ARIES (March 21-April 19): Although there are over 7,000 varieties of apples, your grocery store probably offers no more than 15. But you shouldn’t feel deprived. Having 15 alternatives is magnificent. In fact, most of us do better in dealing with a modicum of choices rather than an extravagant abundance. This is true not just about apples but also about most things. I mention this, Aries, because now is an excellent time to pare down your options in regard to all your resources and influences. You will function best if you’re not overwhelmed with possibilities. You will thrive as you experiment with the principle that less is more.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus comedian Jerry Seinfeld, now 70 years old, has testified, “As a child, the only clear thought I had was ‘get candy.’” I encourage you to be equally single-minded in the near future, Taurus. Not necessarily about candy—but about goodies that appeal to your inner child as well as your inner teenager and inner adult. You are authorized by cosmic forces to go in quest of experiences that tickle your bliss.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’m not saying I would refuse to hire a Gemini person to house sit while I’m on vacation. You folks probably wouldn’t let my houseplants die, allow raccoons to sneak in and steal food, or leave piles of unwashed dishes in the sink. On the other hand, I’m not entirely confident you would take impeccable care of my home in every little way. But wait! Everything I just said does not apply to you now. My analysis of the omens suggests you will have a high aptitude for the domestic arts in the coming weeks. You will be more likely than usual to take good care of my home—and your own home, too. It’s a good time to redecorate and freshen up the vibe.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): These days, you are even smarter and more perceptive than usual. The deep intelligence of your higher self is pouring into your conscious awareness with extra intensity. That’s a good thing, right? Yes, mostly. But there may be a downside: You could be hyper-aware of people whose thinking is mediocre and whose discernment is substandard. That could be frustrating, though it also puts you in a good position to correct mistakes those people make. As you wield the healing power of your wisdom, heed these words from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “Misunderstandings and lethargy produce more wrong in the world than deceit and malice do.”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had an older sister, born under the sign of Leo. Her nickname was Nannerl. During their childhoods, she was as much a musical prodigy as he. Supervised by their father, they toured Europe performing together, playing harpsichord and piano. Nannerl periodically got top billing, and some critics regarded her as the superior talent. But misfortune struck when her parents decided it was unseemly for her, as a female, to continue her development as a genius. She was forcibly retired so she could learn the arts of housekeeping and prepare for marriage and children. Your assignment in the coming months, Leo, is to rebel against any influence that tempts you to tamp down your gifts and specialties. Assert your sovereignty. Identify what you do best, and do it more and better than you ever have before.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When an infant giraffe leaves its mother’s womb, it falls six feet to the ground. I suspect that when you are reborn sometime soon, Virgo, a milder and more genial jolt will occur. It may even be quite rousing and inspirational—not rudely bumpy at all. By the way, the plunge of the baby giraffe snaps its umbilical cord and stimulates the creature to take its initial breaths—getting it ready to begin its life journey. I suspect your genial jolt will bring comparable benefits.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Many people living in the Napo province of Ecuador enjoy eating a dish called ukuy, which is a Kichwa word for large ants. This is not an exotic meal for them. They may cook the ukuy or simply eat the creatures alive. If you travel to Napo anytime soon, Libra, I urge you to sample the ukuy. According to my reading of the astrological omens, such an experiment is in alignment with the kinds of experiences you Libras should be seeking: outside your usual habits, beyond your typical expectations and in amused rebellion against your customary way of doing things.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The theory of karma suggests that all our actions, good and bad and in-between, send ripples out into the world. These ripples eventually circle back to us, ensuring we experience events that mirror our original actions. If we lie and cheat, we will be lied to and cheated on. If we give generously and speak kindly about other people, we will be the recipient of generosity and kind words. I bring this up, Scorpio, because I believe you will soon harvest a slew of good karma that you have set in motion through your generosity and kindness. It may sometimes seem as if you’re getting more benevolence than you deserve, but in my estimation, it’s all well-earned.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I encourage you to buy yourself fun presents that give you a feisty boost. Why? Because I want you to bring an innovative, starting-fresh spirit into the ripening projects you are working on. Your attitude and approach could become too serious unless you infuse them with the spunky energy of an excitable kid. Gift suggestions: new music that makes you feel wild, new jewelry or clothes that make you feel daring, new tools that raise your confidence and new information that stirs your creativity.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): On a Tuesday in August 2012—one full Jupiter cycle ago—a Capricorn friend of mine called in sick to his job as a marketing specialist. He never returned. Instead, after enjoying a week off to relax, he began working to become a dance instructor. After six months, he was teaching novice students. Three years later, he was proficient enough to teach advanced students, and five years later, he was an expert. I am not advising you, Capricorn, to quit your job and launch your own quixotic quest for supremely gratifying work. But if you were ever going to start taking small steps towards that goal, now would be a good time. It’s also a favorable phase to improve the way your current job works for you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Three years ago, an Indonesian man celebrated his marriage to a rice cooker, which is a kitchen accessory. Khoirul Anam wore his finest clothes while his new spouse donned a white veil. In photos posted on social media, the happy couple are shown hugging and kissing. Now might also be a favorable time for you to wed your fortunes more closely with a valuable resource—though there’s no need to perform literal nuptials. What material thing helps bring out the best in you? If there is no such thing, now would be a good time to get it.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): For many years, I didn’t earn enough money to pay taxes. I was indigent. Fortunately, social programs provided me with food and some medical care. In recent years, though, I have had a better cash flow. I regularly send the U.S. government a share of my income. I wish they would spend all my tax contributions to help people in need. Alas, just 42% of my taxes pay for acts of kindness to my fellow humans, while 24% goes to funding the biggest military machine on earth. Maybe someday, there will be an option to allocate my tax donations exactly as I want. In this spirit, Pisces, I invite you to take inventory of the gifts and blessings you dole out. Now is a good time to correct any dubious priorities. Take steps to ensure that your generosity is going where it’s most needed and appreciated. What kind of giving makes you feel best?
Homework: What supposedly forbidden thing do you want that maybe isn’t so forbidden? Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com
Thank you Rob for these highly amusing and inspiring readings!