Advice Goddess

0

Q: A lot of women are posting pix of themselves on Instagram in very skimpy attire. I don’t feel comfortable doing that (though I’m in great shape), because I’m single and I’m afraid men would think I’m “easy.” Am I right in thinking men don’t take you seriously as relationship material if you post this type of pix? Or am I prudish and out of touch?—Curious

A: Ideally, if you tell somebody you have a few more weeks out on disability, they don’t immediately assume it’s because you got really bad friction burns working the pole. Evolutionary psychologist Cari Goetz and her colleagues note, not surprisingly, that men see skimpy attire on a woman as a signal that they can manipulate her into casual sex. (Women in their research also understood that men perceive skimpy attire this way.) But who actually ends up manipulating whom?

Goetz and her team speculate that some women—especially those who perceive themselves to be “low in mate value”—use revealing attire to advertise what seems to be their hookupability and other “exploitability cues.” However, these seemingly poor, defenseless sex bunnies may actually be looking to “advance their own mating and relationship goals.” As for how this might work, if a man likes the casual sex and keeps coming back for more, maybe, just maybe, she can draw him into a relationship. (Hookupily ever after?)

However, this approach is a risky strategy because, as Goetz and her colleagues point out, “men found women displaying cues to sexual exploitability to be attractive as short-term mates, but, importantly, not attractive as long-term mates.”

As for what you might make of all this, it’s best to avoid clothes with coverage just this side of G-strings and nipple tassels, as well as overtly sexual poses (like sucking on a finger—subtle!). However, you can take advantage of evolutionary psychology research that finds that men are drawn to women with an hourglass figure (as well as, heh, women who use deceptive undergarments to fake having one). In short, your best bet is posting shots of yourself looking classy-sexual. This means wearing clothes that reveal your curves to a man—but not your medical history: “I don’t know her name yet, dude, but I can tell you that she had her gallbladder removed.”

Q: I love my girlfriend, but she has some weird rules about her place: no shoes inside, cabinets can’t be left open, etc. We’ve gotten in fights when I’ve forgotten to do this stuff and then mentioned how ridiculous I find it. Should I have to do things I think are stupid?—Besieged

A: Your girlfriend reminds you of a well-known television star. Unfortunately, it’s Judge Judy.

You, like many people in relationships, have the expectation that your partner’s requests should make sense. This is where you go wrong. To be human is to be kind of an idiot. We’re all idiots on some level—meaning that we all say and do things that make sense to us but that others would reasonably find utterly idiotic.

That said, our idiocy is not without benefits. Economist Robert H. Frank observes that we evolved to sometimes behave in “seemingly irrational” ways that actually serve our interests. An example would be acting out in ways that test others’ commitment to us (though, typically, we don’t see it that way and may not even intend to do that).

So, though your girlfriend would probably list reasons for each of her rules—reasons you might find silly—what isn’t silly is her caring about your following them or at least caring enough to try. In short, you don’t have to endorse her ideas to try to act in accordance with them and to treat her kindly when she gets upset that you’ve forgotten. (For example, you could say: “I’m sorry. I know it’s important to you that I do this.”) This would be a signal that you care deeply about her, that you love her enough to do ridiculous things just to make her happy—maybe even to the point of handing her a shopping bag: “Look, honey! There was a sale at Prada on surgical shoe covers!”

The Hard Cell

When the chips were really down for Jason Rezaian, the Washington Post reporter and former Iranian hostage says he’d reflect on one of his late father’s Yogi Berra–type malapropisms.

His father, Taghi, an Iranian émigré to Marin County in the 1950s was “filled with jokes,” says Rezaian, “He had these sayings that didn’t make 100 percent sense, but when you thought about it, they did.” His dad, well-known in the community, ran a Persian rug emporium in San Rafael for decades, and Rezaian says he still has lots of relatives in and around the Bay Area, though he hasn’t lived here for years.

While reporting on Iranian life for the Post in 2014, Rezaian and his Iranian wife, Yeganeh Salehi, were arrested by Iranian security forces and accused of espionage.

He spent 544 days in the country’s most notorious prison, known as Evin—around six months of those in solitary confinement. His ordeal is recounted in Prisoner, a memoir just published on the late Anthony Bourdain’s imprint at HarperCollins, Ecco Books. He’s back in his hometown for several readings scheduled around the Bay Area.

The Marin County native, a graduate of Marin Academy High School, is in his early 40s and lives in Washington, D.C., now with his wife. Before their hostage crisis, they’d decided that they’d never have kids—now he says they’re considering it, though with a laugh he adds that the nine-month window has not yet opened.

Rezaian was subjected to intense psychological torture during his ordeal, which ended when he was freed as part of President Barack Obama’s negotiation of the Iran nuclear deal in 2015. His detainment included multiple threats that he’d be executed. He was repeatedly told to sign a confession as a condition of his release but heroically held the line against his captors and only ever admitted to doing his job at the Post, which was to report on Iranian life from the street-side and culturally engaged perspective of a returning son.

One of his dad’s Yogisms came in very handy, he says. “If you worry, you’re going to die,” he would advise his son. “If you don’t worry, you’re going to die. So don’t worry.”

He tried to not worry, despite his guards’ numerous threats that they’d cut off his fingers and toes, that he’d be executed. He spent months in a solitary confinement cell in the prison, and even there, he says, his natural optimism helped him to deal with the soul-crushing conditions.

“You have to keep separate sets of mental books,” he says by way of explaining how he survived long periods in solitary. (As his plight unfolded, Rezaian would eventually spend significant time with other inmates in a two-person cell.) “On the one hand, the fear and anxiety is omnipresent. But you learn that if you let that take everything over, it takes everything over. This is not a place where I or anybody wants to be, and I looked at my situation as always: I’m in this prison, considered one of the worst in the world. But just around me, I could see people who were in worse situations, cellmates who were more isolated, who couldn’t speak to the guards.”

Rezaian would come to look forward to his interrogations, he says in his book, because they would at least afford him human contact. He eventually came to appreciate that he was a player in a big unfolding negotiation between the United States and the Rouhani regime. He thought: “This is horrible, but it could be worse and worse and worse. Some days, it did get worse. Other days, there were glimmers of hope. I’m optimistic by nature.”

The first few weeks of Rezaian’s confinement were filled with fear and bewilderment. “I didn’t know what to think,” he says, and in his book writes how he repeatedly claimed his innocence and that this was all a big mistake. That was the first few days, he says. “Then the reality sets in.” His guards told him that the whole world already thought he was dead anyway, that the Washington Post didn’t care, and neither did the Obama Administration.

“Then the fear of influences on your thinking comes in,” he says. The guards would take him out of his “tiny vacuum sealed cell,” and then at least he’d be having interactions with people, even if they were threatening to cut off his fingers. Now Rezaian saw his captors let down their guard a bit. They threatened him with physical violence but never beat him. “Then you start to see—this is a hostage-taking. This particular moment in this country’s trajectory is not going to be served by killing an American.”

Still, he did fear that he’d be left behind in the Iran nuclear deal since scrapped by Donald Trump. Rezaian feared it might be a long time before he was released.

What he could not and did not know while in prison was that his older brother, Ali, his employers at the Post, officials in the Obama Administration—not to mention Marin Congressman Jared Huffman—were working on his release from the day he was arrested. “I can’t say it because I’m a journalist working for the Washington Post,” he says with a laugh, “but vote for Huffman!” He credits the pol for his dogged efforts on his behalf; Huffman was at a German airport to meet Rezaian when he was released.

Upon his release, Rezaian recalls that it was encouraging to him to know, in hindsight, that every time then-Secretary of State John Kerry met with his Iranian counterparts during the nuclear negotiations, Rezaian’s name came up in the negotiation.

That was encouraging. “What’s disheartening,” he says, “is that several [Americans] have been taken hostage since I was released, and there is no conversation going on with the United States and Iran right now, and for those people who are saying, ‘Don’t talk to evil, don’t negotiate with evil,’—well, that’s shortsighted,” and of no comfort to the hostage’s families.

The brutal murder of Rezaian’s colleague, Jamal Khashoggi, hangs over our conversation, as does the gourmet ghost of the late Anthony Bourdain, who filmed Rezaian for his Parts Unknown show in a segment about Persian cuisine, before the hostage-taking, and urged him to write Prisoner after his release.

First, Khashoggi, a Washington Post columnist who was murdered by Saudi Arabian officials last year: “The one thing in which the murder of Jamal and what happened to me are connected, or have in common: both are two instances of authoritarian regimes using extraordinary means to silence journalists who were writing about them. Full stop. Not even writing about them in ways that they didn’t like—in my case it was taking the pen out of my hand, and getting leverage with America. In Jamal’s case, it was simply, we are going to silence this person in an audacious and horrifying way so that other people are silenced too.

“I don’t want to compare and contrast the Iranian and the Saudi regime, they are both terrible, but I will say that this act by the Saudi regime, along with the war with Yemen, the crackdown on dissent within their own borders—I don’t think this is something that most Americans can wrap their minds around. They routinely behead people.”

He says that the disconnect between the American posture toward Iran and Saudi Arabia is an “incredibly disheartening” thing to behold in Washington, D.C. Trump has reportedly been trying to figure out a way to go to war with Iran for the past two years, instilling fear and propping up the “Death to America” rhetoric that Rezaian says woefully misreads the Iranian mindset toward America. “Juxtapose that with the way that this administration has responded to the death of my colleague, someone I was getting to know.”

“The most noteworthy thing about Iran is its people,” Rezaian adds and highlights an ancient culture with rich musical, literature, poetry, film and food traditions. “My money is always on the Iranian people,” he says. “They are resilient, they are smart, and over time they’ve made it clear that they are dissatisfied, the majority of them, with the rulers of this country.”

He suggests that the United States, as it promotes policies advertised as good for fomenting democracy and good for Iran, should take a look at whether travel bans and crippling sanctions are accomplishing the mission. “How can we say we support your quest for freedom when we’re not going to let you come here?”

Rezaian recalls a time in the 1960s and ’70s, before the Iranian hostage crisis, when Iranian students comprised the highest percent of foreign-born university students in America—many of them receiving their education in the Bay Area, long a destination for Iranian immigrants. “I don’t think there is hatred of America,” he says.

Rezaian’s time spent reporting on the streets of Iran left him with a clear impression that, instead, “Iranians are probably one of the most pro-America populaces” in the Middle East. “People are tired of the ‘Great Satan’ state media stuff.” Despite the longstanding Friday ritual of burning American flags in Tehran, he insists, “there is not rabid anti-Americanism in Iran.”

And then there’s Bourdain. Rezaian says the author and TV host’s 2018 suicide “remains, continues to be, the hardest thing that my wife and I have to grapple with.” He’ll get stopped on the street, he says, by Bourdain fans who saw Rezaian and his wife on his show during an episode filmed in Tehran six weeks before he was arrested. Rezaian says of himself that he’s not a gourmand but is a big lover of food (he lost lots of weight in prison, he recollects in the book), and in an interview, recalls a Marin youth filled with visits to the bustling multi-ethnic food scene on Fourth Street in San Rafael. “It was one of the great culinary destinations that nobody knew about where you could find food from all over the world,” he recalls.

During his ordeal in Iran, Bourdain’s celebrity status, he says, “gave a spotlight to our imprisonment that nothing else could.” The episode aired numerous times during his imprisonment and Rezaian says with obvious emotion that he “had no idea the lengths to which [Bourdain] was advocating for me publicly and privately while we were there.”

A few weeks after their release, Rezaian and his wife met with Bourdain for a meal in New York City. “This is a guy we are meeting for the second time, 20 months after the first time. It was an incredible roller coaster ride for us in the meantime—and it turned out he had been an incredible friend to us while we were in trouble.”

Bourdain encouraged Rezaian to write his story, and he did the “traditional thing,” he says—wrote a proposal, shopped it around to 14 publishers, six of whom made offers, including Bourdain’s Ecco imprint at HarperCollins. Rezaian then got an email from Laos, from Bourdain. “It was more like, whatever you decide, I’m going to be there for you,” Rezaian recalls. Bourdain added, “‘I’ll be a vocal and spirited advocate no matter what. Give my offer some consideration.’ When you get something like that, how can you say no?”

Rezaian sighs and reflects on his interactions with the late Bourdain. “We’re doing this for Tony.”

 

Jason Rezaian will appear with W. Kamau Bell on Jan. 28 at 7pm at

Angelico Hall, Dominican University of California, 20 Olive Ave., San Rafael. $45 includes book. On Jan. 29 at 7pm, he’ll be at Books Inc., 1491 Shattuck Ave., Berkeley. Contact store for ticket info. And on Jan. 30 at noon, he’ll be at the Commonwealth Club, 110 the Embarcadero, Taube Family Auditorium. Tickets, $10–$60.

Flashbacks

40 Years Ago This Week

In the auditorium of the Food and Agriculture Building on N. Street, where Jerry Brown was in the midst of delivering his longest, broadest and most conservative speech ever, Richard Silberman, his director of finance, and Grey Davis, his chief of staff, squirmed smugly in their metal folding chairs and looked at each other with an emotion that can only be described as wanderlust.

Behind the lectern, before a battery of prime-time TV cameras, the governor of California was in the midst of his 20-minute long paean to fiscal tight-fistedness. “The tax revolt is being heard,” he uttered coarsely, punctuating the air with right jabs.

Language a little less colorful than his predecessor’s, perhaps, but rhetoric redolent with rampaging Reaganism nonetheless.—Peter Anderson, Jan. 19–25, 1979

20 Years Ago This Week

Am I saying what Bill Clinton did was OK? Of course not. But is this offense an impeachable offense? I don’t think so. Bill Clinton has been an exceptional president. Our economy is better than it has been in decades. Our jobless rate is at an all time low, to name two of his accomplishments. To impeach a man who made a grave mistake in his personal conduct is bankrupting our government values. Should Bill Clinton be punished? I think he has been. By his family, friends, and the people of the world.

If there are 10 people in our government that can honestly say they have not had an “inappropriate relationship” and have not lied about it to their family and friends to protect themselves, their families and the people they love, then let them stand up, and let their votes be counted. Where is our generosity of spirit, and the forgiveness you would like bestowed on you, when a grave error in judgment has been made. After all, we all are only human.

—Letter to the Editor, Jan. 20–26, 1999

Border Myths

0

The nation is currently enduring a lengthy government shutdown because Congress won’t give Donald Trump $5.7 billion for a border wall he said that Mexico would pay for. But the supposed border crisis that requires a new wall is based on Trump mythology—a series of “alternative facts” that he and his acolytes continuously put forth. Many of these are amplified by media outlets and talk radio such that large numbers of Americans are misled about the state of the border and immigrants who pass through it.

Why should we in the North Bay be so concerned about Trump’s shenanigans on the border?

There is a humanitarian crisis at the Mexican border—although not one that a wall will solve. Thousands are being held by Customs and Border Protection in inhumane conditions at border facilities. Others are living in squalor at camps on the Mexican side of the border, awaiting asylum processing. Many of these refugees are from regions of Mexico and Central America with large populations in the North Bay. Many have close family in Sonoma, Marin and Napa counties and end up settling here.

Our country has handled refugee crises before. Thousands of European refugees settled here after World War II. In the 1980s, we opened our door to Cubans, Eastern Europeans and others fleeing communism. As before, we ought to work on an orderly and a humane manner for handling their claims of persecution—a solution more worthy of a nation of immigrants than an expensive and ineffective wall.

It’s worth examining some of the false myths surrounding the wall debate, so we can all understand better what sort of crisis we have on the border and whether a wall will help at all:

Myth #1: Illegal immigration across our southern border is out of control

One of the oft-repeated myths is that illegal immigration through the U.S.-Mexican border has been rising and now is higher than ever. Actually, there has been a net drop in undocumented immigration from Mexico over the last 10 years; the overwhelming majority of those trying to cross illegally are now caught and subject to expedited deportation. Many more undocumented immigrants have been deported over the last decade than ever before. In truth, half of the undocumented immigrants here are visa overstays, usually from Europe or Asia.

Myth #2: Asylum seekers all come illegally

In fact, a large portion of the refugees at our southern border are entering the United States legally, seeking asylum under the Refugee Act of 1980. The Trump administration is trying to cut off these legal paths to asylum. But the truth is that most of these families at the southern border—including the caravans of asylum seekers Trump has condemned—are actually following our own immigration laws and procedures.

Myth #3: Many of those coming across the border are criminals and terrorists

Most of those seeking asylum are from parts of Mexico or Central America ravaged by violence at the hands of criminal cartels or gangs. Extortion, kidnapping and murder are commonplace there. Virtually all of the asylum seekers I’ve met reported that their families were targets of this violence and were threatened with more violence if they stayed in their communities.

Department of Homeland Security officials have admitted there has never been any evidence of terrorists entering our southern border, and the claims that gang members proliferate among those seeking asylum is completely unsupported by fact.

Myth #4: These immigrants disappear once allowed in the United States

All applicants for asylum go through an interview process at the border to determine if they have a “credible fear of persecution” in their home country. Those who fail these interviews are deported immediately.

Those found to have a credible fear of persecution still have to wear an electronic monitor in order to get released. Later, they have a trial before an immigration judge and must prove they have a “well-founded fear of persecution based on religion, race, nationality, political opinion or social group.” If they fail to do so, they are deported.

Trump has falsely claimed only 10 percent show up for their hearings. In fact, the overwhelming majority who file asylum claims appear in court and a substantial number have proven their eligibility for asylum.

Myth #5: Undocumented immigrants get welfare and government aid

Despite repeated claims to the contrary by Trump, undocumented immigrants do not qualify for welfare, food stamps, Medicaid or virtually any other form of government assistance.

Christopher Kerosky has been an immigration lawyer for over 25 years and has personally handled more than a thousand asylum cases. He has offices in Santa Rosa, Napa and San Rafael.

 

Top Torn Tickets

0

It’s said that musicals are the bread and butter of community theater, so here’s a list of the North Bay productions I toasted this past year, my Top Torn Tickets of 2018: Part Two, the Musicals (in alphabetical order).

‘Always, Patsy Cline . . .’ (Sonoma Arts Live) Danielle DeBow’s Patsy was as heartbreaking as Karen Pinomaki’s Louise was amusing in director Michael Ross’ labor of love. Excellent costume and set design work (also by Ross) along with outstanding live music accompaniment under the direction of Ellen Patterson made this a memorable evening of musical theater.

‘A Chorus Line’ (Novato Theater Company) Few small theater companies would take the risk of producing a vehicle that requires triple-threat performers in most roles. Director Marilyn Izdebksi’s decades of experience in dance and choreography and terrific casting were key to this production’s success.

‘Hands on a Hardbody’ (Lucky Penny) The perfect-sized musical for the Napa company’s small space, there wasn’t much room for anything else once they got the pickup truck that’s central to the story onstage. Director Taylor Bartolucci and choreographer Staci Arriaga had just enough room for a nice, diverse cast to beautifully tell the atypical story.

‘I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change’ (Raven Players) The cavernous Raven Theatre in Healdsburg was converted into a quaint black-box space where director Diane Bailey let loose four talented performers to tell musical stories about the arc of human relationships. It worked really well.

‘Illyria’ (6th Street Playhouse) Shakespeare. Ugh. A Shakespeare musical? Groan. A really entertaining musical production based on Twelfth Night? Surprising! Director Craig Miller’s swan song was a clever adaptation of the Bard’s comedy, which combined excellent vocal talents and the musical direction of Lucas Sherman to produce the best sounding show I’d seen at 6th Street in a long time.

‘Peter Pan’ (Spreckels Theatre Company) There’s no better stage in the North Bay on which to see a large-scale musical than the Nellie Codding Theatre at Spreckels. Flying around on wires is so much more impressive in a 550-seat theater, and Sarah Wintermeyer’s winsome performance as Peter was good enough for me to set aside my long-standing beef with always casting a female in the role.

‘Scrooge in Love!’ (Lucky Penny) A fairly new play (this was only its third production) that’s good enough to become a Christmas standard. A great lead performance from Brian Herndon was supported by a top-notch ensemble in this reverential continuation of the Dickens classic.

Strike a Pose

0

Guitarists and songwriters Jon Auer and Ken Stringfellow were barely out of high school when they first formed and fronted alternative rock outfit the Posies in the late 1980s in Bellingham, Wash.

Last year, the two marked the Posies’ 30th anniversary, a milestone for a band that gained major label renown with power-pop records like Dear 23 and Frosting on the Beater in the early ’90s, and who continue to produce well-received albums like 2016’s Solid States.

After a year-long anniversary tour as a full band, the Posies will pare down to the duo of Auer and Stringfellow for a special seated show with opener Rebecca Blasband on Jan. 19 at Sweetwater Music Hall in Mill Valley.

“It was a great experience,” says Stringfellow of the band’s recent anniversary tour. “It’s wonderful that this music can still have a life and give us a life.”

While the band’s overall lineup has changed several times in 30 years, the heart of the group has always been Auer and Stringfellow’s collaborative, competitive and fraternal musical relationship.

Jon, says Stringfellow, “was definitely a prodigy, an absolutely technically proficient guitar player at age 13. We competed a lot, and the competition we have brought us good things in the art, but sometimes it can get personal.”

Stringfellow notes that, through ups and downs, the two have managed to come out on the other side still dedicated to making music together.

“This anniversary was a much needed celebration,” says Stringfellow. “I think we have a nice little momentum going.”

For the upcoming show in Mill Valley, the duo will still play an electric set, though they plan to showcase the Posies’ harmonious side in the intimate setting.

“As a rock band, we play very hard,” says Stringfellow. “It’s bombastic and it’s loud, and the songs we have support that—but I think we have also have nice vocal harmonies, melodies and lyrics that go in all sorts of different directions.”

In addition to offering their classic songs in a new light, Stringfellow notes that this duo tour will be a chance to think about more music.

“One of the things this tour is about,” he says, “is to get together and spend long car rides talking about how we’re going to do the next record, whatever the next record is.”

The Posies perform on Saturday, Jan. 19, at Sweetwater Music Hall, 19 Corte Madera Ave., Mill Valley. 8pm. $25–$30. 415.388.3850.

Letters

Suffering and Devastation

Good article (“Wilde? Child!” Jan. 9), but it does not take into account the suffering and murder of innocent animals, or the devastation to the climate and earth caused by fishing and animal agriculture. Your thoughts?

Yogaworksatwork, Via Twitter

Now Hiring

Bianca May (Letters, Dec. 12): I read the WH is having difficulty hiring staff lately. Perhaps send them a résumé. I used to call the WH when O was in there and a nice lady would answer the phone. Now it doesn’t even go to a machine . . .

David Curtis, Pacificsun.com

Second Chance

The Marine Mammal Center is the only organization authorized by the National Marine Mammal Fisheries Service to rescue and provide veterinary care for ill and injured marine mammals along 600 miles of California Coast (Heroes & Zeroes, Dec. 12). Please report marine mammals that appear to be ill, abandoned or in danger (415.289.7325). You’ll help give these animals a second chance at life while also aiding researchers with their ongoing studies.

Frank Shinneman, Pacificsun.com

Housing for All

It’s not as if real estate in Marin and Sonoma counties has been affordable anytime recently (“The Rent Kept a-Rollin’,” Dec. 6). We should look at this as an opportunity to build dense, transit-oriented housing for all income levels around all the SMART stations.

Mike C, Via Twitter

Hero & Zero

Marin County Sheriff’s Office Facebook Page

Hero

Steven, bound and determined to help a woman with car trouble, hopped a fence, among other things, to accomplish his mission. It began when he saw a woman driving on 101 southbound in Marin City with a flat tire. As he pulled up next to her on the freeway, he delivered the bad news. She exited 101 onto the Marin City off-ramp to call AAA. Many a man would keep on going, figuring he’d done his duty, but not Steven. This fine gentleman drove to the Gateway Shopping Center parking lot and climbed over the fence to check on the woman and her broken-down car (quite an achievement, considering he was sporting house slippers on his tootsies). When he discovered AAA couldn’t respond for approximately 30 minutes and the woman had an appointment, he rolled up his sleeves and changed her tire in less than 10. A big shout out to Steven for his kind deed, and thanks to the Marin County Sheriff’s Department for sharing his story.

Zero

Human excrement piled up at Point Reyes National Seashore due to Trump’s stubborn stance on reopening the federal government (see Upfront, Jan. 15). The bathrooms weren’t serviced and the toilets overflowed—but what cretins decided that the once pristine park made a suitable dumping ground? Thanks to party poopers, entire sections of the park were closed. Conditions became so disgusting that the Marin County Board of Supervisors voted to pay for the clean-up and maintain the bathrooms for two weeks. With a $1,000 price tag, the supes requested indemnification from the National Park Service and were promptly turned down. Grrrr.

Got a Hero or a Zero? Please send submissions to ni***************@ya***.com. Toss roses, hurl stones with more Heroes and Zeroes at pacificsun.com.

Hero & Zero

Marin County Sheriff’s Office Facebook Page
Hero
Steven, bound and determined to help a woman with car trouble, hopped a fence, among other things, to accomplish his mission. It began when he saw a woman driving on 101 southbound in Marin City with a flat tire. As he pulled up next to her on the freeway, he delivered the bad news. She exited 101 onto the Marin City off-ramp to call AAA. Many a man would keep on going, figuring he’d done his duty, but not Steven. This fine gentleman drove to the Gateway Shopping Center parking lot and climbed over the fence to check on the woman and her broken-down car (quite an achievement, considering he was sporting house slippers on his tootsies). When he discovered AAA couldn’t respond for approximately 30 minutes and the woman had an appointment, he rolled up his sleeves and changed her tire in less than 10. A big shout out to Steven for his kind deed, and thanks to the Marin County Sheriff’s Department for sharing his story.
Zero
Human excrement piled up at Point Reyes National Seashore due to Trump’s stubborn stance on reopening the federal government (see Upfront, Jan. 15). The bathrooms weren’t serviced and the toilets overflowed—but what cretins decided that the once pristine park made a suitable dumping ground? Thanks to party poopers, entire sections of the park were closed. Conditions became so disgusting that the Marin County Board of Supervisors voted to pay for the clean-up and maintain the bathrooms for two weeks. With a $1,000 price tag, the supes requested indemnification from the National Park Service and were promptly turned down. Grrrr.
Got a Hero or a Zero? Please send submissions to ni***************@ya***.com. Toss roses, hurl stones with more Heroes and Zeroes at pacificsun.com.

Bloc Buster

Every shot is thrilling in Cold War, Polish-born director Pawel Pawlikowski’s follow up to 2013’s Ida. Like Alfonso Cuarón’s Roma, Cold War is an endorsement of the power of black-and-white cinema.

The lean, fast film concerns the paradox of mid-20th century discontentment. Example: at great cost to yourself, you escape the workers’ paradise of the Soviet empire, a paradise where they tie your hands. You then arrive in capitalist heaven, to face what Joni Mitchell termed “the crazy you get from too much choice.”

The protagonist, Joanna Kulig’s lovely and infuriating Zula, is one of those Slavic types who can never really get comfortable with the frivolousness of the West. The easy morals of Paris disgust her; this movie is sort of an anti-Ninotchka.

Cold War is also a study of the problem of authenticity in art—whether something pure can survive when it’s touched, either as propaganda in the East, or as material to be bought and sold in the West.

Most of all, Cold War is a lustrous romance between Zula, whose life is clouded by a crime she committed when she was a girl, and a Michael Fassbinder-ish pianist Wiktor (Tomasz Kot).

In Poland in 1949, Wiktor and his team are turning a communist-seized mansion into a music school. Wiktor decides to accept one potential rural student, a blonde girl (Zula) with a big if aimless voice. It’s not the voice that interests him, it’s her look of self-amused sullenness.

Wiktor starts seeing Zula, but there’s trouble from the beginning. On her back in the summer grass, she tells Wiktor “I’ll be with you until the end of the world.” Beat. “I’m ratting on you.”

Zula’s forced tattling to the Communist higher-ups is the first sign of trouble in an affair that lasts more than a decade. There’s one missed chance after another for them, all over Europe. First, there’s an attempted defection in Berlin, and then, years later, an encounter in the walled medieval town of Split. This seaside city is in the allegedly unaligned nation of Yugoslavia, but Wiktor finds out he’s still within the grasp of the political goons.

With every passing year, Zula is more worn away by vodka and the mediocrity of the music she has to perform, not to mention the company of the oaf infatuated with her, the commissar Kaczmarek (Borys Szyc). She’s not moving like a young girl anymore.

The true lovers get a time of freedom in Paris, but there Zula seeks out hurt, proof of love and evidence of betrayal. It should be annoying to watch her acting out, but the excellent Kulig makes you understand Zula’s fury, and her loathing of any compromise.

As in Ida, Pawlikowski excels at summing up the communist empire. He shows us the way in which what Nabokov called “the lever of love” was used to manipulate rebels into compliance, as well as the Soviets’ kitschy diversions and vicious punishments. Here, he contrasts it with the nocturnal Paris of the existentialist days.

Cold War has the heart of an epic, a smart one, burrowing into its settings, and describing the bitter flavor of two different brands of moral crumble.

It’s an irony that we perceive something romantic in that Iron Curtain—as romantic as the wall in the legend of Pyramus and Thisbe. Here’s something that’s been making people tear up since Bowie’s Heroes or The Spy Who Came in From the Cold. (Some people love walls on their own; hence our current “national emergency.”)

In Cold War there’s everything the best spy films had when it comes to cynical distrust, and love that’s a matter of life and death. On that level of entertainment alone, it’s the smart version of A Star Is Born.

‘Cold War’ opens Friday, Jan. 18, at select theaters.

Advice Goddess

Q: A lot of women are posting pix of themselves on Instagram in very skimpy attire. I don’t feel comfortable doing that (though I’m in great shape), because I’m single and I’m afraid men would think I’m “easy.” Am I right in thinking men don’t take you seriously as relationship material if you post this type of pix? Or...

The Hard Cell

When the chips were really down for Jason Rezaian, the Washington Post reporter and former Iranian hostage says he’d reflect on one of his late father’s Yogi Berra–type malapropisms. His father, Taghi, an Iranian émigré to Marin County in the 1950s was “filled with jokes,” says Rezaian, “He had these sayings that didn’t make 100 percent sense, but when you...

Flashbacks

40 Years Ago This Week In the auditorium of the Food and Agriculture Building on N. Street, where Jerry Brown was in the midst of delivering his longest, broadest and most conservative speech ever, Richard Silberman, his director of finance, and Grey Davis, his chief of staff, squirmed smugly in their metal folding chairs and looked at each other with...

Border Myths

The nation is currently enduring a lengthy government shutdown because Congress won’t give Donald Trump $5.7 billion for a border wall he said that Mexico would pay for. But the supposed border crisis that requires a new wall is based on Trump mythology—a series of “alternative facts” that he and his acolytes continuously put forth. Many of these are...

Top Torn Tickets

It’s said that musicals are the bread and butter of community theater, so here’s a list of the North Bay productions I toasted this past year, my Top Torn Tickets of 2018: Part Two, the Musicals (in alphabetical order). ‘Always, Patsy Cline . . .’ (Sonoma Arts Live) Danielle DeBow’s Patsy was as heartbreaking as Karen Pinomaki’s Louise was amusing...

Strike a Pose

Guitarists and songwriters Jon Auer and Ken Stringfellow were barely out of high school when they first formed and fronted alternative rock outfit the Posies in the late 1980s in Bellingham, Wash. Last year, the two marked the Posies’ 30th anniversary, a milestone for a band that gained major label renown with power-pop records like Dear 23 and Frosting on...

Letters

Suffering and Devastation Good article (“Wilde? Child!” Jan. 9), but it does not take into account the suffering and murder of innocent animals, or the devastation to the climate and earth caused by fishing and animal agriculture. Your thoughts? Yogaworksatwork, Via Twitter Now Hiring Bianca May (Letters, Dec. 12): I read the WH is having difficulty hiring staff lately. Perhaps send them a...

Hero & Zero

Marin County Sheriff’s Office Facebook Page Hero Steven, bound and determined to help a woman with car trouble, hopped a fence, among other things, to accomplish his mission. It began when he saw a woman driving on 101 southbound in Marin City with a flat tire. As he pulled up next to her on the freeway, he delivered the bad news....

Hero & Zero

Marin County Sheriff’s Office Facebook Page Hero Steven, bound and determined to help a woman with car trouble, hopped a fence, among other things, to accomplish his mission. It began when he saw a woman driving on 101 southbound in Marin City with a flat tire. As he pulled up next to her on the freeway, he delivered the bad news....

Bloc Buster

Every shot is thrilling in Cold War, Polish-born director Pawel Pawlikowski’s follow up to 2013’s Ida. Like Alfonso Cuarón’s Roma, Cold War is an endorsement of the power of black-and-white cinema. The lean, fast film concerns the paradox of mid-20th century discontentment. Example: at great cost to yourself, you escape the workers’ paradise of the Soviet empire, a paradise where...
3,002FansLike
3,850FollowersFollow