backstage with these two young guys, and he’s got his hand on this one kid’s shoulders who he’s talking to. You can tell this kid is just shitting his pants. He’s just been called back by the president of the United States, and now he’s a foot away from him. That tells you a lot about Barack Obama, that he would make the effort to explain himself in that way.”

Pete Souza, presented by Book Passage, Thursday, May 10, 7pm; $65 to $135 (tickets include a copy of the book with signed bookplate); the Curran, 445 Geary Street, San Francisco; sfcurran.com.  

2018 Best of Marin Party Photo Gallery

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9pzvF3fhB8[/embedyt]

On Thursday, April 26, at Piatti in Mill Valley, we hosted our annual Best of Marin party to celebrate all of our 2018 Best of Marin winners. Many thanks to our sponsors:

  • Piatti Mill Valley
  • Redwood Credit Union
  • TREK Wine
  • Mantra Wines
  • Harvester Co
  • The Two Lions Band
  • Jon Lohne Photography
  • Oyster Girls

Hero & Zero: A $250,000 Toilet & A Snake Bite

Hero: We flipped our lids when we learned that the City of Mill Valley was set to waste $250,000 on a single toidy housed in a wood structure. Sure, it would be nice to have a restroom in Sycamore Park, but we suggest that you rent a couple of porta potties, rather than drop the whole load on one toilet. Thankfully, we just received news that we weren’t the only folks feeling this way. At the eleventh hour, just before the city awarded a construction contract, concerned citizens decided that this plan didn’t pass the smell test and contacted officials. The public outcry worked. Progress on the project has been paused and community members will be invited to further discussions. Bravo to the rabble-rousers.

Zero: Let sleeping snakes lie has always been our motto, but apparently it’s not everyone’s. Last week, a 79-year-old hiker was bitten two-to-three times after he picked up a poisonous young rattler on the Old Railroad Grade fire road on Mount Tam. The juvenile snake, whose bite is thought to be more venomous than that of an adult, chomped the solo hiker at least once on each hand. The Sonoma County resident was transported off the mountain on an all-terrain vehicle and airlifted by a California Highway Patrol helicopter to a hospital in Walnut Creek. Fortunately, he’s in stable condition. According to rescuers, the senior thought he was handling a harmless gopher snake. After much ado and expense, lesson number one: Don’t pick up snakes.

Hero & Zero: A $250,000 Toilet & A Snake Bite

Hero: We flipped our lids when we learned that the City of Mill Valley was set to waste $250,000 on a single toidy housed in a wood structure. Sure, it would be nice to have a restroom in Sycamore Park, but we suggest that you rent a couple of porta potties, rather than drop the whole load on one toilet. Thankfully, we just received news that we weren’t the only folks feeling this way. At the eleventh hour, just before the city awarded a construction contract, concerned citizens decided that this plan didn’t pass the smell test and contacted officials. The public outcry worked. Progress on the project has been paused and community members will be invited to further discussions. Bravo to the rabble-rousers.
Zero: Let sleeping snakes lie has always been our motto, but apparently it’s not everyone’s. Last week, a 79-year-old hiker was bitten two-to-three times after he picked up a poisonous young rattler on the Old Railroad Grade fire road on Mount Tam. The juvenile snake, whose bite is thought to be more venomous than that of an adult, chomped the solo hiker at least once on each hand. The Sonoma County resident was transported off the mountain on an all-terrain vehicle and airlifted by a California Highway Patrol helicopter to a hospital in Walnut Creek. Fortunately, he’s in stable condition. According to rescuers, the senior thought he was handling a harmless gopher snake. After much ado and expense, lesson number one: Don’t pick up snakes.

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hate rampant consumerism almost as much as I hate hatred, so I don’t offer the following advice lightly: Buy an experience that could help liberate you from the suffering you’ve had trouble outgrowing. Or buy a toy that can thaw the frozen joy that’s trapped within your out-of-date sadness. Or buy a connection that might inspire you to express a desire you need help in expressing. Or buy an influence that will motivate you to shed a belief or theory that has been cramping your lust for life. Or all of the above! (And if buying these things isn’t possible, consider renting.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): These days, you have an enhanced ability to arouse the appreciation and generosity of your allies, friends and loved ones. The magnetic influence you’re emanating could even start to evoke the interest and inquiries of mere acquaintances and random strangers. Be discerning about how you wield that potent stuff! On the other hand, don’t be shy about using it to attract all of the benefits that it can bring you. It’s OK to be a bit greedier for goodies than usual, as long as you’re also a bit more compassionate than usual.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I bet that a healing influence will arrive from an unexpected direction and begin to work its subtle but intense magic before anyone realizes what’s happening. I predict that the bridge you’re building will lead to a place that’s less flashy but more useful than you imagined. And I’m guessing that although you may initially feel jumbled by unforeseen outcomes, those outcomes will ultimately be redemptive. Hooray for lucky flukes and weird switcheroos!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Born under the astrological sign of Cancer, Franz Kafka is regarded as one of the 20th century’s major literary talents. Alas, he made little money from his writing. Among the day jobs he did to earn a living were stints as a bureaucrat at insurance companies. His superiors there praised his efforts. “Superb administrative talent,” they said about him. Let’s use this as a take-off point to meditate on your destiny, Cancerian. Are you good at skills you’re not passionate about? Are you admired and acknowledged for having qualities that aren’t of central importance to you? If so, the coming weeks and months will be a favorable time to explore this apparent discrepancy. I believe that you will have the power to get closer to doing more of what you love to do.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you really wanted to, you could probably break the world’s record for most words typed per minute with the nose (103 characters in 47 seconds). I bet you could also shatter a host of other marks as well, like eating the most hot chiles in two minutes, weaving the biggest garland using defunct iPhones or dancing the longest on a tabletop while listening to a continuous loop of Nirvana’s song “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” But I hope you won’t waste your soaring capacity for excellence on meaningless stunts like those. I’d rather see you break your own personal records for accomplishments like effective communications, high-quality community-building and smart career moves.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Isaac Newton (1643-1727) was among history’s three most influential scientists. Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) has been described as the central figure in modern philosophy. Henry James (1843-1916) is regarded as one of the greatest novelists in English literature. John Ruskin (1819-1900) was a prominent art critic and social thinker. What did these four men have in common? They never had sex with anyone. They were virgins when they died. I view this fact with alarm. What does it mean that Western culture is so influenced by the ideas of men who lacked this fundamental initiation? With that as our context, I make this assertion: If you hope to make good decisions in the coming weeks, you must draw on the wisdom you have gained from being sexually entwined with other humans.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Every so often, a painter has to destroy painting,” said 20th century abstract expressionist painter Willem de Kooning. “Cézanne did it. Picasso did it with Cubism. Then Pollock did it. He busted our idea of a picture all to hell.” In de Kooning’s view, these “destructive” artists performed a noble service. They demolished entrenched ideas about the nature of painting, thus liberating their colleagues and descendants from stale constraints. Judging from the current astrological omens, Libra, I surmise that the near future will be a good time for you to wreak creative destruction in your own field or sphere. What progress and breakthroughs might be possible when you dismantle comfortable limitations?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Mayflies are aquatic insects with short life spans. Many species live less than 24 hours, even though the eggs they lay may take three years to hatch. I suspect that this may be somewhat of an apt metaphor for your future, Scorpio. A transitory or short-duration experience could leave a legacy that will ripen for a long time before it hatches. But that’s where the metaphor breaks down. When your legacy has fully ripened—when it becomes available as a living presence—I bet it will last a long time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When a critic at Rolling Stone magazine reviewed the Beatles’ Abbey Road in 1969, he said some of the songs were “so heavily overproduced that they are hard to listen to.” He added, “Surely they must have enough talent and intelligence to do better than this.” Years later, however, Rolling Stone altered its opinion, naming Abbey Road the 14th best album of all time. I suspect, Sagittarius, that you’re in a phase with metaphorical resemblances to the earlier assessment. But I’m reasonably sure that this will ultimately evolve into being more like the later valuation—and it won’t take years.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, love should be in full bloom. You should be awash in worthy influences that animate your beautiful passion. So how about it? Are you swooning, twirling and uncoiling? Are you overflowing with a lush longing to celebrate the miracle of being alive? If your answer is yes, congratulations. May your natural intoxication levels continue to rise. But if my description doesn’t match your current experience, you may be out of sync with cosmic rhythms. And if that’s the case, please take emergency measures. Escape to a sanctuary where you can shed your worries and inhibitions and maybe even your clothes. Get drunk on undulating music as you dance yourself into a dreamy love revelry.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Life never gives you anything that’s all bad or all good.” So proclaimed the smartest Aquarian 6-year-old girl I know as we kicked a big orange ball around a playground. I agreed with her! “Twenty years from now,” I told her, “I’m going to remind you that you told me this heartful truth.” I didn’t tell her the corollary that I’d add to her axiom, but I’ll share it with you: If anything or anyone seems to be all bad or all good, you’re probably not seeing the big picture. There are exceptions, however! For example, I bet you will soon experience or are already experiencing a graceful stroke of fate that’s very close to being all good.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Enodation” is an old, nearly obsolete English word that refers to the act of untying a knot or solving a knotty problem, and “enodous” means “free of knots.” Let’s make these your celebratory words of power for the month of May, Pisces. Speak them out loud every now and then. Invoke them as holy chants and potent prayers leading you to discover the precise magic that will untangle the kinks and snarls you most need to untangle.

Homework: What’s the most important question you need an answer for in the next five years? Deliver your best guess to me at Freewillastrology.com.

Advice Goddess

Q: I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I’m very honest and vulnerable in it, and readers feel super-connected to me because of it. Most just briefly thank me for how it changed their life, etc. However, a few have really latched on to me via social media. I respond to their first message, and then they write back with pretty much a whole novel and message me constantly. I don’t want to be mean, but this is time-consuming and draining.—Unprepared

A: Not to worry … that fan won’t be stalking you forever—that is, if you’ll just sign the medical release she’s had drawn up for the two of you to get surgically conjoined.  

In writing your book, you probably wanted to help others get the monkey off their back—not point them to the open space on yours so they could line up to take its place. The interaction these fans have with you is a “parasocial” relationship, a psych term describing a strong one-sided emotional bond a person develops with a fictional character, celebrity or media figure.

These people aren’t crazy; they know, for example, that Jimmy Kimmel isn’t their actual “bro.” But we’re driven by psychological adaptations that are sometimes poorly matched with our modern world, as they evolved to solve mating and survival problems in an ancestral (hunter-gatherer) environment.

Though it still pays for us to try to get close to high-status people—so that we might learn the ropes, get status by association and get some trickle-down benefits—the adaptation pushing us to do this evolved when we gathered around fires, not flat-screens. This makes our poor little Stone Age minds ill-equipped to differentiate between people we know and people we know from books, movies and TV.

Psychologist David C. Giles and others who study parasocial relationships were used to these interactions remaining one-sided, as until recently, it was challenging to even find a celeb’s agent’s mailing address to send them a letter. However, as you’ve experienced, that’s changed thanks to social media, which is to say, Beyonce’s on Twitter. But the fact that you can be reached doesn’t mean that you owe anyone your time. As soon as you see someone trying to hop the fence from fan to friend, write something brief but kind, such as: “It means a lot to me that you connected with my book. However, I’m swamped with writing deadlines, so I can’t carry on an email exchange, much as I’d like to. Hope you understand!”

This message establishes a boundary, but without violating your fan’s dignity. Dignity, explains international conflict resolution specialist Donna Hicks, is an “internal state of peace” a person feels when they’re treated as if they have value and their feelings matter. Preserving a person’s dignity can actually make the difference between their hating you and their accepting your need to have a life—beyond waiting around to respond to their next 8,000-word email.

Q: I’m a single woman in my mid-30s, and I can’t cook. I’m also not interested in learning. My parents are old-school, and this worries them. They keep telling me that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Is that really still true?—Takeout Queen

A: A man does not stay with a mean woman simply because she makes a mean pot roast: “Yeah, bro, I was all ready to leave her, but then my stomach chained itself to the kitchen table.”

However, what really matters for a lot of men is that you’re loving as you pry the plastic lid off their dinner. Being loving is not just a state of mind; it is something you do—a habit of being responsive to what marriage researcher John Gottman calls “bids” from your partner for your attention, affection or support. Being responsive involves listening to and engaging with your partner, even in the mundane little moments of life.

Sure, some men will find it a deal breaker that you don’t cook—same as some will find it a deal breaker if you aren’t up for raising children or llamas. But even a cursory familiarity with male anatomy suggests that there are a number of ways to a man’s heart, from the obvious—a surgical saw through the sternum—to a more indirect but far more popular route: Showing him that you can tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue.

This Week in the Pacific Sun

This week in the Pacific Sun, our Home & Garden issue puts the spotlight on Andy Naja-Riese, the Agricultural Institute of Marin’s new CEO, who talks about innovation and the future of farmers’ markets. On top of that, we’ve got a piece on learning from one of America’s favorite foods, a spring recipe from chef Heidi Krahling, a review of Berkeley Repertory Theatre’s production of ‘Angels in America’, an interview with Danny Click about his new live album and a preview of the DocLands Documentary Film Festival. And don’t miss the photos from our Best of Marin party, where we honored all of our winners from our 2018 Best of Marin readers’ poll. All that and more on stands and online today! 

Film: Land of Docs

Selling itself with great gusts of uplift—non-competitive, non-juried and gender equal, all good things—the three-day DocLands Documentary Film Festival (May 3-6 at the Christopher B. Smith Rafael Film Center) may sound so optimistic that it worries the pessimist who, like Don Vito Corleone, insists on getting bad news promptly. The fest is big on encouragement: It includes an open-pitch meeting with the audience voting on the best proposals pitched. The dozens of films have a concentration of the upbeat aspect of downbeat problems.  

Chris Jordan’s Albatross profiles the fascinating creatures. They may have inspired poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner), but the well-known ‘gooney birds’ aren’t poetry in motion when they land. Their principle preserve is Midway Atoll, remotest of the Hawaiian Islands, some 1,300 miles from Oahu; director Chris Jordan spent years on that faraway place watching them. Distance hasn’t protected these high-flying birds from peril, however; the world’s discarded plastic has found its way into the birds’ food chains.

Even farther out into the seas is Anote’s Ark by Matthieu Rytz, observing the slow rise of waters in the nation of Kiribati in the Central Pacific—population 114,000, it’s situated on a series of atolls hundreds of miles apart. As the climate changes, there’s the question of what will become of them all. From too much water to not enough: Co-billed with Anote’s Ark is Maya Craig’s short documentary Water Town about the craze for supermarket water, and a corporate grab of the aquifer in the town of Weed, California. Not too far away from Weed is the Eel River, subject of A River’s Last Chance, about how both wineries and marijuana grows are endangering a river that’s already drying up.

No one who saw the 2009 Best Documentary Oscar winner The Cove will forget it—as suspenseful as a spy movie and as outrageous as any muckraking doc. It concerned the obscene market for dolphin meat in Japan. Butchering creatures of such intelligence and friendliness is disgusting, but happily the cetaceans have their revenge: It’s bad for the people who eat them, since dolphin meat is loaded with mercury and PCBs. The Cove’s director Louie Psihoyos will be on hand to receive the first DocLands Honors Award and to screen his recent film The Game Changers. To sum up The Game Changers briefly: It’s a profile of several vegetarian athletes who prove that you don’t need to eat a bull to be as strong as one.

Those with an equal passion for cinema and garage sales will note Saving Brinton, an Iowa-based documentary about Michael Zahs of Washington, Iowa. This vastly bearded, retired junior high school history teacher stored relics at his place—everything from architectural salvage to memorabilia of Grant Wood (the artist behind American Gothic). At one estate sale, Zahs found something choice: A cache of films left behind by the pioneer Midwestern film exhibitor William Brinton. Movies go back a long way out there. A fun fact, gleaned from Mike Kilen’s article about Zahs in the Des Moines Register: The oldest continually operated movie theater in the world is the State Theater, in that town of Washington. When Zahs sorted out his tangle of celluloid, it was revealed to contain two lost films by special-effects pioneer George Méliès—the subject of Martin Scorsese’s film Hugo.

To quote Scorsese, go and get your shine box for Shiners, Stacey Tenenbaum’s observation of various humble and lovable shoe-shiners from Mexico, to Japan to New York City (one an ex-accountant who had had enough with number-crunching). Harleen Singh’s Drawn Together: Comics, Diversity and Stereotypes, is a choice subject during the year of T’Challa the Black Panther’s triumph; interviewees doing their part to put the rainbow back into comics include Keith Knight of The K Chronicles and Andrew Farago of the Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco; one of the playful yet pithy ideas being Vishavjit Singh, a cosplayer who dressed as a turbaned Captain America.

DocLands Documentary Film Festival, May 3-6, Christopher B. Smith Rafael Film Center, 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael; doclands.com.

Music: Classical Country

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Since moving to the North Bay from Austin, Texas more than a decade ago, guitarist and songwriter Danny Click has made a name in the local scene with his outfit, Danny Click & the Hell Yeahs!, delivering sizzling, countrified Americana rock.

In fact, Pacific Sun readers recently voted the Hell Yeahs! Best Band in Marin for the second year in a row in our annual Best of Marin readers’ poll.

“People must like what we’re doing,” Click says. “It’s nice to have people come to shows. Someone described [our shows] awhile back like going to church, so I started calling it the electric church.”

This month, Click unplugs and shows off a different shade of music when he unveils a new live album, Live at 142 by Danny Click & the Americana Orchestra, featuring a string quartet backing his band in an all-acoustic recording.

“I wanted to do something different than what we usually do,” Click says.

The album was actually recorded nearly four years ago at Mill Valley’s Throckmorton Theatre, though the project took a back seat when Click had the opportunity to work with legendary producer Jim Scott (Tom Petty, Rolling Stones, Wilco) to record a studio album.

That recording became Holding Up the Sun, which was released in 2015 to universal acclaim. Click spent the next two years touring and playing in support of Holding Up the Sun, almost forgetting about his Americana Orchestra until recently.

After finishing the mixing and mastering process last year, Click is ready to share the new live album when he performs a record-release show on Friday, May 4, back where it all began at Throckmorton Theatre in Mill Valley.

On the album’s 10 live tracks and one bonus studio track, Click reworks some of his most popular tunes and adapts classic songs like Bob Dylan’s “Girl from the North Country.”

Live at 142 by Danny Click & the Americana Orchestra achieves plenty of lush, beautifully melodic moments of music that may surprise Click’s fans. Even Click admits that he got chills while playing with the string quartet.

“Having those intimate strings right there in my ear while I sang these songs almost choked me up,” he says. “To me, it was kind of like being in heaven for a little bit.”

Danny Click & the Americana Orchestra perform with opener Mark Goldenberg on Friday, May 4, at Throckmorton Theatre, 142 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley; 8pm; $30-$35; 415/383-9600.

Upfront: ‘Little’ Headache

It’s been a couple of wild weeks for the California State Republican Party now that it’s been revealed that one of the highest polling Republicans in the state is a neo-Nazi who denies that the Holocaust happened. The party has been dealing with fallout from a recent statewide poll, which revealed that self-described “counter-Semite” Patrick Little was leading all...

Feature: Close-Up

In the roughly 34 years since Donald Trump assumed the presidency—that’s Emotional Standard Time; chronologically, it’s been less than two years—it’s easy to forget that there was once a time when the president of the United States was so unflappable, he earned the nickname “No Drama” Obama. My, oh my, how times have changed. Outraged progressives and forlorn Democrats are likely...

2018 Best of Marin Party Photo Gallery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9pzvF3fhB8 On Thursday, April 26, at Piatti in Mill Valley, we hosted our annual Best of Marin party to celebrate all of our 2018 Best of Marin winners. Many thanks to our sponsors: Piatti Mill Valley Redwood Credit Union TREK Wine Mantra Wines Harvester Co The Two Lions Band Jon Lohne Photography Oyster Girls

Hero & Zero: A $250,000 Toilet & A Snake Bite

hero and zero
Hero: We flipped our lids when we learned that the City of Mill Valley was set to waste $250,000 on a single toidy housed in a wood structure. Sure, it would be nice to have a restroom in Sycamore Park, but we suggest that you rent a couple of porta potties, rather than drop the whole load on one...

Hero & Zero: A $250,000 Toilet & A Snake Bite

hero and zero
Hero: We flipped our lids when we learned that the City of Mill Valley was set to waste $250,000 on a single toidy housed in a wood structure. Sure, it would be nice to have a restroom in Sycamore Park, but we suggest that you rent a couple of porta potties, rather than drop the whole load on one...

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hate rampant consumerism almost as much as I hate hatred, so I don’t offer the following advice lightly: Buy an experience that could help liberate you from the suffering you’ve had trouble outgrowing. Or buy a toy that can thaw the frozen joy that’s trapped within your out-of-date sadness. Or buy a connection that...

Advice Goddess

advice goddess
Q: I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I’m very honest and vulnerable in it, and readers feel super-connected to me because of it. Most just briefly thank me for how it changed their life, etc. However, a few have really latched on to me via social media. I respond to their first message, and then they write...

This Week in the Pacific Sun

This week in the Pacific Sun, our Home & Garden issue puts the spotlight on Andy Naja-Riese, the Agricultural Institute of Marin's new CEO, who talks about innovation and the future of farmers' markets. On top of that, we've got a piece on learning from one of America’s favorite foods, a spring recipe from chef Heidi Krahling, a review of...

Film: Land of Docs

Selling itself with great gusts of uplift—non-competitive, non-juried and gender equal, all good things—the three-day DocLands Documentary Film Festival (May 3-6 at the Christopher B. Smith Rafael Film Center) may sound so optimistic that it worries the pessimist who, like Don Vito Corleone, insists on getting bad news promptly. The fest is big on encouragement: It includes an open-pitch...

Music: Classical Country

Since moving to the North Bay from Austin, Texas more than a decade ago, guitarist and songwriter Danny Click has made a name in the local scene with his outfit, Danny Click & the Hell Yeahs!, delivering sizzling, countrified Americana rock. In fact, Pacific Sun readers recently voted the Hell Yeahs! Best Band in Marin for the second year in...
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