ARIES (March 21-April 19): In accordance with astrological omens, I would love you to experiment with blending the sacred and mundane. Bring your deep self into the daily routine and imbue ordinary rhythms with tender care. Here are a few fun rituals to get you in the groove: 1. Say prayers or chant ecstatic poems while you’re shopping. 2. Build a shrine in a parking lot. 3. Stir up an inspired epiphany while doing housework. 4. If you find yourself in a confusing or awkward situation, dance like a holy person to conjure a blessing. 5. Commune with the Divine Creator during crazy-good sex.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’ve met many people who feel their love lives are jinxed. Often, they believe this nonsense because a creepy fortune-teller declared they will forever be denied a satisfying intimate relationship. I hate that! Any astrologer who delivers such crippling bewitchments should be outed as a charlatan. The good news for you, Taurus, is that you are in a grace period for all matters regarding romance, intimacy and togetherness. If you have ever worried there is a curse, obstruction or bad habit inhibiting your love life, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to free yourself from it.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini comedian Drew Carey says, “If I didn’t run from my fears, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.” Let’s discuss his approach in relation to you. After analyzing the astrological omens, I believe that as 2023 draws to a close and 2024 unfolds, you will feel less and less motivated to run from your fears. In part, that’s because you will face them with more courage and poise; they won’t have the same power over you. In addition, I suspect your fears will become objectively less scary. They will be less likely to come to pass. More and more, your fine mind will see how they trick you into imagining they’re more threatening than they truly are. Congratulations in advance, Gemini!
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I would love to see you intensify your devotion to your masterpiece—however you understand “masterpiece.” It could be a work of art or an innovation in your job or business. It could be a new baby, an adopted pet, a redefinition of what family means or an invigorated community. Might even be a beautiful alliance or enhanced connection with the divine or a refinement of the best gift you give the world. Life will conspire to help you in unexpected ways during the coming months if you rededicate yourself to this treasure.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Dear Sun, our one and only star: We love you and appreciate you! It’s amazing that you consume five million tons of yourself every second to generate the colossal energy you send in our direction. Thank you, beloved Sun! Is it OK with you if we think of you as a god? You are a superpowered genius of nourishment! And by the way, do you know who adores you the best? I’ll tell you: the Leo people here on Earth. They comprehend your grandeur and majesty better than anyone else. Would you consider giving them extra rewards in the coming weeks? They need and deserve a massive delivery of your bounty. Please fill them up with even more charisma, personal magnetism, vitality and generosity of spirit than usual. I promise they will use it wisely.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo musician and actor Shirley Manson has a message for you. She testifies, “I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool.” This will be especially helpful and inspirational counsel for you in the coming months, dear Virgo. The wish to appear chic or trendy or hip should be so far down on your list of priorities that it drops off the list entirely. Your assignment is to be passionately devoted to your deepest truths, unique desires and imaginative experiments.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you’re given a choice to advocate for either a dull, mediocre truth or a beautiful, invigorating truth, give your love to the latter. If you wonder whether you should ask a polite question that engenders harmony or a provocative question that pries loose agendas that have been half hidden, opt for the latter. If you feel nostalgic about an old tradition that stirs up little passion or fresh insight, let it go. Instead, dream up a new tradition that moves you emotionally and excites your mind.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Icelandic singer Bjork is a triple Scorpio, with sun, moon and ascendant in your sign. Neptune is there, too, giving her even more Scorpionic intensity. It’s not surprising that she describes her daily practice like this: “I have to re-create the universe every morning when I wake up and kill it in the evening.” In another quote, she places greater emphasis on the rebirth: “To wake up in the morning and actually find the day exciting is the biggest victory you can have.” In accordance with current astrological omens, I invite you to exalt and celebrate the post-resurrection aspects of your life’s work. It’s time for you to shine and sparkle and shimmer and bedazzle.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I prophesy that what has been lost will be found. What was last may not catapult all the way into the first spot, but it might—and will at least be close to the first. Here are more zingers for you as you move into the climactic stages of the Season of Turnarounds and Switcheroos: A difficult test will boost your intelligence; a rut will be disrupted, freeing you to find a smooth new groove; an unsettling twist will ultimately bring you delightful support. To get the best out of the upcoming challenges, Sagittarius, welcome them as opportunities to expand your understanding of how the world works.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Many cultures throughout history have staged rites of passage to mark the transformation from childhood to puberty. In ancient Greece, for example, kids formally relinquished their toys, symbolizing the intention to move into a new phase of their destinies. In accordance with astrological omens, I want to tweak this custom for your use, Capricorn. I propose that you embrace your second childhood. Fantasize about how you might refurbish your innocence, curiosity, playfulness and spontaneous joy. Then select an object that embodies a burdensome or unpleasant aspect of adulthood. Discard it. Find an object that signifies the fresh young spirit you’d like to awaken within you. Kiss it, sing to it and keep it in a prominent place.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): For advice about money, I talk with a banker who sometimes analyzes financial trends using Tarot cards. To keep abreast of politics on the ground level, I consult with a courtesan who has a Ph.D. in political science and cultivates intimate relations with governmental leaders. For guidance about rowdy ethics and etiquette, I seek input from an activist singer in an all-women punk band. How about you, Aquarius? Now is a favorable time to take an inventory of your posse of teachers, helpers and counselors. Make sure it’s serving you well and providing maximum inspiration and support. Hot tip: It may be time to add a new facilitator or two to your entourage.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now and then, you glide through a phase I describe as Freedom from Cosmic Compulsion. During these grace periods, fate has a reduced role in shaping your destiny. Your past doesn’t have its typical power to limit you or entrance you. According to my astrological analysis, you are now enjoying such a chapter. That’s why I predict that an infertile status quo will soon crumble. A boring, inflexible rule will become irrelevant. These and other breakthrough developments will give you extra leeway to innovate and invent. You will have a big, bright emptiness to work and play around in.
Homework: My new book, Astrology Is Real, is available: https://bit.ly/AstrologyReal.
