It’s a bird. It’s a plane… No, wait—it’s Cupid with his bow, arrows and a personal agenda to spread love, lust and everything in between.
In other words, Valentine’s Day is nearly here, and that can mean just about anything from love to lust to loneliness to the irresistible urge to frolic solo through a field, celebrating the liberating freedom of being single.
Whether one is young, single or taken, in the honeymoon stage, or grieving heartbreak, love and its loss are part of a shared universal experience called being human. But just because love is a common affliction doesn’t mean it isn’t complicated. Romantic love is simultaneously the easiest thing in the world and the easiest thing to get wrong and explode spectacularly.
Luckily, the literary canon covers three aspects of the human condition more than others: war, religion and love. Since the current news cycle reports a lot of the former two and not much of the latter, now is the best time to have a candid conversation about love to balance the scales a bit.
So, what is love? Is it as simple as “Oh, baby, don’t hurt me,” or is there more to unpack than Haddaway’s hit song may lead us to believe? Well, let’s look at the past and present literature to help navigate the minefield filled with those amorous darts Eros loves to throw our way.
Let’s start with one of the most notable romance writers of old, Francis Petrarch (circa the 1300s). Petrarch is famous for his sonnets of love, which paved the way for writers such as William Shakespeare. This may sound a bit droll, but Petrarch’s struggles with love are far more relatable than one would expect.
You see, over the course of his life, Petrarch wrote a grand total of 366 poems declaring his passionate love for a woman named Laura. Petrarch was smitten with her, even though the two never had a relationship and may or may not have met. Why, one may ask? Well, Petrarch liked that Laura was naturally demure, very mindful…and blonde.
One line from a sonnet of Petrarch’s goes, “I ask that those who suffer by Love’s dart may pardon me, and pity me my worst.”
The current translation of that would be a mopey “Vaguebook” post saying, “Pity me, love sucks (if you know, you know).”
Another Italian writer that most people know is Dante Alighieri, who famously authored The Divine Comedy, aka Dante’s Inferno (plus Purgatorio and Paradiso). But Dante didn’t begin his writing career talking about heaven, hell and everything in between. No, Dante began with La Vita Nuova, which was all about courtly love…plus, The Divine Comedy is, at its heart, a love story in which Dante is just trying to get to his boo, Beatrice.
Moving on to a more contemporary era is Shakespeare, with iconic romantic literary works like Romeo and Juliet. This play famously shows just how disastrously stupid two youths in love can be. While most modern couples don’t fake their deaths and accidentally die in the process, it’s safe to say the drama and miscommunication of early dating is a shared experience regardless of the era.
Back to the here and now of romantic books: Literature on love and all its highs and lows, from smut to how-tos, is available with just one quick trip to a local bookshop. Book Passage, for example, has four upcoming author talks from those who have not only loved and/or lost but also logged their experiences for people to read, enjoy and even learn from.
So, what sorts of modern literary resources does Marin County have on the horizon to help lovelorn souls glean some answers on the topic of love?
Well, at 11am on Saturday, Feb. 8, Book Passage is hosting an author talk all about Leah Fisher’s novel, My Marriage Sabbatical: A Memoir of Solo Travel and Lasting Love. In an era where “gray divorce” is increasingly common, Fisher and her husband found a way to navigate their opposing desires and life paths. Fisher wanted to travel the world, but her husband did not, so they embarked on a journey of splitting up physically without splitting up permanently.
Then, at 1pm on the same day, Book Passage will celebrate Corinne Farago’s The Turned-On Couple: Your Path to Lasting Love, Passion and Pleasure, a work that gives its readers 65 lessons that can prevent or even renew a relationship’s passion. Farago’s book may hold the wisdom one seeks for those who desire more desire in a long-term relationship.
Skipping ahead to 4pm on Saturday, Feb. 15, Book Passage highlights the newly released How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love by authors Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu in conversation with Marie Thouin. This book compares love to a maze and offers readers a way out of the confusing landscape of the modern age of dating…which, despite its modern roots, sounds a whole lot like Lady Mary Wroth’s 17th-century poem which asks, “In this strange labyrinth how shall I turn?”
Lastly, but certainly not least-ly, at 6pm on Tuesday, Feb. 18, Book Passage welcomes Jennifer Finney Boylan’s new book, Cleavage: Men, Women and the Space Between Us. In this literary work, the author takes readers on an intimate exploration of gender identity through her own experience as a transgender American. Cleavage takes its audience through Boylan’s personal history, the lessons she learned, and, ultimately, the power of love through it all.
The power of love naturally brings us back to Valentine’s Day, a dichotomous holiday that throws one’s personal relationship with romance, love and partnership into sharp relief, highlighting happiness and satisfaction or more “woe is me” vibes.
No matter what this Valentine’s Day brings one’s way, books on love, gender identity and dating/courting are there to help remind one that they are far from alone (no matter what genre of love story they’re currently experiencing). The literary greats of old and modern eras alike are always there to offer words of wisdom, encouragement and a uniquely human way to celebrate the upcoming holiday.
Author talks, modern and classic literature and so much more can be found at local bookshops like Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera. To learn more, visit bookpassage.com.